Children at Reception

Clareman

I know this will open a can of worms and everyone has different feelings behind whether to have children at a reception or not, personally I think not :pac:

Anyway, I'm having my niece and nephew as flower girl and page boy, my mother thinks that I have to have them at the reception now cause you have to feed them, I don't think so, what is normally done?

NinjaTruncs

It's pretty bad form to invite someone to the church part without also asking them to the reception.

Also their parents are goign to have to organise some way of getting the kids home after the church.

If it was me i'd be asking them to the whole thing.

Clareman

That's what I was thinking, the plan was (I had discussed it with the parents), was that as the father is the best man, the mother was going to bring them home and her sister come up to mind the kids, she'd then continue on to the reception (while the photos were being taken and stuff)

sweetie

normally I would agree but seeing as they are going to the service, in for a penny in for a pound and all that...

Eyeofthetiger

I would consider that really bad form, but then I don't agree with the whole no kids at weddings anyway.

Why do you not want them there?

Clareman

Not meaning to open up a whole new debate so apologies.

1 reason would be for logistics, if we invite the 2 then there's another 12 at least that would have to come, that's about 7.5% of the total amount of people going to the day. I've been to too many weddings where there's being kids running around the place roaring and shouting, imvho weddings are for adults. Saying that, all of that will be thrown out if I ever have my own kids and I will complain about ignorant people getting married that didn't invite my darlings

penexpers

Clareman wrote: »

Not meaning to open up a whole new debate so apologies.

1 reason would be for logistics, if we invite the 2 then there's another 12 at least that would have to come, that's about 7.5% of the total amount of people going to the day. I've been to too many weddings where there's being kids running around the place roaring and shouting, imvho weddings are for adults. Saying that, all of that will be thrown out if I ever have my own kids and I will complain about ignorant people getting married that didn't invite my darlings

Well it's good to see that you might end up contradicting yourself one day.

IMO, you should either invite them to the reception as well or not invite them at all and do without a flower girl and page boy.

Clareman

I'm thinking without flower girl or page boy in that case. Thanks

And my apologies if I have offended anyone, as i said I know that I will change my tune in times to come but at the moment I don't think children should be at weddings

Eyeofthetiger

If you are expecting them to behave during the service then surely they can behave during the reception?
I would think it's either have them at both or at neither, any other way is unfair on them and their parents.

MzFusspot

Could you maybe organise a treat for them in lieu of the going to the reception? Have them there for the mass and then something like 'Well, Mammy and Daddy are going to another mass just like this one but you two are going to the cinema AND McDonalds and when you get home there's a present for both of you to say thanks for being so good today' Have them more excited about what they're doing in the afternoon than they are about the wedding

If the parents have no probs with the kids not being at the reception I can't see an issue with it

implausible

I am not personally a big fan of kids at weddings, but in fairness, if they're pageboy and flower-girl, it's bad form to not have them at the reception.

That said, if their mother is happy enough with your arrangement and doesn't feel pressurised into bringing them home etc, you've no problem and I think MzFusspot's idea is a brilliant one.

I fail to see how inviting those two means another twelve! Surely it's perfectly obvious that those two are invited only because they have an important role to play.

littleweddingcr

would you consider an alternative? There are plenty of companies out there who offer on site child minding services for sitauatiosn exactly like yours.

luckat

I was at a wedding recently where there were about 12 kids, ranging from new babies to eight-year-olds.

They had a Santa at the reception, who called up the kids one by one. They danced up (or in the case of the shy one or two were led up, shyly sucking a finger) and got a present, which contained puzzles, colours, colouring books and plain books and storybooks.

These - and their parents - kept them happily occupied throughout the reception, then at around 8pm they went off to bed, with one parent staying with them for some time and the other for other time.

It was just gorgeous - adorable little brown-skinned girls in white dresses with satin sashes doing twirls; little fair-haired boys bouncing on daddies' knees; the whole thing was just.... life-affirming.

After all, what is a wedding but the ultimate family occasion?

sassa

It would depend on if you've already asked the parents about them being page boy and flower girl. do you really want to have to explain that the reason you dont want them to fill their roles anymore is because you dont want to bring them to the reception??

Clareman

Thanks all, we're not going to have page boy or flower girl, it was mentioned that we'd have them before but haven't done anything about it since, so no harm no foul