confused?

gayguy2009

hey guys, well my problem is that i am talkin to this lad on msn, neither of us are out yet btw. anyway i really like him, but i'm not sure how much he likes guys? he says he liked getting oral sex off guys, but wen i asked him if he would ever have sex with guys he said no. I don't understand how he like getting oral sex of guys nd wud not like sex. He told me i was attractive nd sexy looking lol but i dont understand him. could he be in denial or sumting? Tbh I dont believe he is bi, well just because i think there is no such thing? anyone ever meet a guy like this?

nomorebadtown

i'm no expert but i'm pretty sure there are a good number of gay men who dont indulge in full sex. you can be gay without getting involved in bum action. different people like different things.

Reflector

some guys like getting bjs or sleeping with other guys but have no romantic interest in men.
They are referred to as men who sleep with men as they don't identify as gay or bi.

anotherlostie

I'd agree that not all men like the shagging aspect of gay life. But if that's what you want when you meet guys, then move on to the next one.

anotherlostie

Reflector wrote: »

some guys like getting bjs or sleeping with other guys but have no romantic interest in men.
They are referred to as men who sleep with men as they don't identify as gay or bi.

I'd identify them as in denial!

Boston

Leaving aside the Bi comment, something like 25% (can't remember reference) of gay couples don't engage in anal sex/

Untense

... i dont understand him. could he be in denial or sumting?

Strangely, the idea of penetrating someones intestines doesn't always appeal to everyone.

Tbh I dont believe he is bi, well just because i think there is no such thing?

Bisexual people aren't like the tooth fairy, calling their existence in to question actually makes you the one who is in denial.

UU

Yeah that's true about the anal sex I'm gay and I'm not so into it myself. But I do agree with what makes one gay as opposed to "a man who sleep with other men" is that it is seen that gays will be involved in the romantic aspect also and not just purely sex although there are some who beg to differ. I think sex can be so overrated sometimes! :rolleyes:

Btw bisexual people do exist but I can understand your confusion as it is true that many bisexual guys do end up identifying as gay in the end. In saying that I know many bisexual people who have been with both genders so to dismiss them as an urban legend is a bit ridiculous!

gayguy2009

well my point is I thing your either born gay or straight, I think the in between bit is just denial. I think people say their bisexual so they don't get all the slack of being called a ******. they can just say "oh I like girls too."
When guys admit to being bisexual they only go for guys then, well thats coming from what I've heard and saw.

hot2def

gayguy2009 wrote: »

well my point is I thing your either born gay or straight, I think the in between bit is just denial.

a sizable chunk of the planet believes you're just born straight, and everything else is denial. doesn't make it so.

Boston

gayguy2009 wrote: »

well my point is I thing your either born gay or straight, I think the in between bit is just denial. I think people say their bisexual so they don't get all the slack of being called a ******. they can just say "oh I like girls too."
When guys admit to being bisexual they only go for guys then, well thats coming from what I've heard and saw.

Your experience is extremely limited. Just because you cannot relate to or understand something, doesn't mean it never happens.

jaffa20

Boston wrote: »

Leaving aside the Bi comment, something like 25% (can't remember reference) of gay couples don't engage in anal sex/

How can we know that? lol

Nevyn

gayguy2009 wrote: »

well my point is I thing your either born gay or straight, I think the in between bit is just denial. I think people say their bisexual so they don't get all the slack of being called a ******. they can just say "oh I like girls too."
When guys admit to being bisexual they only go for guys then, well thats coming from what I've heard and saw.

At this stage in my life I am not in denial or confused, I am bisexual.

A person can be bisexual and prefer one gender over the other but the fact
I am sexually attracted to certain people of both genders in the first place
makes me bisexual as far as I am concerned.

If your preferences and that of the person you desire do not match up
do not look for reasons they are copping out, you need to learn to accept
that you have different preferences and move on.

jaffa20

gayguy2009 wrote: »

well my point is I thing your either born gay or straight, I think the in between bit is just denial. I think people say their bisexual so they don't get all the slack of being called a ******. they can just say "oh I like girls too."
When guys admit to being bisexual they only go for guys then, well thats coming from what I've heard and saw.

I think both happen. People use Bi as an excuse but i believe bisexuality exists and when people use it as an excuse to avoid saying their gay, it actually shows up bisexuality as a farce.... just like in your perspective above.

Untense

I think people say their bisexual so they don't get all the slack of being called a ******. they can just say "oh I like girls too."

Plenty of people also pretend they are heterosexual, but it doesn't make heterosexuality any less a reality.

When guys admit to being bisexual they only go for guys then, well thats coming from what I've heard and saw.

There are other people out there that act differently. Just open your mind up to the possibility that not everyone you meet will fit in to a neat category.

Remember there are people out there that will look at you and have similarly narrow thoughts about you; "oh he should be attracted to women. Men should like women. There is something wrong with him", or one I read someone post recently on another forum, "he is just being that way because it's fashionable" :rolleyes:

Tricity Bendix

I find it odd that a homosexual should be closed minded about another's sexuality.

Nevyn

The person who was the most sneering to me about bisexuality is homosexual.
Just becuase a person is gay that doesn't preclude them from being close minded or a bigot or an asshole. /shrug.