5000th post:ambivalence

El Stuntman

No, the above title doesn't refer to my sexual proclivities (I think a wife, a kid and another to arrive imminently should give me some cover here) but rather to my current state of mind regarding the game of poker. Over the last few years, I have spent a lot of time peering at pixilated images of cards flickering at me on my laptop. Sometimes I have clicked mouse buttons and virtual monies have flowed in my direction. Other times, monies have flowed away from me and towards other computer-generated images, respresenting....what exactly? People? Maybe, expect they don't talk, they don't do anything except pose questions in the form of raise, check or fold - 24/7.

Many other times, I have sat in real cardrooms and felt the snap of plastic playing cards against my fingers as I peek down, always in hopeful anticipation. I've listened to countless conversations that wouldn't be entertained by six year olds and have engaged in all manner of ridiculous prop bets with all manner of poker playing lifeforms. I've met many fine people at the felt, including many who post on this forum. I've witnessed some atrocious behaviour and I've also seen the best in people. Some of the worst people I've ever met are regular poker players. Many more are degenerate gamblers beyond recall or hope of redemption. I've won and lost pots that are more than 90% of the world's population earns in a whole year. That doesn't feel right. I love this game but I also hate it. I can fully understand why intelligent posters who I respect talk about giving it up.

I've wasted many happy hours browsing through this forum when I should have been working. I've deprived myself of sleep just for the opportunity of cleaning out drunken fish. I've been that drunken fish. I've had moments of pure exhilaration and moments of soul-crushing depression. Poker truly does test a man's character like few other pursuits. Mostly, I think my character has stood up to the battering but I think everyone who manages this trick pays a certain price in emotional distancing. After all, everyone knows you need to be a cold, cold fish to survive and thrive in this game. A human calculator and a merciless destroyer of other people's vanities and weaknesses. It's not a pleasant thing to look at a man's face after taking his stack and know that was all the money he had until his next paycheck, dole payment or whatever.

So this is why I'm ambivalent. I'm not stupid enough to say that I'm going to stop playing this game but I am going to try and keep it where it belongs in my life. Good luck to all, see you on the felt.

el S

CourierCollie

Jaysus, I think this recession is really starting to get to you. Wish I'd left reading that till tomorrow.

opr

Spreading the xmas cheer i see :P

Na but good post i always enjoy reading the stuff you write on this forum.

Opr

Moneymaker

Interesting post, very thought provoking.

Gl for 2009.

bops

El Stuntman wrote: »

...but I think everyone who manages this trick pays a certain price in emotional distancing.

this is a very important aspect/byproduct of the game which requires more attention imo

nice post el S and gl to you and your family in '09

oleras

i dont do live poker, but i can see what you are getting at. not a very nice feeling to break a man in a game of cards, financially and emotionally, more so financially if he has a problem, and like you a wife and child to support. but he would do the same to you in a heartbeat, its gambling at its worst. i have the good fortune to just play for fun,(not very well) like a lot of people here im sure, i honestly dont think i could take the beats if my family depended on me playing cards for food.

a very realistic post.

ElectraBlue

Ne'er a truer word spoken! It takes a strong wo/man to get up and walk away just one 'buy-in' down... without dipping into their wallets for another. It's horrible to see students putting two crumpled fivers and handful of coins on the felt and you have to take it, knowing if they don't win the next two pots they will lose it all to the rake anyway...

Good luck to you, junior and Mrs El'S with the new arrival! You'll have your hands full... No more time for poker!

jonnner

Great post.
For the last few years i've been playing around 20k cash game hands a month. During that time i have NEVER felt sorry for any of the fish at the table.
I dont play live but if I did and cleaned somebody out in a cash game who i felt couldnt afford to lose it I would feel terrible. Obviously i'm not doing anything wrong but I am preying on a bad player. I rather just look at a pixelated character on my screen and know nothing about them in fact I totally forget there are other people directing that character.

I think when you play alot of poker you become emotionally detached from the other players and in some ways it can effect the way you treat others in real life and your general outlook.

Ste05

Excellent post El S, I expected good things for Mr 5k and you didn't disappoint, very nicely written.

The Tourist

El Stuntman wrote: »

I think everyone who manages this trick pays a certain price in emotional distancing.

el S

Surely "emotional distancing" can be an important life lesson. Just ask a doctor, or an ambulance driver.

ollyk1

Putting into words what many of the decent ones out there feel.

Life is unfair and so is poker. It doesn't make it right.

Happy Christmas ElS.

Goodluck2me

I hope this is the first snippet of a longer article? You know it makes sense.

califano

ElectraBlue wrote: »

It's horrible to see students putting two crumpled fivers and handful of coins on the felt and you have to take it, knowing if they don't win the next two pots they will lose it all to the rake anyway...

The min buyin should be €50:D

Good luck with the new arrival El Stuntman i forgot to say this last time we met as i was too busy explaining my basketball moneyline story!.

El Stuntmans grandfather was a keen poster also. inset making his 150,000th post
http://iamyouasheisme.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/bill-webb-postman-meeting-lane-1965.jpg

tylerdurden94

El S strikes again. Genuinely good read, best of luck with the new arrival im sure you wont be out as much which is a shame.