Puberty, Angst, Rebellion, Social Development and You

JC 2K3

So what were/are you teenage years like? How do they compare to your childhood and how do they compare to now (if applicable!)? At the age of 13 did the hormones kick in and turn you into a typical angsty, rebellious adolescent or were you a calmer, more rule-abiding young person? And during this time, how did you develop socially? Did you fit in or did you feel you were a bit of an outcast?


Personally, although puberty would have started at 12/13, I don't think angst set in until about 14/15. I was never much of a rebel, although by the age of 15 my music taste and general outlook on life was developing radically differently to anyone else I knew. My childhood would have been more carefree, and I found my shyness started to affect me negatively during my teen years. Didn't really like too many people apart from close friends at 14/15. At 16 I came out of my shell quite a bit. Up until then I had been very rule abiding and respectful of authority. I got a new group of friends and got a girlfriend. Started going to parties and drinking occasionally too. 16 was an exciting age for me. I became less shy and started to look upon others with less disdain. By 17/18 I was tired of it all though and really just wanted to get out of school. Was a bit disillusioned with life, as I had been back at 14/15, but was more bored of the people around me than scornful. Did well in my LC and went to college, which was a new, wonderful experience, and still is. At 19 I'm in second year and enjoying it, although I don't really feel like an adult yet. I'm still quite angsty from time to time, and don't feel I've fully "found myself" yet. I feel I'm still maturing and developing socially in many respects, and wouldn't really feel comfortable describing myself as an adult just yet.


What about you guys?

n1ck

Not gonna write about myself but you're only in second year of college, college is the biggest development stage for anyone, at least it was in my case.

KnifeWRENCH

For me puberty was fairly uneventful - it just sort of happened. My biggest fear was probably having to start shaving!

I never went through any rebellious phase. I guess the fact that I get on well with my parents (my Mam in particular) was part of the reason - I never had any reason to rebel.

When I entered into secondary school I was afraid of being bullied relentlessly because I was always a fairly quiet person and the school I was going to had a reputation for being a bit rough. Thankfully that didn't transpire and I did make a few good friends there. I came out of my shell a little bit but I often made hasty retreats back into it.

I got really sick of school around 3rd Year; probably the worst years of my teens were when I was doing my Junior Cert. I skipped TY because I wanted to get to college as fast as possible. 5th and 6th Year were ok - made a few new friends and did well in my Leaving Cert.

College has been a big let down though for me though and I probably have more angst now than I did when I was in my mid teens. My biggest problem is that I seem to be getting more and more unsociable as I get older. I barely ever talk to my friends from secondary school, and I don't like going on nights out in college. The whole drinking scene has never appealed to me, and I hate being the only sober person on a night out so as a result I just don't go out anymore.

I don't think of myself as being fully matured and definitely wouldn't call myself an adult. There's something really scary about being called an adult and oftentimes I just wish I could go back to being a kid where I had no responsibilities and could rely on my parents for everything.

JC 2K3

n1ck wrote: »

Not gonna write about myself but you're only in second year of college, college is the biggest development stage for anyone, at least it was in my case.

Yeah, college has seemed to be the biggest development stage in my life so far all right, but I wonder if others are the same, which is part of the reason for the topic.

tolosenc

Me, I never became very rebellious. Was very, very quiet until I was 16ish, then I changed the people I hung out with at the start of 5th year and came out of my shell a bit. I've suffered with depression a bit, which has never helped me socially, or self-confidence wise. I took the opportunity to somewhat re-invent myself once I hit college, and have really enjoyed my year and a half so far. I'm far more outgoing than I actually am when it comes to college events.

I grew out of the whole "everyone should respect everyone else and we'll all live in peace and harmony" phase quite early, and even as recently as last year I had a radical shift in my political beliefs, and attitudes to other social issues.

Fad

Angstyness on my part was more the result of bullying, which led to some pretty serious depression during 3rd year (Which was exacerbated by death in the family which didnt bother me, but it changed my families behavior for quite a while)(This also led to my athiesm). So I didnt really like being me until half way through 4th year. But ever since then life has generally been positive, theres been a few downhill bits but generally I'm happy(Something I never thought I'd say).

I think what is generally described as angsty music doesnt appeal to me because its angsty, it appeals to me when its well written and fun to listen to, fun music has distortion (Dont bother replying to that point about distortion, it wont be funny:pac:)

Stev_o

Bah iv always been lucky in the sense my mind will concentrate on one thing specifically and stay on that till its completed. In 1st year i spent the whole summer training for swimming getting up at 8 and heading to pool to train.

2nd year i think i started getting into guitar and that took alot of my time and then the all the usual stuff. 3rd year was a mix of all sorts really girls,music training twas all good. 5th year was completely devoted to rugby and revolved around it. This year im trying to convince my mind to concentrate on study and gym which is going pretty damn well.

eVeNtInE

This post has been deleted.

JC 2K3

square_igloo wrote: »

College has been a big let down though for me though and I probably have more angst now than I did when I was in my mid teens. My biggest problem is that I seem to be getting more and more unsociable as I get older. I barely ever talk to my friends from secondary school, and I don't like going on nights out in college. The whole drinking scene has never appealed to me, and I hate being the only sober person on a night out so as a result I just don't go out anymore.

There's more to a college social life than nights out drinking. It can be hard to motivate yourself to get involved in things, but I'd recommend you open your eyes and try something new like a sport or society activity. I was great for it in first year; got involved in Basketball, debating and a few other random things like juggling. This year I often feel I waste a lot of time doing nothing when I could be participating in society stuff, but then again there is college work to be done also.

Fad wrote: »

Angstyness on my part was more the result of bullying, which led to some pretty serious depression during 3rd year

This is possibly true for me too. Although if I were to describe it as bullying it'd be very indirect bullying, probably more accurate to say my friends at the time didn't really relate to me very well.

eVeNtInE wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Part of me wishes I'd known about CTYI when I was younger. Although at the same time, perhaps had I attended I wouldn't be "me" now, and I think I like who I am right now. Knowing a lot of people who attended it and hearing them lauding it can occasionally make one quite jealous, however.

eVeNtInE

This post has been deleted.

JC 2K3

Oh not at all. It's just one of those "what if" things for me (sometimes). By all accounts it seems to have been a life changing experience for a lot of people.

KnifeWRENCH

Yeah I never heard about CTYI when I was younger either and I think I could have done it given the oppurtunity.
Then again, the main reason I did well at school is because I have a very good memory and could regurgitate a load of notes, which is pretty much all that's required for some JC/LC subjects. Since starting college and actually having to use my brain, I've realised I'm not as smart as I thought I was.

Piste

I had my angsty/rebellious stage when I was 7/8, and a little bit when I was about 11, but I mellowed out loads since then. I figured there was no point in overtly rebelling while a teenager- my parents hld all the cards, why just slot myself into a stereotype? So I pretty much ot my own way by lying about where I was/who I was with and so I was able to pretty much do what I wanted. Now I can tell the truth and my parents are grand with it, it wouldn't feel right now lying to them constantly!

Puberty was grand, mildly surprising but not very. I was a little earlier than some of the girls in my class in primary school which developed from giggling at my bra in 5th class to coming over to my side to slag the girls with no tits in 6th class. (Kids can be delightfully cruel!)

In 1st year I loved it, I loved being out of a small primary-school class and into a big year, I got to know as many people as possible and got involved in everything.

In the summer of first year I made a load of friends outside school, many I'm still friends with now. Some of these friends were 2/3 years older then me so in the following years I ended up doing things/going places a lot of my in-school friends hadn't started yet. I think 2nd year was my favourite year of them all, I wa doing well in school and had nice friends in my year, I found the people I'd got to know during the summer really interesting and I learned a lot that year.

In second year I was a little bit more introverted cos I had sort of found my niche in school, I had my little group of friends who I was perfectly happy with. Started going to a few parties, some of which had drink at them (oh my!). Started hanging around town a lot.

In third year my group of friends sorta fell apart because one girl got sick, one got a bit stuck up and one was turning into a bit of a knack, so I ended up drifting towards another group, who are my school friends today. I think it was in third year that I dyed my hair purple. in the summer of third year I ended up meeting the guy who'd end up being my boyfriend a year later (although I didn't know it). Oh yeah and I had a boyfriend for a month or two during 3rd year. In 3rd year I started to like school less and less and was considering skipping TY, but I'm glad I didn't.

In 4th year my year was very much divided into cliques and got cliquey-er as the year went on. I stayed in my little group but also got talking to more people as I did a lot of plays/musicals and got to know people through them. My group of outside-friends started shrinking to a small core group who I'm friends with now. In 4th year my school friends went from "drinkers aren't thinkers and smokers are jokers!" to drinking whenever they good, suddenly parties became more fun. I started hanging out with the guy I'd met in the Summer of 3rd year more towards the end of 4th year and we quickly became best friends and spent a lot of the Summer together.

5th year was good, at the start of it my bezzie mate and I started going out. My parents were way more lenient so I could go out without being interrogated. Not much to say about 5th year but that really!

6th year is still happening, it's fine so far. Parents have chilled out immensley, I can now to go anyone's house without them ringing to check I'm actually there, and I can go out to town if I lock up and let them knw when I'm home. I'm a bit bored of school now, just want to be out in college!

Ack this is really long, sorry to bore you all with my life story!

JC 2K3

Heh, it's not boring, Piste. Summaries of people's lives are always interesting, hence the topic

tolosenc

Piste wrote: »

I'm a bit bored of school now, just want to be out in college

As fun as the Leaving Cert is (;)), don't go wishing it away. It's only a couple of weeks after it's all over that it really hits you as to how much you'll miss it. I'd love to go back and have just one day with all the lads n' lasses, havin the craic with the teachers.

JC 2K3

While I wouldn't mind reliving my teenage years, and certainly would like to be able to do things differently during my time at school, I wouldn't say that since I've left I've ever missed it, or wanted to go back as such. For me, college was a new beginning, an escape from something that had grown stale.

john concannon

4th year and getting the same stupid lecture from the parents :"4th year is the most important year and similar bull****"

1st years are so fat and small this year too.

Nightwish

I always had very low self esteem as a teenager. I was bullied in both primary and secondary school. It was so bad in second year of secondary school, my parents wanted to take me out of the school altogether. I couldnt face being "the new girl" in another school so I stuck with it.

I never got rebellious or anything as I was the eldest, and therefore always the quiet one who did as they were told (my sister had serious Middle Child Syndrome however!). I was incredibly angsty and moody, as I was introverted and lonely from the bullying I was getting at the hands of so called friends. In 3rd year I met a guy and we ended up going out for almost 7 years. He was my saviour at the time. My self esteem lifted and it was great to have someone to trust.

When I went to college things went downhill rapidly. I never really had my heart in what I was studying, and it was a male dominated course (and campus). I had 2 close female friends who dropped out after 1st year and I ended up very depressed and lonely in a large city. I found it very difficult to make friends and ended up being so depressed I needed a year out to go on medication.

Now I'm finished college, but I'm still quite untrusting of others, but I'm quite content with my life at the moment.

DenMan

I was bullied as a teenager and had very low self esteem. The thing is I destroyed the bullies who bullied me. I would not allow their tormenting to get to me and the more they did the more confused and annoyed they got. Eventually they gave up. I was told they feared me because of my ability to remain on my own and also intereract with some people. I had/have friends and they understood me. Bullies can only live off the fear they feed off their victims and I would never give it to them.

I am the eldest in my family and am considered to be quiet (in the family household). Outside I am anything but. I met a girl (from Spain) who saved me and as a result I became more outgoing.

Now I am back in College and loving it. I can concentrate on the things I love (film, tv, music). I love learning to read music and am working on learning the keyboard and composing music, things I would have never have done a few years ago.

Like what Nightwish said you can become lonely, depressed and isolated in a big city and initially I was like that. Music and like minded people saved my soul and helped mould me into the person I am.

Thanks for reading.

Den

highlydebased

Angst...lots of it

I hit puberty probably in 6th class, which was much earlier than any of my friends. It was difficult...not knowing really what was going on; not knowing why I felt such ways I did. 1st year in secondary was OK, had my first "girlfriend"- My parents (well my Mam really) was a bit paranoid and would never let me go out anywhere with her so I was left heartbroken- and as a result to this day (6 years later) I am still incredibly shy with most girls (Unfortunately!). Third year was pretty good, despite the Junior Cert. Had some good laughs, and some drama too....

TY (last year) had the time of my life, miss it so much, got to really know people I thought I knew but didnt know at all.

5th year now, pretty depressing with the amount of ****e we have to do, and the "political" division between a good few people in the year, one or two people have strayed away from me and the rest of the guys I hang around with, so hence had a pretty ****ty Christmas

Oh well!

Oisinjm

I'm 16 in transition year, but life is gooood . Im good at sports so that helps a lot, Senior Cup starts soon so that'll be good, I won't start but Im hoping to make the bench. Never been rebellious, obviously I do a bit of drinking etc. but thats to be expected. Schools grand, don't do anything in fourth year but have a laugh.

Not looking forward to fifth year and leaving cert though

Acacia

I don't know if I'm still a teenager (I'm 19) or going through some weird transitional phase into *gulp* adulthood.

In any case, my teenage years were both the best and worst of my life (if I include from the ages of 11 to now). When I was 11/12 , I just did not fit in in school. I had very few close friends, and I was pre-occupied about bulls1t like being popular and having a boyfriend and the right clothes and all the rest of it. I was very ''nobody understands me''- I was introverted, preferred reading to talking about make-up and hair straighteners, like the rest of the girls in my class. I was also a geek/nerd/ whatever you want to call it, and pretty obsessive about school work.

When I went to secondary school, things improved. It probably sounds weird but music, particularly metal/punk/ rock really spoke to me. I started getting really into it around this time, and took up some instruments. I was still compulsive about getting schoolwork done perfectly, though this was more of a blessing than a curse by the time the JC and LC came around! Socially, I had more friends than before, who were on my wavelength. I still had a very small, close group of 'real' friends but I felt I could talk/hang out with most people in my year, on school breaks or whatever.

I was in two minds about leaving school. On one hand, I couldn't wait to get out and see the world, etc. On the other hand, I didn't want to leave the familiarity behind. Now I'm nearly finished college, I feel the same way again!

I'm still 'angsty' about stuff, but on much less personal level. That is, I'd be more likely to complain about social or political problems, than about how such-and-such a guy doesn't fancy me. But I think that's probably due to coming out my shell more in college.

Well, that's my (boring) life story, anyway.:D

I've a somewhat rational phobia (contradiction) of posting personal information on the internet, so I can't see myself going into as much detail as previous posters!

My teenage years are honestly all a blur to me, I can't differentiate between various ages, so in retrospect it all seems like one continuous period. I used to miss a lot of school out of sheer laziness, hence, my reason for repeating. I never liked school, I never liked what it had to teach me; I preferred staying at home and learning about things that interested me. I can't say I was ever bullied, so I can't comment on anyone who has had that experience.

Angst is something I've never had the misfortune of suffering from. I was always pretty relaxed, never too tense or stressed. I can't remember any times where hormones affected me. So I guess my transition from youth into adolescence was a smooth one.

Now, at the ripe old age of 19, looking back at my youth, it wasn't so bad. It had its ups and its downs, which is normal I guess. But if I could choose to be 7 or 14 again, I'd pick 7. For me, youth is the best time of your life; so in that respect childhood was better, for me, than my teenage years.

Anyway I think that's enough mumbling and nonsense from me!

Davidius

I don't remember ever feeling particularly angsty/rebellious over the last few years. Never really suffered self esteem issues as I always remember thinking I was a pretty cool guy and doesn't afraid of anything! I am however the least sociable I've ever been at the moment.

I was never very good at getting on with people. Part of that may have to do with the fact that I'm a twin and didn't really see any need to make friends when I was in primary school. I very much get the impression that people thought of me as odd.

By 6th class there was a good group of people who I was sort-of friends with but they were much more my brother's friends than mine. The summer before 1st year involved some socialising but it was still very meh.

My parents pressured me into going to a different school than all of my sort-of friends because of the bad experiences my siblings had there. I didn't want to go but they really we're pricks about the whole thing :pac:. Upon review I wouldn't have gotten on any better regardless of where I went.

Not being very outgoing I didn't really make any friends in secondary school. I'm very quiet so I got bullied a lot in Junior Cycle and some people still try it on now in 6th year.
People have always been generally mean toward me for whatever reason. Some seem to have a warped view of my personality seeing as I rarely socialise.

Nowadays I just don't socialise. I'm not very good at it. I haven't had enough practice actually speaking to people. I'm terrible at making conversation. And as bad as this sounds, I just find most people really boring. I just can't bring myself to give a crap about music or the non-life changing events in others' lives. I'm fully aware that I am myself a very boring person.

I'm also probably correct in thinking that people don't find my lack of physical appeal to be a good quality. Not talking about my actual face as I believe myself to be average enough looking. I don't think people like the fact that my jumper is covered in dinner stains. Which is madness, the jumper still works fine with dried tomato sauce! Everybody but me is crazy.

Suppose the great part about being a social retard is that peer pressure is ineffective. Stupid peers and their pascals.

As for puberty, I was slightly late with that and have shown myself to grow slower than everybody else. Only shaved once which was only a couple of months back. Still I can always take pride in my voice breaking before most people I know's. :pac:

I think this whole slow growth thing is mainly down to my extraterrestrial origins. I was born on the planet not-a-rip-off-of-Krypton. A planet with a green sun. One day everybody decided to blow up and they sent me down here for whatever reason. I also somehow have super powers now which has nothing to do with the sun.

My teenage years were and still are instrumental in the process that turned me into the super hero you know as Davidius. I have a very good understanding of right and wrong which allows me to use my abilities to make my world a better place.

The first part of my Better Place plan is to kill everybody! Only then will the world truly be free from the threat of nuclear war. The only cost is the lives of over 6 billion people.


tl;dr?

I'm cool.

cocoa

whoa, deep thread in C & H, I like it

I'm not really well qualified to comment on my teenage years because I simply don't remember much past a year ago. Hell, yesterday is a bit fuzzy... But I'll try anyway...

Can't say that I know what time puberty hit exactly, I guess prob late, more towards 2nd year than 6th class... Also can't say I ever felt the hormones were really messing me up although in hindsight that may have been the case.

I've always been given to introspection and deep though, staring into space. The worst part is when someone would ask me what I was thinking and I either couldn't or wouldn't tell them.

I can't say i really enjoyed most of secondary school, it was really just a load of ups and downs, except for 5th and 6th year when I really got comfortable in my surroundings and really just had fun, the work was fine, the friends were good and the parties were fun. I never really lost my outlook and generally dislike for most of my year, although I think i grew to accept it a bit more.

I'm 19 now, been living in college during term for a year and a half and I love it, new friends, old friends and interesting work. I still think I'm developing, but i'm also really happy with where I am now, looking forward to turning twenteen... =P

Is it just me or are there a lot of self branded outcasts on C & H? not pointing any fingers or anything and I'll raise my own hand for most of my secondary school life, just curious about our demographic...

JC 2K3

cocoa wrote: »

Is it just me or are there a lot of self branded outcasts on C & H? not pointing any fingers or anything and I'll raise my own hand for most of my secondary school life, just curious about our demographic...

I was wondering the same thing... When I started this thread I was expecting a bit more variety in people's outlooks and experiences...

Then again, if you look at The Ladies Lounge for example, you'll find most of them have no interest in what would be considered normal "girly" things.

Despite the proliferation of broadband, regular internet forum users generally fit into a stereotype, it seems.

cocoa

JC 2K3 wrote: »

I was wondering the same thing... When I started this thread I was expecting a bit more variety in people's outlooks and experiences...

Then again, if you look at The Ladies Lounge for example, you'll find most of them have no interest in what would be considered normal "girly" things.

Despite the proliferation of broadband, regular internet forum users generally fit into a stereotype, it seems.

hmm, Idunno, maybe it's more a state of mind than anything else, and maybe an inherent part of puberty. Hate to say it but the classic angsty 'no one understands me, I'm all alone' idea comes to mind... possibly an idea that everyone goes through at some stage.

On the other hand... poor internet, no normal friends... I reckon we're more interesting though

Piste

I feel like a boards outcast, I seem to be one of the few who've had the craic as a teenager, and one of the few girls in TLL who are in to regular girly things.

Acacia

Piste wrote: »

I feel like a boards outcast, I seem to be one of the few who've had the craic as a teenager, and one of the few girls in TLL who are in to regular girly things.

Fear not, I did / do have fun as a teenager and I like girly stuff too.

Timans

Acacia wrote: »

Fear not, I did / do have fun as a teenager and I like girly stuff too.

Make me dinner then.

It wasn't me!

Was a quiet kid when I came to second level, very quiet. Not much in the way of social skills. After first year, went to CTYI at the advice of my guidance counsellor. It brought me out of my shell and taught me a lot about how to interact with people, and for that I appreciate it. I went there for four summers and enjoyed it a lot, basically organised angst at authority figures for nerdy teenagers. In retrospect, I have very mixed feelings about the place and its effects on me and others I saw there, but in any case, I was there. After that, in school, I was still a bit useless in social terms (nerdy kids get along really well, because they all want to) but improved. I played rugby for years, until it stopped being fun and got competitive (wish I'd realised the value of pain, hard work and competition at that stage, I'd be in a better state now) and had a lot of fun with that. Gave me opportunities for a social scene and such. I was a pretty convenient child to my parents, never much hassle with drinking or smoking or anything. Had a great girlfriend I never appreciated for a couple of years until she'd had enough of me. Took a long time to come to terms with that, but there's no point trying to find a guilty party to blame when it's all your fault, hard as it may be to admit to yourself. Had a nasty episode drinking and gave up for over a year while I got my act together and tried to figure out more about myself. Currently in college, repeating first year as I didn't like my course and applied successfully for a transfer. My new sport is shooting, which I adore. It's properly soothing and endlessly challenging. The hunting side of it lets me get out and get to terms with the world and appreciate what I have around me, and I'm more satisfied than I have been in a long while. In summary, I spent my adolescence incredibly self-obsessed. I lived under the illusion, for whatever reason, that the world really did revolve around me and everyone was an NPC in my little game world where mistakes and bad choices didn't matter or affect your future. Very glad to put that learning experience behind me and move forward with my life. Looking back, I realise how much fun I had in school and how difficult it is to appreciate a time like that until you see it in glowing hindsight. Sixth year, despite all the rollercoaster lows and stupid adolescence, was the most fun I've ever had. I went to school with a really good bunch of people and that made a huge difference to my experience, and probably limited my angst somewhat.

ANarcho-Munk

JC2K3, is that a Manics reference you're alluding to in the thread title?

pepsicokeacola

nah the same as i was when i was 12.

JC 2K3

ANarcho-Munk wrote: »

JC2K3, is that a Manics reference you're alluding to in the thread title?

Nope....