Size problem and other issues

LegacyUser

hi, I'm male, 19, my problem is that my penis is only about 2 inches soft, just over 3 inches hard.

i started going out with an AMAZING girl from college about 10 weeks ago, we just started having sex very recently- my first time (she has had sex before and I could have slept with her a lot sooner tbh, alot of the reason I waited was cos im embarrassed about my knob size), we've done it a few times now, i told her after the first time that I had been nervous about it and she told me it didnt really matter to her because she likes me for who i am and doesnt care about that stuff...

...seems gr8 but im worried that that cant be true. her last bf I kinda know him from college, he gets loads of girls and is rumoured to be gr8 in bed, a 'ladies man' blah blah, he broke up with her to play the field but she wanted him back at the time but that was last year, she also went out with some guy in school but i dont know him. im worried that she's comparing me to these other guys and that she's not happy even tho she sez she is...

other than my knob iv alot goin for me- im tall, not bad lookin, popular etc. i actually found myself feelin guilty cos im actually a really tall guy that I was somehow misleading her into thinkin i'd be well endowed and that she's gonna regret puttin in the three months with me and then discovering that im not...

another thing thing, one of her friends kinda made a joke about me the other day that i think may have been about me being small but i cant be sure... im worried that if she's saying it to her friends she cant be happy.

also she still hangs out with the ex alot cos they're both in the same course and hav the same friends etc, he actually crashed in her place at the weekend after a class xmas party and i know i cant say anything cos i'll look jealous and like i dont trust her but im just worried that i cant fulfil her and that she's gonna get it elsewhere like with this guy...

sorry for ranting,i know its complicated, any advice appreciated. any guys reading, do u think i'm way below average or are some others the same. and any girls reading, do u think you'd be ok with this situation, you can answer me honestly i can take it

thanks

BenGunn

LittleGeneral wrote: »

He broke up with her to play the field but she wanted him back at the time

LittleGeneral wrote: »

he actually crashed in her place at the weekend after a class xmas party and i know i cant say anything cos i'll look jealous and like i dont trust her but im just worried that i cant fulfil her and that she's gonna get it elsewhere like with this guy...

Dude, leaving aside the penis issue for a minute, her having an ex who she didn't want to break up with stay over after a (presumably) drunken night out isn't cool. it doesn't look crazy or jealous not to be fine with that. were there other people there at the time?

LittleGeneral wrote: »

any guys reading, do u think i'm way below average or are some others the same

I dunno what to say to you there man, it seems to be considerably below average TBH although if she says she's fine with it that's good, but IMHO I don't think many women stick it out if the sex isn't good, how was she reacting to it (during sex)? Do you do other things for her so that she can have fun?

LegacyUser

there were other people in the house but she says he stayed on the floor in her room, she lives in college and there is no spare room, the couch isn't really designed for sleeping, i don't want to bring it up and seem jealous, she's already being understanding enough.

we haven't done anything else sexually yet, like i said we only just started that stuff and she's been really busy over the past week, iv never done oral sex or anything but i'd be willing to give it a go.

Karen_*

OP if I was mad about someone then I wouldn't care about the size of their penis. And being good in bed isn't defined by size.

Reading your post tells me that you are waaaaaaaaaaaaay more concerned about this than any woman will be. And its not something you can help so you don't have to apologise to people for it. Even if you ARE smaller than average (and I'm not saying you are) there's loads of men in the same boat. Everyone is different. Stop fretting because what's the point? You can't worry about this for your whole life.

Wibbs

What Karen_* wrote. Put it another way, few women will leave you just over a small willy and few will stay just because you have a large one.

Firetrap

The size of your penis does not define you as a person. It is what it is and you'll have to accept that. When it comes to sex, it's the other stuff that you do that makes you good in bed, not the size of your penis.

You should relax and enjoy your relationship with your girlfriend. If it turns out that she has made a comment about your size, well it's a poor reflection on her. It's a private matter. Despite what you might think, most people don't go around discussing size.

tony1kenobi

Short and thick does the trick.

Merry Christmas.

and Merry Christmas to your cock too.

Don't worry.

It's grand.

challengemaster

I think a bigger issue would be your insecurity.

SIBHCHEVIE

First things first size doesn't matter to girls not any girls i've ever met anyway. Don't be wishing for something you don't have, instead learn how to use what you have and yes if you master the oral she'll stay!!!!

there were other people in the house but she says he stayed on the floor in her room, she lives in college and there is no spare room, the couch isn't really designed for sleeping, i don't want to bring it up and seem jealous, she's already being understanding enough.

My problem is the sleeping on her floor. Don't care how uncomfortable the couch is, it's either the couch or a long walk home in the cold and wet!!! I know my boyfriend would not be happy if i had an ex sleep on my floor or a friend for that matter but i would never put him in that position in the first place.

LegacyUser

you sound like a really nice guy, men think way more about this issue than women do,

plenty of guys are in the same situation,

it certainly does not justify you being reticent to bring up the topic of the ex stayin over.

that is something that should be talked about and you'd have every right to question her.

you sound to be very caring and nice, and if you're good looking too you've covered everything a woman could want.

dont be stressin about this at all, its the stressin that will cause more problems than anything else.

be confident and this wont be a problem at all in your life.

LegacyUser

SIBHCHEVIE wrote: »

First things first size doesn't matter to girls not any girls i've ever met anyway.

why does everyone keep assuming that women don't care about the size of a man's junk? A small penis simply isn't as satisfying as a decent sized one (sorry OP but i defo think that 3 inches just isn't big enough) Sex is a really important part of a relationship and i think women who think penis size and sex in general aren't important clearly have never had great sex.

this probably will pose a problem in your relationship and is the reason that your girlfriend is keeping in close contact with her ex, if i were you i would start brushing up on my oral skills because i think you are going to need them!

Irishcrx

*Blathnaid* wrote: »

why does everyone keep assuming that women don't care about the size of a man's junk? A small penis simply isn't as satisfying as a decent sized one (sorry OP but i defo think that 3 inches just isn't big enough) Sex is a really important part of a relationship and i think women who think penis size and sex in general aren't important clearly have never had great sex.

this probably will pose a problem in your relationship and is the reason that your girlfriend is keeping in close contact with her ex, if i were you i would start brushing up on my oral skills because i think you are going to need them!

Oh get bent , OP don't worry about it not every girl out there is like this and she is not keeping her ex around because of his penis size compared to yours. I am very close with two of my exs , very good friends and they stay at my place still sometimes...some women concern themselfs with things like that but alot of girls actually care about who you are as a person, and if you make them happy as opposed to a couple of inch's of skin on your penis....and you'll meet plenty of both.

Beruthiel

Irishcrx wrote: »

Oh get bent.

Less of that please.
There's no reason why you cannot put your point across without getting abusive.
B

Irishcrx

Beruthiel wrote: »

Less of that please.
There's no reason why you cannot put your point across without getting abusive.
B

I have never once lashed out on PI, but that post did annoy me the comments made are unhelpfull and demeening to OP.

LegacyUser

Hi OP, My boyfriend would be the exact same! Okay well ballpark, I've yet to take a measuring devise to his manhood, we've been together 2 very very happy years and I've never been with someone who pleases me so much in bed and out, it truely doesn't matter!! Or if it does it's only to you... With regards to your g/f talking to her friends, okay harsh and all as it is, it's just something some girls do, it doesn't mean she was mocking or saying she was unhappy, more of an information sharing which a lot of women do. Enjoy yourself, your relationship and don't let something so unimportant to her play on your mind ..

LegacyUser

*Blathnaid* wrote: »

why does everyone keep assuming that women don't care about the size of a man's junk? A small penis simply isn't as satisfying as a decent sized one (sorry OP but i defo think that 3 inches just isn't big enough) Sex is a really important part of a relationship and i think women who think penis size and sex in general aren't important clearly have never had great sex.

OP PLEEEASE dont listen to this, it's absolute nonsense! As a woman I can tell you it defo ain't the size of it that matters. And if this girl you're seeing is anyway decent and mature she won't think twice about it. It's natural to feel insecure at the beginning of a relationship, be it your penis size, your looks - in my case my wibbly bits!!! But the point I'm making is that we all have things we don't like about ourselves. If you're with someone worth staying with, they won't give a damn. If your gf says that she doesn't care, take that at face value. Life is too short to worry about what people MIGHT be thinking, so enjoy yourself for who you are!

RossFixxxed

*Blathnaid* wrote: »

why does everyone keep assuming that women don't care about the size of a man's junk? A small penis simply isn't as satisfying as a decent sized one (sorry OP but i defo think that 3 inches just isn't big enough) Sex is a really important part of a relationship and i think women who think penis size and sex in general aren't important clearly have never had great sex.

this probably will pose a problem in your relationship and is the reason that your girlfriend is keeping in close contact with her ex, if i were you i would start brushing up on my oral skills because i think you are going to need them!

That's a bit of a sweeping statement also. It's like asking 'Do girls like oranges'. Sure some do.

OP: you have a girl that you find "AMAZING"... You're already way ahead of the game

Karen_*

*Blathnaid* wrote: »

why does everyone keep assuming that women don't care about the size of a man's junk? A small penis simply isn't as satisfying as a decent sized one (sorry OP but i defo think that 3 inches just isn't big enough) Sex is a really important part of a relationship and i think women who think penis size and sex in general aren't important clearly have never had great sex.

this probably will pose a problem in your relationship and is the reason that your girlfriend is keeping in close contact with her ex, if i were you i would start brushing up on my oral skills because i think you are going to need them!

I really do think that in an instance like this where the OP can't do anything about his physique that if you haven't got something constructive to say then you should just say nothing. I cann't see how you were trying to help here?

And I still stand by what I say and that is that size would not be an issue if you were mad about someone.

Dragan

Guys,

Blaithnaid is simply given her opinion from her point of view. There is no point in telling her that she is wrong when all she is saying is that to some women size does matter.

Now then, OP, i think the fair maiden in question will leave you sooner for the insecurities that she will for the size of your knob. Needing to constantly offer that kind of support can be very, very tiring and can take it's toll.

Have sex, lots of it. Explore each other, get into the idea of Oral, take your time and find out what gets her off.

That is to say, DO SOMETHING!

orchidsrpretty

I agree with all of the above. there is nothing you can do about the size so you will have to learn to deal with it. There is nothing more unatrractive than if you are about to get down with someone and they are not confident. I think the only problems you are going to have will be in regards to that.

If you are comfortable with your body, I bet she won't give it a second thought.

mutualismo

Lucy Kennedy's input (only because it's worth knowing that there are women like her out there, no other reason. I personally believe it's quite sad that she would think like this):

http://www.independent.ie/entertainment/news-gossip/i-love-being-rude-and-naughty-135647.html

(edit: got rid of the quotes, not sure about the rules for pasting stuff. go to this article and search for "average size")

LegacyUser

mutualismo wrote: »

A drunken woman I met recently in a Dublin nightclub claimed she was "speaking for all women, even if they don't admit this" when she said "there is nothing more disastrous than meeting a guy you fancy, taking him home to bed then discovering he is, let's say, less than average size!"

I think it's safe to say that the words of an inebriated woman in a Dublin nightclub are probably not worth the tabloid paper they're reported in.

Smyth

Instead of opening that whole can of worms, let's say this.

There are some women who care about penis size.
There are some women who don't care about penis size.

Neither should be lambasted for their views. Everyone is entitled to their own preferences and shouldn't be judged for it.

Yes OP, it is below average.

Get your cunnilingus in order.

LolaLuv

I agree that some women care and some women don't, but OP if your woman cared so much she'd probably be gone by now. You have to stop worrying about this, though.

kayos

If she says its not a problem then its not a problem, remember as a rule of thumb you could be the best a man be in bed with everything perfectly sized and perfectly used but if the woman is not there emotionaly then it still wont make a difference. Out of the women I know that would say yes size does matter most use it for the opposite to your problem i.e. too big.

I honestly wonder how the women who do care about a mans size would like to be rejected on the size of their bits and we're talking below the belt line here?

Any way sex is not all about the in and out, there is many, many other activities some dont even involve the genitals but can be used to achieve orgasm. Hell even just breathing can bring about an orgasm. Buy some books read up with your partner and start practicing .

katiepwr

I agree although i would buy some books if i were you i would'nt really tell your partner about it. Get some tips and use them, who knows you my suprise her so much that she may not even think about the size of you bits.

Keep in mind there are worse issues out there than your own, be thankful for what you do have

Aloysius Flyte

Ok, I can't believe I'm about to say this but.....

the most intense orgasm of my life was with someone who was very challenged down there and in fact, had 'stage fright' on occassion, but my oh my, he made up for it. He was the MASTER, ie a cunning linguist if you get my drift. I'm not joking I think I was in that euphoric state for about 10 minutes. It was 12 years ago and I'm still talking about it!

So what I'm about to say is that, yes, size can matter if that's all on offer, however, if you can learn and master other things, well - maybe she'll be talking about you the way I am about him 12 years on! :)

LegacyUser

I'd just like to point out that i WAS helping the guy, i was telling him to practice his oral, which is about all he can do really. I'm so sick of everyone being so f*cking sanctimonious on Personal Issues with the "everyone is different, just be yourself, it's all about inner beauty" crap. Sometimes it's not about inner beauty. The guy has a small dick- that's just a sad fact of his life, and all the women saying they don't care are misleading the guy.

Btw if the shoe was on the other foot and the woman had a cavernous vagina, guys would absolutely care. sexual satisfaction is VERY important in a relationship- get off your high horses just cos i'm being honest about it with the guy. your 'helpful' comments are patronising and/or extremely naive.

OP- i'd also find the fact that she was bitching about you and the 'sleeping on the floor' thing very worrying if i were you.

Wibbs

Funny enough I would tend to agree with *Blathnaid* to a large degree. Yes it matters. It matters more to some than others, but there is sod all you can do about the size of your penis and it doesn't matter as much as you think, when you take other things in the relationship into the equation. Work on that, inside and outside the bedroom. Work on you, for you and for the betterment of you and those loved ones you choose to have in your life.

As I said a woman won't leave a good man who treats her well, wants to build a future with her and gives her plenty of sexual pleasure and she won't stay with donkey dick boy if he doesn't. Indeed any woman who leaves in the former case or stays in the latter is a mentalist so better off without frankly.

I would also agree with *Blathnaid* and others when they express concern about the sleeping arrangements. That's of a bigger concern than the contents of you kacks IMHO. Watch that one and if something kicks off there it's less to do with his "size". It'll be more an emotional thing. I'd let it go this time, but I would stand up for yourself if that happens again. Women do go for men who have boundaries and who react calmly, but clearly when such boundaries are crossed. Far more than they care overall about how many inches you're packing. IMHO too many men worry about their pecker and don't worry about their emotional self respect.

Donald-Duck

*Blathnaid* wrote: »

cavernous vagina

Great description:D

Big Chief

your gonna fail and your gonna fail misreably

not because of your size, or the other guy

but rather because it seems when it comes to sexual "developments" so to speak, you have about as much confidence as i have in my pinky toe.

sorry to be blunt, its all about confidence in the bedroom and communication between each other.. (i.e i like to find out what works best, i have confidence in what im doing..) no women is possibly going to like it that "oh you might not like this" or around the lines your speaking of.. its not going to impress her and i wont lie, she will end up back with the other guy or some other bloke who is willing to knock her socks off..

communicate (in a confident way...) and the bedroom if your oyster my friend..

p.s i would say she may or may not have said anything to the friends, but the majority of your posts seems to imply she has not yet seen the "dramatically small" penis you speak of.. yet she is talking about it to friends?? in either case it sounds more like paranoia and insecurity on your side im afraid.

sorry to be blunt, i dont like to beat around the bush

D-Generate

Big Chief wrote: »

sorry to be blunt, i dont like to beat around the bush

Pffft and you are trying to give help for sexual relations with a female....

Anyway, seriously man, if its a few months in to the relationship and you haven't been satisfying her then I would be well concerned about her ex staying over. Find out the story about that and in the mean time get to work on going down on her.

LegacyUser

It's not true that 'all women care about size', not at all.

I've experienced both ends of the scale. The considerably below average guy was amazing in bed - so good that I still think about him even though it was a horribly acrimonious breakup in the end. The considerably larger than average guy hadn't got a clue what the hell he was doing, completely rubbish. And was obviously cocky enough (ahem) to think that he didn't have to work on any kid of foreplay or other skills because of his size. I was with the first guy years and years, almost married him. The bigger fella lasted six weeks. In both cases it was their personalities, not their penis sizes, that determined the success of the relationship.

You're only young OP, but you'll come to realise that any girl who lets your size decide whether she wants to be with you or not, is someone to be steered clear of at all costs.

Wibbs

Donald-Duck off topic stuff is not welcome in this forum. Please spend time reading the charter. Thanks.

LegacyUser

Whenever i felt down abut the size of my penis in the past i've always thought to myself, "would i dump a girl because she has small breasts, or doesn't have a fantastic figure" and they would be the last reasons i would dump anybody. So, there are in my opinion plenty of women out there who see the bigger picture just like i would.

Integrity, good morals and a bubbly personality are the things i look for and always have done and obviously a physical attraction. That will do nicely for me and i think any girl with half a brain will not be so pre-occupied with the size of your penis to make it an obstacle to having a fulfilling relationship.

If a women genuinly thinks that having a smaller than average penis means that the guy can't please her in the bedroom then she needs to get out more. Some women think its massively important, if it is to them then so be it. Its not worth worrying about ultimately in my opinion and when you meet a person you really care about and vice versa you'll both help each other to be more confident in the bedroom.

Sangre

Even if it was small, just think of it as a filter to get rid of women who aren't worth spending time with.

BenGunn

Lessthanaverage wrote: »

If a women genuinly thinks that having a smaller than average penis means that the guy can't please her in the bedroom then she needs to get out more. Some women think its massively important, if it is to them then so be it. Its not worth worrying about ultimately

Why are you talking like it's a sate of mind on behalf of the woman? Like if she can't get off from a 3incher then she must be shallow or something? It's nothing to do with how nice the girl is- 3inches isn't enough to get the job done. End of story.

LegacyUser

There are other ways to please a women. 3 inches is difficult to work with but there are many toys out there that if used with a bit of imagination can do the trick. Its not all about penetration and there are various sexual positions that can stimulate the clitoris while making the most of what you do have.

At the end of the day there are lots of men with small penises and most have a girlfriend/wife so don't worry about it OP. Work on your overall confidence and happiness and you'll attract plenty of women who will like you for who you are and not how big your penis is.

For any women who is turned off a guy if he doesn't meet their requirements, thats cool as well. We all have preferences, likes and dislikes but when you meet the right person its such a good feeling that things like penis size don't matter imo.

Duckjob

OP, maybe you're below average size, but so what? You just need to develop other skills a bit more. Fingers and tongue are your friends. Get those right, and your gf is going to be too busy rolling her eyes back in her head to be giving any thought to your d**k size.

I'd agree with earlier posters that your current lack of confidence is a more important problem to overcome than your "measurements"

Wibbs

Unregistered wrote: »

There are other ways to please a women. 3 inches is difficult to work with but there are many toys out there that if used with a bit of imagination can do the trick. Its not all about penetration and there are various sexual positions that can stimulate the clitoris while making the most of what you do have.

At the end of the day there are lots of men with small penises and most have a girlfriend/wife so don't worry about it OP. Work on your overall confidence and happiness and you'll attract plenty of women who will like you for who you are and not how big your penis is.

For any women who is turned off a guy if he doesn't meet their requirements, thats cool as well. We all have preferences, likes and dislikes but when you meet the right person its such a good feeling that things like penis size don't matter imo.

Bang on the money.

LegacyUser

Lessthanaverage wrote: »

when you meet a person you really care about and vice versa you'll both help each other to be more confident in the bedroom.

this person speaks the most sense. How can a young inexperienced man who is worried about his size suddenly gain bedroom confidence overnight just because a load of people on the internet tell him he has to. Confidence comes with experience and learning what works and what doesn't. Have fun figuring it out and if it turns out this girl isn't the one for you you'll still have learnt some new skills

LegacyUser

BenGunn wrote: »

It's nothing to do with how nice the girl is- 3inches isn't enough to get the job done. End of story.

You can't possibly say that on behalf of all women. For some women penetration isn't important at all... it's the pressure on the clitoris that does the job.

LegacyUser

Look I`m sure you would not date a fat girl its the same thing! I put on weight and guy that used to fall over themselves won`t even look at me thats life!

LegacyUser

thanks for the advice, especially those who just laid it out honestly. doesn't matter now- she's been sleeping with the other guy. now says she still wants to go out but doesn't want to be "exclusive" (her words). i dunno what to do, i know i really should dump her but as she pointed out we'd just started having sex and she wasn't enjoying it "yet" (her words again) so she "needed it from somewhere" (and again). should i persevere and see if i can improve and be enough for her? i'm so confused, she's way out of my league- i think i might be an idiot if i dump her but a sap if i don't

Beruthiel

Have some self respect. Dump her ass.

LegacyUser

Dude.... dump her. Cheating is cheating no matter what size your willy is. You deserve better. Get rid, she's making a fool of you. You'll find someone worth your time and effort, don't settle for being treated like that. What a cow...

Setun

LittleGeneral wrote: »

thanks for the advice, especially those who just laid it out honestly. doesn't matter now- she's been sleeping with the other guy. now says she still wants to go out but doesn't want to be "exclusive" (her words). i dunno what to do, i know i really should dump her but as she pointed out we'd just started having sex and she wasn't enjoying it "yet" (her words again) so she "needed it from somewhere" (and again). should i persevere and see if i can improve and be enough for her? i'm so confused, she's way out of my league- i think i might be an idiot if i dump her but a sap if i don't

Tell her to gtfo. She's obviously not worth any of your time whatsoever, put your energy into finding someone who's genuine and that you can forget about being self-concious with.

Good luck.

HPT

Beruthiel wrote: »

Have some self respect. Dump her ass.

+1

LolaLuv

I think your posts have indicated a rather startling lack of self-esteem and insecurity, as others have said previously. Now that you know she's boning someone else, take the opportunity to cut things with her and take a break and work on your self-esteem. You'll be glad you did.

Also, don't think your willy is what drove her to bang that other guy. Her being a lying, cheating slut is what did that. Ditch her before she becomes an even bigger head wreck.

SIBHCHEVIE

Thats just emotional blackmail on her part, the reason she wasn't into sex with you was because she was still thinking about the other guy not your penis size. If she really cared for you she would've stayed with you regardless and worked on your relationship in the bedroom.

Good riddance i say.

Queencake

OP you're better off without that cow. She cheated because she was still pining after that guy. It had nothing to do with your penis. I'd bet money on it. She sounds like a self centred bitch. Manipulative too to try and put the blame on you. She obviously thinks you've got something to offer otherwise she'd have dumped you outright. She's hedging her bets hoping the playboy will change his ways.

Penis size really isn't the be all and end all. Yes, it's great to have a good size but if you're below average you CAN make up for it through foreplay, oral etc. Confidence is crucial in the bedroom. However don't be like the first guy I was with...He thought he was God's gift and that his penis was large (ha!). Sizewise he was about average but that didn't matter because he didn't know how to use it, had ZERO skills in foreplay and oral and he couldn't even find my clit. What made it even worse was he wouldn't let me show him. I was too naive to know any better and he made me feel like the problem was with me. He kept telling me he never had a problem making his ex come...Ha, I'm convinced she was faking. It's all about attitude in the bedroom.

Hun, you'll meet a nice girl who won't be a manipulative slut and you'll grow more experienced together. You were unluckly but please don't let this cow make your self esteem any lower. Dump her and tell her YOU deserve better. Because it's TRUE and you do.