Useless Present

Biff11 · 08-01-2009 10:32am #1

Folks i need to get my sister a present for her 40th Birthday. I need to get her something useless. When i was younger she bought me a christmas present of a quazer set. She was going on how great it was for months. She only bought me one gun and one headset so i was meant to sit there shooting myself all day. She also got me the completely wrong batteries!! SHe's a spa. It's revenge time!!

Can anyone think of anything that you would need 2 of but that can be bought individually?

marzic · 08-01-2009 10:34am

a small dildo

Heisenberg. · 08-01-2009 10:34am

This post has been deleted.

gaz wac · 08-01-2009 10:35am

Shoes !

PROGRESSIVE CHARGE !!

CreepingDeath · 08-01-2009 10:35am

Biff11 wrote: »

Folks i need to get my sister a present for her 40th Birthday. I need to get her something useless.

Get her a book of baby names... at 40, that ship has pretty much sailed.

stovelid · 08-01-2009 10:35am

Pair of incontinence knickers with OAP written on them.

dazberry · 08-01-2009 10:37am

Get her the other quazer gun and headset.

D.

Wood · 08-01-2009 10:38am

If she lives in an apartment, a firelog.

If not, a bottle of gas, make sure she has no use for it. Or 2 litres of ice cream, make sure to wrap it at least 3 hours befor you give it to her

KTRIC · 08-01-2009 10:38am

marzic wrote: »

a small dildo

yeah, a really really small one :P

Mr. Incognito · 08-01-2009 10:41am

Get her a book.

"Preparing for menopause" comes to Mind.

jumphigher · 08-01-2009 10:42am

Give her the same.

whiskeyman · 08-01-2009 10:43am

A Barcode Battler

abi2007 · 08-01-2009 10:43am

Has she got a ds? if not buy her one of the sets that has the case and the pens, they're no use unless she has a ds.

ReacherCreature · 08-01-2009 10:43am

A bag of coal?

TerrorFirmer · 08-01-2009 10:45am

A framed picture of yourself.

Guaranteed worst, most useless and never to be utilized present ever.

gaz wac · 08-01-2009 10:46am

ReacherCreature wrote: »

A bag of coal?

How is that usless

if she has a fire, well and good, if not she can throw them at the neighbours !!!

AnonoBoy · 08-01-2009 10:46am

Biff11 wrote: »

Folks i need to get my sister a present for her 40th Birthday. I need to get her something useless. When i was younger she bought me a christmas present of a quazer set. She was going on how great it was for months. She only bought me one gun and one headset so i was meant to sit there shooting myself all day. She also got me the completely wrong batteries!! SHe's a spa. It's revenge time!!

Can anyone think of anything that you would need 2 of but that can be bought individually?

Wow! You really hold a grudge, don't you?

Go for the classic - get her a bowling ball with your name on it. Or one walkie talkie.

whiskeyman · 08-01-2009 10:49am

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

A framed picture of yourself.

Guaranteed worst, most useless and never to be utilized present ever.

Unless she takes out your photo and puts in one of herself and her partner...

ReacherCreature · 08-01-2009 10:50am

gaz wac wrote: »

How is that usless if she has a fire, well and good, if not she can throw them at the neighbours !!!

Seriously, how would you feel if you got a bag of coal for your 40th? From your own brother? That'd be a fairly crap and useless present me thinks!

abi2007 · 08-01-2009 10:52am

buy her a ticket for a football game in america.

Carroller16 · 08-01-2009 10:52am

marzic wrote: »

a small dildo

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

A framed picture of yourself.

Guaranteed worst, most useless and never to be utilized present ever.

Combine these two!!!

gaz wac · 08-01-2009 10:52am

We need more information on your sister...bra size, is or isent she a lesbian ?..yes this will help

S.I.R · 08-01-2009 10:52am

Biff11 wrote: »

Folks i need to get my sister a present for her 40th Birthday. I need to get her something useless. When i was younger she bought me a christmas present of a quazer set. She was going on how great it was for months. She only bought me one gun and one headset so i was meant to sit there shooting myself all day. She also got me the completely wrong batteries!! SHe's a spa. It's revenge time!!

Can anyone think of anything that you would need 2 of but that can be bought individually?

hmmm why not buy her a bike, peice by peice give her one each year...

...

that would be brilliant :cool:

5starpool · 08-01-2009 10:55am

A Wiimote, assuming she doesn't have a wii.

Danbo! · 08-01-2009 10:56am

Find a low-cost airline operating in africa or asia, and book a one way flight from one random airport to another.

Perhaps - http://www.royalbengalairline.com/

CountingCrows · 08-01-2009 10:57am

Sterling

The_Minister · 08-01-2009 10:58am

CreepingDeath wrote: »

Get her a book of baby names... at 40, that ship has pretty much sailed.

Bwa-ha-ha-ha

the lady · 08-01-2009 10:58am

Whiskeyman, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I've been trying to remember what the thing was that you scanned barcodes with for months and every time I asked a friend if they remembered they looked at me like I was mental. Vindicated!

seanybiker · 08-01-2009 10:58am

CreepingDeath wrote: »

Get her a book of baby names... at 40, that ship has pretty much sailed.

Best idea so far

hobochris · 08-01-2009 11:00am

CreepingDeath wrote: »

Get her a book of baby names... at 40, that ship has pretty much sailed.

In the seem theme as this, get her ONE baby monitor. its useless without the other and gets a dig in about her biological clock.:D

Biff11 · 08-01-2009 11:02am

gaz wac wrote: »

We need more information on your sister...bra size, is or isent she a lesbian ?..yes this will help

You should kow Mr Wac. It was you that made her a lesbian!

lucylu · 08-01-2009 11:03am

A Philips Electric sweeper
http://www.p4c.philips.com/files/f/fc6125_01/fc6125_01_pss_eng.pdf

What a pile of junk -
I got one a year ago for a present from my gadget mad father and used it once..
An ordinary brush would be cheaper, no energy costs, quicker and better.

The guy · 08-01-2009 11:15am

abi2007 wrote: »

Has she got a ds? if not buy her one of the sets that has the case and the pens, they're no use unless she has a ds.

Couldn't a DS stylus be used if she has a PDA, I don't know, I don't own a DS but I thought most stylus' were universal.

Get her Saved by the bell the new class it doesn't even play on Irish DVD players.

Hail 2 Da Chimp · 08-01-2009 11:18am

Get her a mens electric razor.
When she opens it, wink at her and say "you're welcome".

Amalgam · 08-01-2009 11:20am

Half Sting, save the Rainforests. Half, keep blood out of the drawers. Organic Tampons.

http://www.seventhgeneration.com/Organic-Tampons

monkeytronics · 08-01-2009 12:58pm

get her a horse tranquiliser gun.....

but with no tranquiliser darts....

Muhahahaha

Alternatively buy here a catheter and tell her she'll be needing it real soon, now thats she's so ooooold

gerTheGreat · 08-01-2009 1:21pm

get her a new head for her sweeping brush. make sure it's the wrong type, and that it won't fit.

wrap it up nicely in a box and give her a big hug and whisper in her ear that it was really expensive but you knew she'd love it.

Fizman · 08-01-2009 1:40pm

Get her a cat.

They're pretty fcukin useless. Plus it'll cost her money to maintain and feed, and it'll sh1t in her pillow case.*

*training may be required

miceal · 08-01-2009 1:58pm

Zavvi vouchers!

and2 · 08-01-2009 2:07pm

make a donation to charity on her behalf...

Hail 2 Da Chimp · 08-01-2009 2:24pm

and2 wrote: »

make a donation to charity on her behalf...

Make a donation to Stormfront on her behalf. Make it clear to everybody, this is what she wanted.

CreepingDeath · 08-01-2009 2:32pm

Get her a female kissagram to her workplace.

digitaldeath · 08-01-2009 3:07pm

A Yorkie. They're not for girls!

Tomk1 · 08-01-2009 3:10pm

miceal wrote: »

Zavvi vouchers!

Good one

CountingCrows wrote: »

Sterling

So she can go up north and buy a new TV?

CreepingDeath wrote: »

Get her a book of baby names... at 40, that ship has pretty much sailed.

That's just insulting.

It should be something like you can come over and keep saying how amazing it is, like a pink flamingo (garden ornament) and no garden. Or a door bell with "crazy frog" or other annoying 5min tune on it and install it, so every time it goes off just annoys her.

a bible ??

Useless Present

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