xmas weddings?

thermo66

hey, just back from a friends wedding just wondering what y'all think of xmas weddings? Tbh i wasn't pushed about going due to bein broke and wrecked after last few days and nights. however i got my ass in gear and went and while it was lovely i was looking forward to getting home:o

i know its a personal choice etc but the friends i was with were all feeling the same as me . is it a bad time to have a wedding?

Also what do you think is an acceptable amont of money to give as presy if your just going to evening part?

Ruu_Old

Whatever you can afford. €50-100 ish to cover the price of the meal and a bit extra or something. My wife and I went to my brothers and gave him €150, he wouldn't want us spending beyond our means.

themadchef

I think if you plan your wedding for Christmas time and you get terrible weather, you accept it. If you plan your wedding for July / August you feel a little disappointed with the Irish rain. Today for example a neighbour of mine is getting married. It's the most beautiful morning. She will be thrilled as it's so unexpected this time of year.

Some people get married at Christmas because alot of family come home from abroad at Christmas time, and it saves them two trips during the year. Also people will be on holiday so you're not asking them to take an extra day off for your big day.

There are 410 guests at that wedding today will be one hell of a doo. I think if you're going to the whole day as a couple €100 each. For the evening part... €20/€25 each?.
There's no written rule.

A man once told me he'd rather see a letter from the tax man than a wedding invitation, by the time you have suits and a dress sorted, hotel stay, present, drinking money etc. It can be the guts of a grand :eek:

Quazzie

Tomorrow is my first anniversary (and my newborns's christening). We chose to have our wedding over the xmas break because between Xmas and new years there is very little going on and people are usually bored, so we decided to have it then. Plus traditionally everyone is off work, all our families are home already so less extra expense for them. There is also some financial reasons. The reception was at a reduced rate because it was xmas, and certain things were cheaper, for example the church flowers were already in place and it cost less to just refresh a few of them.

I also felt everyone was already in the party mood so imo it seemed like the reception got going really quick.

thermo66

themadchef wrote: »

I think if you plan your wedding for Christmas time and you get terrible weather, you accept it. If you plan your wedding for July / August you feel a little disappointed with the Irish rain. Today for example a neighbour of mine is getting married. It's the most beautiful morning. She will be thrilled as it's so unexpected this time of year.

Some people get married at Christmas because alot of family come home from abroad at Christmas time, and it saves them two trips during the year. Also people will be on holiday so you're not asking them to take an extra day off for your big day.

There are 410 guests at that wedding today will be one hell of a doo. I think if you're going to the whole day as a couple €100 each. For the evening part... €20/€25 each?.
There's no written rule.

A man once told me he'd rather see a letter from the tax man than a wedding invitation, by the time you have suits and a dress sorted, hotel stay, present, drinking money etc. It can be the guts of a grand :eek:

Jeez 410 guest! didn't even think there was a venue to fit that many in ireland!! There's some really valid points for having an xmas wedding i must admit however i don't think it would be for me , i can imagine my family they'd be stressed out all xmas!

The lady getting married yesterday said she just had dinner as normal xmas day and there were no presents or anything , not sure why i presume financial reasons?

CathyMoran

We are married two years tomorrow - we had a tiny wedding (15 people), informal atire and did not care about gifts - we just wanted to be married and did not want to wait any longer (are together over 11 years). The only problem I had was that I could not eat as much at Christmas as I wanted to fit into my dress and our wedding anniversary and Christmas get combined but it was a nice experience. I would not mind going to a Christmas wedding as it is a magical time of the year as is and most people are in good form.

ShooterSF

Ya baxtards ya's. Used to hate xmas weddings as a barman, ruined any chance of a few days off over the christmas.
Also because of how deliveries are done at that time of year you can't get anything between St. Stephen's day and New Year so you're ordering stock for 2 of the busiest nights of the year and stock on top of that for weddings in between.
Grr

rosarosa

thermo66 wrote: »

is it a bad time to have a wedding?

Also what do you think is an acceptable amont of money to give as presy if your just going to evening part?

I have been to a few weddings around this time..I think it's alright as I think some of that goodwill is still lingering from the whole season and it's nice to extend it towards a wedding. Also, I've noticed there's less trouble and stress with christmas weddings, maybe cos everyone is nicer this time of year? I don't know, just my observations.....

But for the money thing...........this really had me shocked when I first got here..let me not lie, there's a small part of me that still wonders why people should give money towards a day that they've been invited to to celebrate your marriage? Maybe I'm still suffering from a little culture shock? I don't know, but with non-Irish weddings I have attended, giving money on the day of the wedding is considered rude, and what's more, it's pretty expensive if you factor in hotels, dresses, babysitters, etc,...What would happen is that if you want to give money, you give it when people first announce they're getting married, then they can put that to the cost of the wedding, or you can give a present for the new home they'll have.

I mean, what happens if you're broke at the time of the wedding? Can you get away with giving an IOU?:)

I would like to find out a little more, I've never really asked anyone.....

Terry

**** weddings.
The last one I went to cost me €800.

Zaph

Always thought that getting married around Christmas was pretty inconsiderate myself. Sure it might be cheaper for the couple, but people have enough expenses in December without adding a wedding to it all, and the cost of attending one seems to be going up massively every year.

Baybay

thermo66 wrote: »

Also what do you think is an acceptable amont of money to give as presy if your just going to evening part?

Nothing!!

Imo, that's what evening invitations deserve.
I don't acknowledge them as my real friends wouldn't send me one & I certainly wouldn't go.

If you're not good enough to go to the marriage, why would they need you anywhere else? For your ability to boost their present collection?

biko

Just back from a wedding incl dinner and party today. We gave €200 as a couple and on top of that is expenses for hotel and petrol (about 500 miles) and of course dress/shoes and such for herself... It's great being a man and just re-use the same old suit for every occasion

Piste

My parents got married on the 22nd of December and my mum always complains that it was so close to Christmas, but it was only a small thing anyway.

Senna

New years eve wedding seem all the rage now (maybe always have been).
I know a couple that have there's booked for 2011, they wanted 2009 or 2010 but both were booked up in the 4/5 local hotels.

I can see the point if the wedding couple has family abroad and they'd be home of xmas anyway.
But i just hate weddings, i usually have great nights at them, but i just dread the though of all that bollóx.

Pherekydes

Zaph wrote: »

Always thought that getting married around Christmas was pretty inconsiderate myself.

LOL. Presumably they're getting married for themselves, not others (except perhaps their children).

Zaph

Pherekydes wrote: »

LOL. Presumably they're getting married for themselves, not others (except perhaps their children).

Of course they are, but most weddings would have upwards of 80-100 guests, so that's a lot of people being put to extra expense over Christmas just because you want them there to celebrate your day.

thermo66

Baybay wrote: »

Nothing!!

Imo, that's what evening invitations deserve.
I don't acknowledge them as my real friends wouldn't send me one & I certainly wouldn't go.

If you're not good enough to go to the marriage, why would they need you anywhere else? For your ability to boost their present collection?

Well i disagree with that!! You can't invite everyone to the full day you have to be reasonable. I wouldn't expect to be asked to the full thing as i've never met the groom and see the bride once in a blue moon but it was nice to be thought of. If i was asked to the whole day i would have felt worse!

Pherekydes

Zaph wrote: »

Of course they are, but most weddings would have upwards of 80-100 guests, so that's a lot of people being put to extra expense over Christmas just because you want them there to celebrate your day.

I'm sure they could poll the guests and find out when they'd like the wedding to be. :rolleyes:

"What would suit you, dear? Will the summer do?"

"Oh, no, we have the expense of a holiday."

fryup

just out of interest......would it be possible to get married on xmas day....even in a registry office??

Eoin

fryup wrote: »

just out of interest......would it be possible to get married on xmas day....even in a registry office??

You would be doing well to find a registry office / church and a venue that would accommodate you on Christmas day. Though, if you can get the ceremony done in a hotel, I suppose that might be a little easier as it's one venue less to worry about.

rosarosa wrote:

But for the money thing...........this really had me shocked when I first got here..let me not lie, there's a small part of me that still wonders why people should give money towards a day that they've been invited to to celebrate your marriage? Maybe I'm still suffering from a little culture shock? I don't know, but with non-Irish weddings I have attended, giving money on the day of the wedding is considered rude, and what's more, it's pretty expensive if you factor in hotels, dresses, babysitters, etc,...What would happen is that if you want to give money, you give it when people first announce they're getting married, then they can put that to the cost of the wedding, or you can give a present for the new home they'll have.

Giving cash isn't really that unusual in Britain either - I think a lot of it is because these days the couple getting married usually have had a house for a year or two at least. With the consumerism frenzy of the celtic tiger, people don't wait until they can afford to furnish it, but just get further in debt to do so immediately.

I know I'd rather give cash than us having to go shopping for something that they may already have / may not like / may not have room for.

muffinob1

these messages are mad!! I'm getting married next new year and it's def not cheaper all bands have doubled their prices and the food is more expensive also as they know they'll make money in the hotel at that time anyway. As for money I don't really care about it (although the couple that gave 150e to a brother that was seriously a bit mean!!) I want my friends and family there and would rather apersonal present than money and would rather the person there than them not to come cos they'd no present.

A lot of those messages were really harsh, our wedding will cost a fortune and if people don't want to come that's grand would rather that than them giving out about being there!! It's really 2 faced to go to a wedding and that night to come on a website to moan about it, stay at home if you don't want to be there, trust me it would make the bride and groom happier. As for the "not real friends bit" best of luck with the list cos iy's a nightmare and a real stress but ya can't have everyone and the afters is a compromise. Really thought some of those posts were rude and unkind, the majority of people don't marry or presents it's a bit deeper than that

Firetrap

I think if most people are honest, they're not exactly jumping up and down for joy when they get a wedding invitation. Maybe they are for some invitations but not for every one that comes in through the door. I've heard a friend refer to a wedding invitation as a bill, another called it a summons. They can be expensive things once you factor in the dress (if you're a woman), the money/present and other possible things like accommodation, baby sitter, day off work.

Baybay

thermo66 wrote: »

I wouldn't expect to be asked to the full thing as i've never met the groom and see the bride once in a blue moon

Like I said, my real friends wouldn't send me such things. Thank you for supporting my point.

thermo66

Baybay wrote: »

Like I said, my real friends wouldn't send me such things. Thank you for supporting my point.

Well then only ask your 'real' friends to your wedding, other people can ask who they want. God help any friend of yours who's hard up and can't afford to invite all their friends to the full day. Will you drop them because your so offended? Life isn't as cut and dry as that for most people. I've close friends and friends i may only see twice a year but i'm still fond of them. Like i said i wasn't at all offended to get the evening invitation , in fact it didn't even occur to me to be so. Tell me this , who would you give evening invitations to if not your friends???

drunkmonkey

speaking as a guest you couldn't pick a worse time to have a wedding, early January maybe first week is better...most people are very busy coming up to christmas, a wedding just gets in the way and to be honest I think it's quite selfish....

anniehoo

drunkmonkey wrote: »

speaking as a guest you couldn't pick a worse time to have a wedding, early January maybe first week is better...most people are very busy coming up to christmas, a wedding just gets in the way and to be honest I think it's quite selfish....

Totally disagree here! Early january?? Who has money to spend on a wedding in january?

As for "getting in the way". Whats it getting in the way of? The endless drunken cocktail sausage christmas parties with work/college friends/school friends who hate college friends/the postman...! Personally give me a happy occassion like a wedding anyday over that!

thermo66

muffinob1 wrote: »

these messages are mad!! I'm getting married next new year and it's def not cheaper all bands have doubled their prices and the food is more expensive also as they know they'll make money in the hotel at that time anyway. As for money I don't really care about it (although the couple that gave 150e to a brother that was seriously a bit mean!!) I want my friends and family there and would rather apersonal present than money and would rather the person there than them not to come cos they'd no present.

A lot of those messages were really harsh, our wedding will cost a fortune and if people don't want to come that's grand would rather that than them giving out about being there!! It's really 2 faced to go to a wedding and that night to come on a website to moan about it, stay at home if you don't want to be there, trust me it would make the bride and groom happier. As for the "not real friends bit" best of luck with the list cos iy's a nightmare and a real stress but ya can't have everyone and the afters is a compromise. Really thought some of those posts were rude and unkind, the majority of people don't marry or presents it's a bit deeper than that

Well first of all i don't think i was being two-faced, just honest and isn't that what boards is for to give your opinion or ask others what theirs is??? My point is proven by some of the rest of the posts. Haven't you ever been invited to a wedding/christening/ birthday party and just not been in the mood? We're only human after all.

And i was glad i went in the end all i'm saying is that it isn't the ideal time for a lot of people due to the expense and thats not meant to sound mean or selfish just realistic. Its nothing personal against the individuals getting married. It is a personal choice and the best of luck to you with yours.

drunkmonkey

anniehoo wrote: »

Totally disagree here! Early january?? Who has money to spend on a wedding in january?

As for "getting in the way". Whats it getting in the way of? The endless drunken cocktail sausage christmas parties with work/college friends/school friends who hate college friends/the postman...! Personally give me a happy occassion like a wedding anyday over that!

the postman works right up till christmas eve (it's a lot of peoples busiest time of year), he can't go, early January seems like a bad time but it's not, it's like one last party before everyones back to the grindstone....2nd of January would have been a good time this year....

stovelid

I went to a wedding on the 2nd January before. Hated the thought of going at first, but it ended up being a good laugh. And a good way to ease myself into January.

Baybay

thermo66 wrote: »

Well then only ask your 'real' friends to your wedding, other people can ask who they want. God help any friend of yours who's hard up and can't afford to invite all their friends to the full day. Will you drop them because your so offended? Life isn't as cut and dry as that for most people. I've close friends and friends i may only see twice a year but i'm still fond of them. Like i said i wasn't at all offended to get the evening invitation , in fact it didn't even occur to me to be so. Tell me this , who would you give evening invitations to if not your friends???

I've had my wedding. My friends were there. My acquaintances, who I'm guessing are those normally in receipt of those types of invitations, were, presumably, doing whatever it is acquaintances do when not part of the friends and family circle.

And yes, it can be that cut and dried. As the recession bites harder I believe people will have to choose more carefully between the wedding they may want and the wedding they can afford.

In not having evening invitations, along with other choices, we had the wedding we wanted, with the people we love. I hope you have the same.

thermo66

Baybay wrote: »

I've had my wedding. My friends were there. My acquaintances, who I'm guessing are those normally in receipt of those types of invitations, were, presumably, doing whatever it is acquaintances do when not part of the friends and family circle.

And yes, it can be that cut and dried. As the recession bites harder I believe people will have to choose more carefully between the wedding they may want and the wedding they can afford.

In not having evening invitations, along with other choices, we had the wedding we wanted, with the people we love. I hope you have the same.

Well what are you talking about then. You didn't even have evening invitations so i don't get your point. Most people do. Your actually the first person i heard of who didn't. I couldn't afford to invite everyone i know well to my full wedding but i'd definitely ask those i'd omitted to the afters. I don't think they'd be offended and if they were it would be their problem frankly, as i'd expect a little more common sense and understanding from them. But Different strokes for different folk!!