Being Called ''Love''. Offensive?

Volvoboy

Do you find the word ''love'' offensive?

Given context handing back change to a girl ''thanks love here ya go''

?

seanybiker

Thats not offensive at all. Saying "here's your change ya gee bag" would be worse.

not offensive and i wouldn't lose any sleep over it, but i'd prefer not to be called that

Volvoboy

seanybiker wrote: »

Thats not offensive at all. Saying "here's your change ya gee bag" would be worse.

:pac:

bluewolf wrote: »

not offensive and i wouldn't lose any sleep over it, but i'd prefer not to be called that

Cein Faith?

Stheno

No don't mind it.

I deal with one supplier who is forever calling me hun when he's on the phone, that annoys me

Nevyn

I don't like to be called that either by people with whom I am not on intimate terms with,
even more so complete strangers.

mikemac

It's not offensive at all.
Seems to be very common among older people too

No different to an Englishman calling you "mate" and you've never met them before, same thing

Thoie

I'd accept it from someone a good bit older than me (in a motherly or fatherly way), but would think it a bit odd from someone my age or younger. I wouldn't lose sleep over it, or throw a hissy fit, but it'd make me blink.

Tirabaralla

I don't mind it at all...maybe cause I am foreigner but i find it very irish and nice

mollybird

i don't mind at all. i call it to some people but mainly my boyfriend. i do call alot of people though "hun".

Volvoboy

Thoie wrote: »

I'd accept it from someone a good bit older than me (in a motherly or fatherly way), but would think it a bit odd from someone my age or younger. I wouldn't lose sleep over it, or throw a hissy fit, but it'd make me blink.

Riiiight.

FearDark

Calm down love... get over it

the_syco

Thaedydal wrote: »

I don't like to be called that either by people with whom I am not on intimate terms with,
even more so complete strangers.

The only wans who say it are the old wans selling fruit on the streets of Dublin, or sometimes Dublin inner city old wans in general.

georgem25

Its definitely not offensive. Some people dont even realise they are saying it.

Rabies

Thaedydal wrote: »

I don't like to be called that either by people with whom I am not on intimate terms with,
even more so complete strangers.

Most of the time it is just a force of habit by people. Common everyday use of a word. As already said, calling some one mate, bro whatever, you can't get offended by something so trivial.

Nevyn

I didn't say that I was offended I stated a personal preference to not be refered to that by people that I don't know. I am aware of it in certain peoples speech patterns as part of thier vernacular but that doesn't mean I have to like it and am entirly entitled to feel that it's being over familiar. I would not be rude about it esp to a complete stranger but if it was someone who I had to interact with I would say something.

Thoie

Volvoboy wrote: »

Riiiight.

Hmm?

It's just the sort of thing that my butcher, or the elderly woman in the corner shop is likely to say to me. If a 20 year old in Spar said it I'd find it surprising. I wouldn't be offended, it'd just throw me a bit.

Wibbs

Ok it may be harmless in some ways but.....I dunno it feels overly familiar to me when dealing with strangers. Overly presumptuous tbh.

allabouteve

Wibbs wrote: »

Ok it may be harmless in some ways but.....I dunno it feels overly familiar to me when dealing with strangers. Overly presumptuous tbh.

Overly familiar, and sometimes patronising.

I don't mind my elderly neighbour calling me love, but if a colleague, especially one subbordinate or younger, says it, its outright insolent.

Peared

The type of person that usually says it - I reckon there's punishment enough in just being that kind of idiot so I don't bother saying anything.

Wibbs

allabouteve wrote: »

Overly familiar, and sometimes patronising.

I don't mind my elderly neighbour calling me love, but if a colleague, especially one subbordinate or younger, says it, its outright insolent.

Patronising is the word I was grasping for. There's an inherent power thing going on. Well that's my feeling of it and I'm no PC type. OK some older/elderly guy saying it fine, but some young fella? Eh no. May be meant in jest or friendliness, but it still makes this unreconstructed chauvinist bastid a bit twitchy.

Latchy

It's just a word like any other word .If somebody who use's it as a greeting thinks you are annoyed by it they will probably continue to say it just to annoy you . Probably !

minidazzler

I use it every now and then but don't even realise it.

Especially when talking to American tourists, it just comes out and they get all gooey over it!!!! It's always great for making yourself seem more "Irish".

Rabies

These days people get worked up over such little things. Everything has to be said right, perfect use of words. Watch your tongue where every you go. Sure, some of it is just plan manners, but the rest is harmless.
We're moving in to a world where we can't say or do anything with out hurting the feelings of some one.
Of course things need to progress, some of the old ways and sayings weren't nice to both sexes at times, but trying to make everyone happy is bollox to be honest.

*rant rant rant*

I live in NZ, do you think I get annoyed everytime I'm called 'bro' or 'cuz'. No!
I'm not that strangers brother, or cousin, don't great me like one.... but wait. It doesn't bother me or most people.

Its not that it is accepted because its common place or the norm. It just doesn't offend (annoy) people.
Girls often call me honey, hun, babe, sweetheart. Those are words often only used for people in relationship, not causal strangers or random people you meet.

Ah.... feck it. I love all you babes from the tLL. hugs kisses and touching for all

4zn76tysfajdxp

When I was a lad, my Pa used to call me "love." So in my mind, it's just a little term for insubordinates in general rather than just men or women. Therefore, I have no problem with it. I can see why others would though.

Peared

Let's face it, it's usually either old people (forgiveable mostly), skangers or idiot men who say it.

LadyE

I dont find it offesive at all, its a nice little thing I think!

Rabies

and of course women never say it

Latchy

It's a womon thang !

Toto Wolfcastle

Words don't offend me.

Sometimes the context in which they are used offend me, but generally I couldn't care less.

pseudonym1

Gosh - chill the hell out people! Love is an old school term of endearment attempt at affection and friendliness! Inherent part of this country's character - bloody hell people getting antsy about being called love shows modern misplaced judgement. IMO, Chill the hell out take it for what it is a term of expression without malice!

Now if it is said in an intentional patronising way - its a different story but any word in correct tone can sound that way.

Rabies

/the below post is to be taken with a pinch of salt and is going off on a tangent


Right.

So you(women) don't want/like to be called love unless its by a loved one, but yet it seems ok for women can say it to men

You want to be be your own woman, pay for your own drinks and food on dates. You earn enough, equal pay for the women n'all that jazz. But yet if we offer to pay you get offended, but tell you friends it was really cute especially when we held the car door open for you. Who said manners is dead, but don't tell us that.

Wife beating is wrong worng wrong wrong (to the tune of Dr Cox from Scrubs). But if a woman beats a guy then we deserved it, prob called her love and didn't bring flowers to the dinner that she paid paid for.

There are no good guys left in the country ya moan about (well I suppose I did leave you all), a guy plucks up the courage to say hi and you shoot him down with a hail of bullets and dirty looks in bar/club/supermarket. If you to find someone, don't wait for us to go to you. Get up of your ass and do it yourself.

Its all about double standards. What the hell do you want. Call you this, don't call you that. Its ok for women but not ok for men.

You want this and that, and by fvck it better be expensive and something great else table for one here we come.

Latchy

And what was that Beatles song again ? oh yeah '' all you need is love '' .

dare yar now !

Peared

Rabies wrote: »

/the below post is to be taken with a pinch of salt and is going off on a tangent


Right.

So you(women) don't want/like to be called love unless its by a loved one, but yet it seems ok for women can say it to men

You want to be be your own woman, pay for your own drinks and food on dates. You earn enough, equal pay for the women n'all that jazz. But yet if we offer to pay you get offended, but tell you friends it was really cute especially when we held the car door open for you. Who said manners is dead, but don't tell us that.

Wife beating is wrong worng wrong wrong (to the tune of Dr Cox from Scrubs). But if a woman beats a guy then we deserved it, prob called her love and didn't bring flowers to the dinner that she paid paid for.

There are no good guys left in the country ya moan about (well I suppose I did leave you all), a guy plucks up the courage to say hi and you shoot him down with a hail of bullets and dirty looks in bar/club/supermarket. If you to find someone, don't wait for us to go to you. Get up of your ass and do it yourself.

Its all about double standards. What the hell do you want. Call you this, don't call you that. Its ok for women but not ok for men.

You want this and that, and by fvck it better be expensive and something great else table for one here we come.

I'm not like that and I don't know any girls like that.

Looks to me like you have just done the very thing you are complaining about.

monkeyfudge

I for one hate being called it.

It tends to be when I have my hair beyond a certain length and it's usually bus drivers.

Stheno

Rabies wrote: »

/the below post is to be taken with a pinch of salt and is going off on a tangent


Right.

So you(women) don't want/like to be called love unless its by a loved one, but yet it seems ok for women can say it to men

You want to be be your own woman, pay for your own drinks and food on dates. You earn enough, equal pay for the women n'all that jazz. But yet if we offer to pay you get offended, but tell you friends it was really cute especially when we held the car door open for you. Who said manners is dead, but don't tell us that.

Wife beating is wrong worng wrong wrong (to the tune of Dr Cox from Scrubs). But if a woman beats a guy then we deserved it, prob called her love and didn't bring flowers to the dinner that she paid paid for.

There are no good guys left in the country ya moan about (well I suppose I did leave you all), a guy plucks up the courage to say hi and you shoot him down with a hail of bullets and dirty looks in bar/club/supermarket. If you to find someone, don't wait for us to go to you. Get up of your ass and do it yourself.

Its all about double standards. What the hell do you want. Call you this, don't call you that. Its ok for women but not ok for men.

You want this and that, and by fvck it better be expensive and something great else table for one here we come.

Tangent and all I have to ask "bitter much?"

FTR, I like being treated, and treating, and love good manners/chivalry.
Beating anyone up is wrong, I do love flowers, and like giving them to guys too

I've no problem with asking guys out and have done so As for gifts, I'm not bothered, expensive gifts make me feel like I'm being paid off, they do nothing for me.

But heck, in a professional business relationship, call me love or honey and I'll just consider you an idiot, are you going to call your male customers the same?

The Saint

It's weird, I'm a bloke i my mid/late 20's and it doesn't bother me in the least if I'm called love. My mother still calls me and the rest of my siblings love. As someone has already said if it's stranger calling you it, it's usually the type of woman who sells fruit on the street or a skanger. It doesn't bother me being called love by them. I would find it odd if a girl my own age called me it but I've been called hun by some of my female friends.

However I would never call someone else love. Not even if they were a younger family member like a niece or nephew. I would especially not call a girl love and absolutely not one I don't know. I've called female friends of mine other terms of endearment but never love. As someone said before I'd think I was being patronising if I did. So there's the paradox, I don't mind people calling me love but I'd think I was being patronising calling someone else love.

Man I've issues.

dfx-

Sometimes the life of a recluse is inviting if we're now getting offended by something like this..

Rabies

/adds a pinch more salt to post

Meh that doesn't bother me, I like vernacular english.
What does cross the line of appropiateness for me, is when strangers touch the small of your back.

sukikettle

I am a thoroughly modern Millie and I hate being called love. I prefer madam or pretty lady or lovely lass or beaut

shellyboo

I really, really hate being called 'love', 'darling', 'sweetheart', 'pet' or any endearment - unless it's my parents or a boyfriend. I find it really patronising.

I have a name, please use it. If you do not know my name, then you have no business calling me any of the above.

Rabies wrote: »

So you(women) don't want/like to be called love unless its by a loved one, but yet it seems ok for women can say it to men

It seems, to you. I would not call a random stranger 'love', man or woman.

Moonbaby wrote: »

Meh that doesn't bother me, I like vernacular english.
What does cross the line of appropiateness for me, is when strangers touch the small of your back.

+1

Makes my skin crawl.

ntlbell

ntlbell

dfx- wrote: »

Sometimes the life of a recluse is inviting if we're now getting offended by something like this..

I think being a recluse is probably part of the problem here people are so withdrawn from social reality they get offended by people being pleasant.

It must be real hard to live some of these peoples lives you would just spend most of your life pissed off with everyone else..

Slow Motion

shellyboo wrote: »

I really, really hate being called 'love', 'darling', 'sweetheart', 'pet' or any endearment - unless it's my parents or a boyfriend. I find it really patronising.

I have a name, please use it. If you do not know my name, then you have no business calling me any of the above.

I'm sorry chicken, what was your name again?

Curvy Vixen

Peared wrote: »

Let's face it, it's usually either old people (forgiveable mostly), skangers or idiot men who say it.

I'm none of the above and sometimes use that and other 'terms of endearments' for those not 'endeared' to me.

However, I am from South East London and just as 'feck' and 'bollix' seems to be the norm for a lot of Irish peoples everyday speech, terms like 'love' are peppered throughout my everyday speech.

ntlbell

Peared wrote: »

Let's face it, it's usually either old people (forgiveable mostly), skangers or idiot men who say it.

No idiot women no?

Dudess

I don't give a sh1t when a stranger calls me "love". In fact I think it's quite pleasant and warm... although I wouldn't do it myself.

ntlbell

inferiority complex springs to mind.

Dudess

Sure it does.

ntlbell

Dudess wrote: »

Sure it does.

I wasn't replying to you.