some general life advice required.

LegacyUser

My life is in tatters. I'm 23 and I feel like I've had enough. I'm not just too poor to whinge over being poor with a pint down the local with my friends. In fact, I haven't been out [not joking] since my last contract ended 9 months ago. I am the kind of poor who has to make a choice between food & heat,and at this stage I have about 3 friends dotted about the country,everyone else has left.

I wasted 4 years at colllege, now I have an MA that isn't worth the paper it's written in our current economic climate. I was the first person in my family to get a degree and i feel like I've failed them because I am not doing a thing. This is definitely not out of choice, my industry dried up [field archaeology]. I keep applying for jobs in different area's, but rarely make it to interview and haven't been offered anything yet. It's really disheartening.

My mother & stepfather were nice enough to let me live in a mobile home they have on their farm without which I would undoubtedly be homeless, but it's in the middle of nowhere [nearest town in half hour drive and I've no car] and the living is hard, and very far removed from the life I thought I would have for myself at this stage.

I can't take the cold and the damp, it's really bad this winter.I don't really want to say anything to them because they braved it for 2 years while renovating the farmhouse, and I don't want to seem ungrateful [lived with the grandparents as a child] but I've just about had enough.My pet died 2 months ago and he was pretty much all the company I had day to day. I can't take the isolation and the inactivity & I just can't conceive of a way out. I'm on welfare the past 9 months and now my savings are all spent up on essentials.... so it's not like I can even afford a plane ticket with a couple of months rent to go somewhere else & try to find work. My best friend works as a photographer, luckily her job is safe as houses. She basically got married straight out of school and she's got a gorgeous little kid now, a house, and a really nice husband. I look at her and I'd love security in my life like that and think "where did I go wrong?". My life just feels so small and I can't seem to get any part of it right.

Ainekav

I'm very sorry to hear about your misfortunes..
Does this best friend live very far away? Is there any way you could hang out with her a bit more- relieve the boredom...?
I doubt you'll seem ungrateful if you broach the heat subject in the right way... What about casually asking to borrow an electric heater? How many hours a day do u spend in this mobile home? Could you go in and chill out in their house for even an hour or two a day? Might make you feel better..
The economy isnt gonna stay like this forever. Now im no economic expert but i hear itll improve in a year maybe two.. Is there anything around you that you could do to occupy yourself? Any of your parents friends need jobs done, or anything like that?
You're so young, dont give up hope yet! Things will get better.. Things will turn around for you.You just need to make the best of things for a while and do everything you can in the meantime to get back on your feet.
Keep applying for the jobs. Get out of the house as much as u can. Youre only 23 you have plenty of time to achieve the 'ideal' life your friend has.
(Ps. she probably has problems too- no one has a perfect life)
I definitely think you should ask your parents about the heat- obv i dont know them, but from what you said im sure theyd help you out?
Would you consider getting a loan off them to go abroad? The airplane ticket and minimum extra and you could pay it back one you get sorted?

If not, is there anyone else who would consider lending you a bit of cash to get you sorted abroad? an uncle or anything? I know you mightnt like to because youre proud or watever but wouldnt it ultimately be better to be happy and a little embarrassed and temporarily in debt?

Think about your options carefully... Write a plan of action for the next month.

If the whole loan thing is impossible, why dont you see about helping people in the area with odd jobs.

At the very least try and make your living conditions more comfortable re heat.

Sorry hope this post helps...

Munstermad

Just a couple of suggestions,
try volunteering somewhere. plenty of groups, communities need volunteers and it will give you a direction and something worthwhile to focus on, too much time on your own is not good.
You never know it might open up other oppertunities for you.

Try a Fas C.E. scheme, they have work in a huge variety of places and funding for courses.

See if you can find a community course that is free of charge that you can go to, something you'll enjoy.

Just keep in mind i won't be like this forever, keep plodding on and eventually things will change.
I was in a similar place a while back and oppertunities came from the strangest of places.

Best of luck.

Monkey61

Hi OP,that does indeed sound terrible,but I have a few questions.

First of all, is there no way that you can live in the house with your mother and step dad for a while during the bad weather?
Also, I don't know where you live but would it be possible to ask your parents for a small loan and to move to a city and get a job. Supermarkets, restaurants, pubs, other shops are always looking for staff somewhere. Obviously a few months ago would have been a better time for this, but there's still a chance now. Or like another poster said, get yourself signed up for a FAS course.

Also, I'm not sure what you are spending your benefits on? Do you have debts or anything that your paying off? Because otherwise, your benefits should be enough to pay rent on a room in a house in a city - unless you are getting a very small amount.

sunshinegirl

Hey OP

would you try some of these ideas,i know a few people it worked out for.

Go to the local community officer and say your homeless,apply for rent allowance,they can help you with a deposit.say that the caravan isnt habitable anymore, etc.It is there job to help.Also did you apply for a fuel allowance?its only a tenner a week but it helps.

would you be able to get a loan of your family?for a car?or move in with one of your mates?theyre allowed rent a room tax free.