Dating in reverse

LegacyUser

Hi everyone

Looking for some advice both male and female here. I was out last weekend and met this guy. I'd been chatting to his friends at the bar and he came up and introduced himself, kept bumping into him all night, dancing, chatting etc for a large portion of the night.

Even though its totally out of character for me I ended up sleeping with him that night - it was just a spark of chemistry (and possibly fuelled by all the alcohol consumed).

There was no awkwardness and we chatted away the next morning and he asked for my number and has been in touch a bit via text.

My problem is i want to move things back a bit and actually 'date' him ie get to know him properly as I think there could be something there.

I don't know if he sees it as some kind of fling like we've already been together so he doesnt need to make the effort as if we were pursuing me initially?! How do i bring things back several stages?

Any ideas on this or opinions on the being together on the first night?

LegacyUser

Eh yeah, you can't really IMO. It's 50-50 if you ask me and you have no control over it either, you have to see what he wants to do. If the next time you see him and you get it on is he just getting what he wants and if you don't get it on he might decide he got all he wants - it was a great night thanks.

I'd bring out the "I really like you" line. Uh-oh she really likes me!!! decision decision....

Propellerhead

To me as a male it would seem fairly obvious.

Ask him straight out would he like a date to see how things go or would he prefer to leave it.

Pussyfooting around the subject does not work. Be upfront about it and hopefully it will work for you. If not, no harm done so to speak and move on.

chickenhawk

Just ask him out. Chances are he is probably sitting somewhere thinking that you just wanted a one nighter and you might not be interested in a date. You'll never know unless you ask.

Oh and I wouldn't say 'I really like you' just yet. See how the date goes first.

Cunny-Funt

Just say you wanna get to know him a bit better. Thats fair enough no?

Musashi

As a man I would prefer an honest question over hints, we get confused easily!

"Had a good night, would you like to go out for a meal/cinema/beer and see how it goes?" would be preferable to any number of texts easing around the situation.

So ye've slept together. No single guy on earth thinks that guarantees that you will sleep with him again! He has to earn that trust every time, but he's had it once?

That only means that the chemistry is his to **** up! He is the one under pressure to make things work if he's interested. Your interest once is not a money back guarantee and lads know this. Unless he's living in the dark ages he knows that the next date has very little to do with the first contact. It's the same with every second date to some degree, he's still on probation.

Have fun, chat, and don't feel pressured into doing anything you don't want to! New date and a new day, just enjoy and see how it transpires.

Liam Byrne

regunregreg wrote: »

There was no awkwardness and we chatted away the next morning and he asked for my number and has been in touch a bit via text.

'nuff said. I'm almost envious - chemistry + chatting + no games !!! :cool:

Musashi's spot on:

"Had a good night, would you like to go out for a meal/cinema/beer and see how it goes?"

Best of luck!

LegacyUser

I'm with the other OP's - if he wants to see you again, turn it round that it's a date rather than a booty call. If he's only interested in a booty call, you'll know. Chances are that as the chemistry was so good, he'll feel the same as you and want to get to know you better. Good luck!!!

Cantoris

Yeah sounds like a good start. Sure just go out during the week when you both have to work the next day.....means you will take it reasonably handy and it goes no further. You can do the same again the next night and then head out at the weekend or whenever you are both off work and take things a little further. As OP said, just coz you slept with him once.....a lad should be quite happy to go through the dating piece, it's natural. God I wish it was that easy to chat up a girl at the bar!!

[Jackass]

So you slept with him, so what? Ask him if he fancies hanging out at the weekend or something and just start it naturally. You don't need to pretend it didn't happen, just spend time around eachother and if the spark is as good as you say it is, you'll end up together.

Snowie

if you can call him, if not send him a text.... text for a bit then chat for a bit not flirtng and then say So, when are you going to take me out ?.....