I can't cum when having sex

LegacyUser

hey i've been with my girlfriend a while(over a year), but when we have sex i cant cum. i like it to go "deep" but it hurts her when i do. i can go the full way in slowly but its does'nt feel as good. i can cum when recieving oral and handjobs.


is this normal? i'm 19 and i've only had sex once with 1 other women but i didnt cum at the time because it was my first time. im really worried she thinks its because i dont like, which is'nt the case.


thanks

Kevster

Firstly, reassure her that this problem in no way is an indication that you don't like her (Communication is key in relationships). Anyway, are you sure that it's not nerves that is causing this? If not, then perhaps you need to find a different position to have sex in.

Kevin

FibbersON

Ok so have you tried moving to a thinner condom, I know stating out i was extra safe all the time, I've since moved to the thinnest available and can cum quicker. Also maybe spend more time at foreplay to get your partner more into it.

Wibbs

Yep it could be a condom issue. I wish I was one of those guys who says it makes little or no diff. If no condom sex is a ten, then condom sex is a three on that scale for me anyway. So having an orgasm with a condom for me is rare enough. Regardless, what I do is just get my jollies in other ways and work around that.

Sam Vimes

Wibbs wrote: »

Yep it could be a condom issue. I wish I was one of those guys who says it makes little or no diff. If no condom sex is a ten, then condom sex is a three on that scale for me anyway. So having an orgasm with a condom for me is rare enough

same here

HouseHippo

Try Durex Avanti or Pleasure Max,not only are they thinner but are also designed to make sex more pleasureable for both partners.

Also try talking to your girlfriend about this maybe you could then play around with different postions,a great position for going "deep" with minimal pain to your lady would be either doggy style or try putting her legs up in the air.

Oh and the more "Wet" she is the more likely it will be good for you so try bstimulating her wit oral sex before hand. Maybe try the 69 position to get yourslef halfway there.

Good luck

Wibbs

TBH the more wet she is the less you feel as a guy, especially wearing a condom. Essentially less friction less pleasure. I wouldn't be too sure about the legs in the air position either. It allows for very deep penetration so if he's hurting her now with his thrusting, that'll make it worse. I'd be looking at shallower angles so that he can thrust to his hearts content.

cojomo2

well i think a lot of men find it difficult to cum with a condom...

would you consider talking to your misus about going on the pill?

as some1 else said, try a position that doesnt let u in too deep and then go 90..

i get more pleasure beating myself then intercoursewith a condom...

i actually remember one time i faked an orgasm because i was just gettin fed up of goin 90 with a condom on- i couldnt feel anything and it just felt like such an effort as i was getting nothing from it..

cojomo2

Wibbs wrote: »

TBH the more wet she is the less you feel as a guy, especially wearing a condom. Essentially less friction less pleasure. I wouldn't be too sure about the legs in the air position either. It allows for very deep penetration so if he's hurting her now with his thrusting, that'll make it worse. I'd be looking at shallower angles so that he can thrust to his hearts content.

have to totally dissagree with u there, the wetter the better!

Gary ITR

cojomo2 wrote: »

well i think a lot of men find it difficult to cum with a condom...

would you consider talking to your misus about going on the pill?

as some1 else said, try a position that doesnt let u in too deep and then go 90..

i get more pleasure beating myself then intercoursewith a condom...

i actually remember one time i faked an orgasm because i was just gettin fed up of goin 90 with a condom on- i couldnt feel anything and it just felt like such an effort as i was getting nothing from it..

That is awful advice to give to a 19 year old? Are you a moron?

OP The key to solving this problem is to not stress about it. You need to relax into it and not worry about it. Try different things like sensual massage and plenty of foreplay, get the both of you very excited and turned on. Then just go with the flow. Also do try different brands of condom and see which suits you best

cojomo2

Unred0987654321 wrote: »

hey i've been with my girlfriend a while(over a year), but when we have sex i cant cum. i like it to go "deep" but it hurts her when i do. i can go the full way in slowly but its does'nt feel as good. i can cum when recieving oral and handjobs.


is this normal? i'm 19 and i've only had sex once with 1 other women but i didnt cum at the time because it was my first time. im really worried she thinks its because i dont like, which is'nt the case.


thanks

try this:

take a spooning position ..so she is lying on her side with her back to you, enter her from behind, holding her right leg up a bit with ur right arm if u wish (after plenty of foreplay ofcourse) , and get her to spit on her hand and massage ur balls as ur penetrating her...i bet this will help, the balls are so overlooked by many women!

sorry if that was too graphic..

ohh and talk dirty to her while doing it...u may fell silly at first but once u get the hang of it its great!and encourage her to do the same...best way is for you to take the lead role, once she gets turned on by it she will respond!

Wibbs

K-Jet just because you don't agree with another poster, calling them a moron is not on and against the charter of this forum. Attack the post not the poster. Only warning. Next time it's a ban.

cojomo2

K-Jet wrote: »

That is awful advice to give to a 19 year old? Are you a moron?

OP The key to solving this problem is to not stress about it. You need to relax into it and not worry about it. Try different things like sensual massage and plenty of foreplay, get the both of you very excited and turned on. Then just go with the flow. Also do try different brands of condom and see which suits you best

No, I'm not a moron. He hasnt just met the girl, he has been wither over a year and hes is nearly 20...

The first time my 1st proper girlfriend went on the pill was when i was 19(so was she) and we were going out a year.,, whats wrong with this? as long as neither of them have had possible exposure to an sti( and if so, then both can get checked out before this step)

regards pregnancy, the pill alone (if taken properly) is more effective then the condom alone...

LegacyUser

I'd still use both pill and condoms TBH. I don't want any chance surprises I wonder does your girlfriend cum before you do? My ex always came before I did, I would usually take much longer, so, she would cum then we would take a rest and hold each other then turn over have another go and either one or both of us would cum... try putting a small drop of extra lube in your condom also, see if it makes any difference. I've heard that has worked for some.

Insect Overlord

Unregistered wrote: »

I'd still use both pill and condoms TBH. I don't want any chance surprises I wonder does your girlfriend cum before you do? My ex always came before I did, I would usually take much longer, so, she would cum then we would take a rest and hold each other then turn over have another go and either one or both of us would cum...

Bingo.
Two great pieces of advice here.

LegacyUser

i agree with the guy who mentioned 3/10 on the condoms. there is no feeling at all, i understand why people use them but i only wish a woman could have a similiar experience. its like tying your shoelaces with gloves on... its different, awkward and requires more effort! doubling up with the pill is over anxious suppression of the whole thing, thats a personal opinion.

the spooning is a fantastic idea!