Advice in online dating ...please

sunflower352

After being very badly burnt from previous relationships, I am now towing with the idea of getting back onto the dating scene.
I was thinking of online dating as Im really fed up with attached with eejits or married men in the pub/club scene.

Any tips ...

Thank you in advance

andreac

Trust me, the online thing is just as bad.
Ive tried it out for the last few months and theres very few genuine guys out there online.
Ive met up with a few, one turned out to be married??, one was a header and most of the others seem to just expect one thing.

Just be careful and dont give out personal info too quick, try get to know them online for a while first before meeting up.
Good luck!

miders

its not all bad....depends who you talk to!!!
ive had wonderful experiences met lovely people!some became friends some i dated.

just be careful and take your time!!!!

best of luck

Aloysius Flyte

It can be good fun, especially if there are a few of your friends who trying it also.

My advice would be, have a profile of yourself that it happy and friendly. Don't have a wishlist of the type of person that you are looking for, personally that is a major turnoff.

Get the know people online, take your time, don't rush into meeting people, and when you do, try lunch or midweek evening. Tell a number of friends where you are and make them check in on you during the night and be in a place that you know well, so that you can escape easily. Stay safe and have fun. There are some weirdos out there and some seemingly normal people also. (though one of my recently engaged male colleagues emailed a friend of mine for sex - ugh ugh ugh):mad:

LegacyUser

online dating is a great opportunity to meet people you wouldnt normally meet out on the dating scene due to a variety of reasons. i.e. location. i have met someone offline and am going out with him for the last 6 months, tis going great. get to know the person well first online as this can be a method to weed out the losers and weirdos and dont give too much too soon. be honest and yourself, dont say what you think that others might want to hear. as you are newly out of a relationship, it can be a great way of getting back out on the dating scene and build up the confidence to dating, if it doesnt work out too take it personally as different strokes for different fokes.

smiler26

I've always been in favour of online dating, but be very very careful.

It's a haven for married men looking for a one-nighter and for general single guys only after one thing.

Granted, there are plenty of genuine guys out there, but it takes a lot of cop-on and sense to filter them....

I've heard lots of success stories, so I know that they're out there, but you really need to take things very carefully.

Good luck!!!

Smiler

andreac

smiler26 wrote: »

I've always been in favour of online dating, but be very very careful.

It's a haven for married men looking for a one-nighter and for general single guys only after one thing.

Granted, there are plenty of genuine guys out there, but it takes a lot of cop-on and sense to filter them....

Smiler

Totally agree here, i dont know what lads think these sites are, but a lot are only after one thing.

lolli

I met my boyfriend through a website. My brother is getting married to a girl he met online so it can be successful. I have met plenty of people online and cant say i've ever really had a bad experience but just make sure you are cautious and that someone knows where you are.

sin mar ata

So what online dating site do you all use?

MJOR

i used anotherfriend.com and met my OH on it. Just manage your expectations there'll be a few "do you wear suspenders"? type emails and just ignore or block those people. I think its a great way to meet people both as friends and maybe more. Take your time and don't rush
Best of luck!:D:D

seanybiker

Never used one meself but two of my friends got married about a month or two ago and they met each other through onlin dating about 6-7 years ago, so I presume it cant be all that bad.

Propellerhead

I would add enjoy but be wary of giving away too much personal information too quickly. In recent months I met one lady who was much more conservative a personality from her online one and who wouldn't give my beliefs the time of day and another where both of us were so eager to have a relationship that we only ran into a few things that were dealbreakers after a week or two of very intensive conversations with each other. I'm starting to think again that random meeting of wimmins in a nightclub may not be so bad after all..

Teacherman

I tried it from time to time. Simple advice-meet for coffee during a sat. Agree to meet for an hour. Avoids having to sit with someone for 2-3 hours you know you would never really date. Yes,you meet a lot of weirdos but lets face facts you could go months or years without a date. Process speeds up meeting peo-you can meet some genuine peo but you must wade through ****e first.

GiftofGab

sin mar ata wrote: »

So what online dating site do you all use?

http://www.plentyoffish.com
Its 100% free. Fun too-ive yet to meet anybody but im only on their for the fun of it.

Salome

Online dating is a minefield but it can work out sometimes. I did meet a couple of guys online - one turned out to be married but was looking for other women with the wife's consent and the other had 2 kids with 2 different women and was seeing me and someone else at the same time - she's now pregnant with his kid - lovely for her.

However, I did meet someone else online just when I was about to give up, we're now seeing each other for 18 months.

My advice is - get to know them very well online before you go too far. Trust your instincts - if they sound too good to be true, they usually are.

Good luck!!!

GiftofGab

Salome wrote: »

Online dating is a minefield but it can work out sometimes. I did meet a couple of guys online - one turned out to be married but was looking for other women with the wife's consent and the other had 2 kids with 2 different women and was seeing me and someone else at the same time - she's now pregnant with his kid - lovely for her.

However, I did meet someone else online just when I was about to give up, we're now seeing each other for 18 months.

My advice is - get to know them very well online before you go too far. Trust your instincts - if they sound too good to be true, they usually are.

Good luck!!!

I think it seems to work alot easier when you get a bit older (no offence but i don't even know your age). I just turned 23 last week so i find there's not many people my age on them sites. The first two guys you were talking about seem quite dodgy but at least they were honest with you. Glad you found somebody

Salome

GiftofGab wrote: »

I think it seems to work alot easier when you get a bit older (no offence but i don't even know your age). I just turned 23 last week so i find there's not many people my age on them sites. The first two guys you were talking about seem quite dodgy but at least they were honest with you. Glad you found somebody

I'm in my mid-thirties now - I agree that there's more my age on the sites. Probably because they don't want to rely on going to pubs/clubs. In my case, I felt that if I went to clubs or pubs, I'd look like mutton dressed as lamb and all my friends were settled with husbands and kids so going out with them wasn't an option. Luckily, my bloke was in the same boat - we found, after a coffee date, that we had a lot in common. And we still do!

m'lady

Internet dating sites can be sucessful..sometimes! After kissing many frogs, I finally found the guy for me-online. Im in my late 20's and he is in early 30's. We had both been on same situation, not getting out alot and tried online dating. So after a few ups and downs we finally got together, and I realised he was the guy for me!

He proposed on xmas night and we are also looking at houses to buy!
One piece of advise I would give would be to meet the person as soon as, just for a coffee even, before you go sharing your inner most thoughts and feelings and then realising that they are in fact freaks!

Go with the flow, have very little expectations and u won't be disappointed!-good luck

cantdecide

Just a quick request here on behalf of the normal, decent guys- Pleeeeeease reply when someone takes the time.

I've put up pics and a good profile and write interesteing openers and sticking my neck out and not getting the time of day back is just sould destroying. Just cos some of us ain't pretty doesn't mean we're sleazy weirdos:D

BanjoSpanner

I haven't read up through all the replies but just to mention that I met the girl who is now my wife on an online dating site. Worked out very well for us !

Naturally enough I haven't been on one of these sites recently. At the time we met they were a relatively new invention, but I guess I can appreciate what others say in that there are prob many weirdos on there looking for all sorts.

But I would also have to say that there must be some genuine cases out there too ..... I know 'cause I was one of them ! :D

GiftofGab

cantdecide wrote: »

Just a quick request here on behalf of the normal, decent guys- Pleeeeeease reply when someone takes the time.

I've put up pics and a good profile and write interesteing openers and sticking my neck out and not getting the time of day back is just sould destroying. Just cos some of us ain't pretty doesn't mean we're sleazy weirdos:D

Ah now...i disagree....if im not interested then I wouldn't waste anybodies time in replying back to them. There's no point in leading someone on then turning around and saying you're not intrested and you just want to stay friends!! Sure of course your a girl, they are masters at that!!

cantdecide

GiftofGab wrote: »

Ah now...i disagree....if im not interested then I wouldn't waste anybodies time in replying back to them. There's no point in leading someone on then turning around and saying you're not intrested and you just want to stay friends!! Sure of course your a girl, they are masters at that!!

I'm being serious- Mine and most guys egos are not that fragile and we don't expect every girl to fall at our feet. I'd rather one of the 1000s of lame and tranparent excuses available. Even to be told F-O is preferrable.

It's the being left out in the cold that hurts and there's no harm with chatting with interesting people even if they aren't for you. Not being good enough to get a poxy reply makes me feel humiliated for trying in the first place. You can talk to perfect strangers here so what's the difference???