Safety order (split from other thread)

LegacyUser

Hi is the safety order available for fathers also as I am in an abusive relationship, wife has told me on many occasions she will get me killed. We had a verbal and she got violent and and in the heat I lost the plot and hurt her. Its totally out of my character to do that (I actually have a job which I help people),k she says that she never touched me. Before she admitted to me that she was in a prev abusive relationship (ended up in hospital for a couple of weeks) and that her father abused her, in a physical way (i.e not x). She's very manipulative and a bully she plays the weaker game all the time and has made up lies which she told her friends and our neighbours.

I'm worried about the future I've gained a lot of weight while we have been together and she throws this in my face, while she seems to think she could have any man and I know she discusses my physical appearance with her friends as I have read some of her texts, (I have suspected but needed clarification) and really my appearance is the only thing she has on me, which I find funny but after a while upsetting. She will never admit the person she is, its like shes an alcoholic but addicted to lies and causing hurt to people. I will be honest and say I should have left before things got to this but love my children so much. I'm a big girls blouse with regards to physical violence and have never been in a physical fist fight, but fully admit I have a threshold.

Sorry for the hijack but this is my story.

lilminx

Under the Domestic Violence Act, 1996, Gardai (the Irish police force) have the power to arrest and prosecute a violent family member. Under the law there are two main kinds of protection available, a safety order and a barring order.

A safety order is an order of the court which prohibits the violent person from further violence or threats of violence. It does not oblige the person to leave the family home. If the person lives apart from you it prohibits them from watching or being near your home.

A barring order is an order which requires the person to leave the family home.

To get a barring order or a safety order you must attend a court hearing. While you are waiting for the court to hear your application, the court can give you an immediate order called a protection order. The protection order has the same effect as a safety order. In exceptional circumstances the court can grant an interim barring order. This is an immediate order, requiring the violent person to leave the family home.

A safety order can last up to 5 years and a barring order up to 3 years. These orders can be renewed by applying for a further order before the previous one has expired.

For more information go to http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/problems-in-marriages-and-relationships/barring_safety_and_protection_orders/?searchterm=protection%20orders

Hope this helps.

sickpuppy32

usually the judge will give the order in his chambers and not in open court- truth is you'll be going against a system that thinks domestic violence against men doesn't exist, keep a notebook of every incident and get yourself a good solicitor, be prepared to fight dirty cause she will and expect the accusationof violence to be thrown back at you and you gettign the accusation. If you have kids, get them included in the safety order and inform social services

Nevyn

Yesyou can apply for one.
A man or woman may apply for a safety order against any man or woman they are living with.

CDfm

There is a helpline for guys with domestic violence issues and the number is available on www.amen.ie

They have open meetings in Navan each Tuesday.

The truth is that men and women can both be abusive - and the patterns of abuse are similar.

You can apply for a safety, protection and barring order in the Family Courts - this is done on an ex-parte basis. A barring order is the most serious and that sees the defendant put out of the house.

You should never respond to violence with violence and that is an absolute no-no and the courts would take a very dim view of it no matter what the provocation.

Keep an open mind - you might want your relationship to continue etc so its worthwhile talking to a close friend and I would say your GP to keep things in proportion.

Going down the court route can escalate things. Brendan Behan wrote -there is no situation that the presence of a policeman didnt make worse -and its apt here for the Family Courts.

There is no harm in contacting the Helpline for assistance and support.

Best of luck -domestic violence is not a gender issue and you should not respond in kind to violence or abuse- there are better ways,

metrovelvet

lilminx wrote: »

A safety order is an order of the court which prohibits the violent person from further violence or threats of violence. It does not oblige the person to leave the family home. If the person lives apart from you it prohibits them from watching or being near your home.

.

Aren't people prohibited by law to commit acts of violence against another? What is the difference between a safety order and the law which already exists? Are the penalties different or something? If the law didnt protect the victim how does the saafety order?