advice

LegacyUser

hi
I have went through a rough time with a friend of mine, she really betrayed me and I dont know how we ended up like this.

I really doubt we can become friends again, I should have moved on by now.
It has got me low, really low and the strange thing is I dont know why I let it hurt me so. right now I feel like I lost my best friends and all alone in the world etc

I wonder if anyone has any suggestions, books to read anything

MagicMarker

We don't know what your friend has done, maybe you're overreacting? Without more details we can't really help much.

Trinity

Depends what she did really. The key is communication at the end of the day.

I still miss a good friend of mine and to this day i dont know what i did wrong. She just stopped contacting me and when i finally managed to get through to her via email, she was really really nasty but still didnt say what was wrong.

If you feel your friendship is over you jsut have to move on and make new friends if possible. Real friendships are hard to come by these days, are you sure it cannot be sorted?

MysticalSoul

You say you feel you should have moved on by now, how long ago was it? Even calling this person a friend is a way of holding on, maybe what may help is a former friend, or would you like to try and be friends again?

LegacyUser

well its a long and never ending story.

well we work together in something we both love, its voluntary work, we both got very different full time jobs.
And she is really good at hers , I am doing well in mine. But we have I mean had a brillant brillant close relantionship, got on like a house on fire. We worked as a team.

About a year ago , she became very distant, locked me out of what ever was going on.Then she blanked me, and started to stop talking to me even about the the club, that cut up so much.

okay I told her how I felt, okay I around that time I went through a huge health thing, maybe that freaked her out I dont know but she couldnt be there for me.

I was honest with her, told her how I felt about everything.
so she has the the most painful nack of not listening and making every thing my fault.

Her boyfriend god bless thought he should get in on it and tell me I was a bully and arrogent gril

Nevyn

Sounds like you haven't moved on cos you don't know why things went they way they did.

You need to find a way to get that closure be it in letting go and accepting you won't ever know. What happened with your relationship is prolly one part of a whole heap of other things which were going on at the time and you are not going to be able to figure it all out.

Even if you got in touch with her she may not wish to talk about it so you still won't be able to figure it out. When insanity abounds people do insane things to try and keep sane and it can tear people and relationships apart. When the insanity abates ( by what ever means by walking away or severing ties or the rough time ends ) you miss them but the damage is done.

I have been missing the relationship I had with my bestfriend for the last year.
She started to have a very rough time of it and it was like I was the only one she felt she
could be angry with and it was like a changeling had took her face and place in my life.
At times it was nearly easier to believe that cos then it wasn't my best friend hurting me
and saying and doing things that made no sense what so ever.
I did all I could first for her sake and then for others but it killed the relationship.

I still miss the friendship we had before and who and how she was in my life before it all
but sometimes there just is no going back. It can be hard to grief for a friendship that is dead
when the person you had it with is still alive.

LegacyUser

It would be great to have her back as a friend.

I miss her. miss her a lot.
If I did something wrong that drove her away.

Trinity

Unregistered wrote: »

It would be great to have her back as a friend.

I miss her. miss her a lot.
If I did something wrong that drove her away.

Could you write to her? Tell her these things.

Sometimes losing a friend is on a par with losing a partner. We grow so close and share so much. Good times, bad times, laughter, tears. Even love each other in a friends way.

Unfortunately if the other person does not wish to continue the friendship, there is not much you can do. It can hurt as much as a break up and you have to take it as such as do what you have to in order to move on.

The hardest part is not knowing why.

LegacyUser

Trinity1 wrote: »

Could you write to her? Tell her these things.

Sometimes losing a friend is on a par with losing a partner. We grow so close and share so much. Good times, bad times, laughter, tears. Even love each other in a friends way.

Unfortunately if the other person does not wish to continue the friendship, there is not much you can do. It can hurt as much as a break up and you have to take it as such as do what you have to in order to move on.

The hardest part is not knowing why.

I wrote to her say all I could at the time.
She didnt even acknowledge she got it, I asked in person if she got it , only then did she say she got it and nothing more.

I cant help feeling really annoyed that I am pouring my heart out and writing how I feel and she does ever see how hard it is and she is safe emotional as she doesnt tell my how she feels.

I told her I want to her friend and I care about her.

Its a lot harder as we both still need to work together

R.D. aka MR.D

i've been through this also and had to see the person everyday but i'm completly over it now.
it took about 6months to a year of being really down about it but now it doesn't bother me. i've realised that part of life is change and change in relationships is a big part of this.

in my opinion the best thing to do is try to forget about it and try to move on with your life. this is easier said than done and as i said it can take a long time. but eventually you'll move forward and hopefully find more fufilling friendships.

people will come in and out of your life, you will feel loss but work on making yourself happy and your life will be easier.