Whats going on with me!

LegacyUser

Im terribly at explaining things, so bare with me.Im almost confusing myself at times.
This is probably gonna sound like a whiney teenagery thread, so if you dont want to read it, you dont have to.
Really,Im just kinda getting sick of everything.im pissing myself off.Theres just so many things I dont like about myself, im not bad looking, i know that myself, but it seems like when I go out...i give off the vibes of being a slut, and im not, honestly. I can be quite loud at times, but to be honest, im actually paranoid, and insecure alot of the time. There's only a few people I truly trust, and they mean the world to me.
Another thing thats bugging me is I havent yet been in an even slightly serious relationship; i have a horrible attitude towards them. i really want a close relationship with someone, and im always really jealous of other people and their relationships. but i want a relationship to happen after ive been friends with someone for ages. but it just doesnt seem to happen like that, because i amnt at all attracted to any of my guy friends.... i guess to me whats being friendly and having a laugh, people see as being flirty, and then almost start playing matchmaker and i just begin to feel repulsed by whichever guy it is.


I can be a bitch to some people, and theres some people who walk all over me. in school im quite, outside im loud. i really just dont know

Kevster

Hi,

There is a strong case to be made here that you just have not yet found your 'niche' in society. When we grow up, we desperately look here, there, and everywhere for some place/group that we can fit into. It's also about redfining who we are a lot of the time, which is what you are now doing. Friendships that you form now may not be permanent ones, as people change and drift apart. Also, for some people, serious sexual relationships simply don't happen until they are in their 20's or even 30's.

I hope that I have provided some clarity here for you.

Take care,
Kevin

Nyree

Cleo, you sound like a nice girl but you sound like you're panicing to me. Slow down ! You're only still at school, what's your hurry ? And you do sound quite confused to me but I think it's because you're panicing for some unknown reason. If you just slow down and relax and do two things - firstly make damn sure you are being yourself and yourself only. Trying to act like someone you're not is such an energy waster - we've all been through it and sooner or later you get caught out. I'm not saying you're doing this but make sure you're not. Secondly, if you've decided to wait until you're friends with someone before starting a relationship then that's a mature choice you have made in your life and you should stick to it. You are in effect creating values for yourself and that is always a positive thing. Create values for yourself in life and always live by them. But slow down, girl, you make me feel out of breath reading your post. You might make those around you think you're a bit crazy with your behaviour when really you're just a confused teenager ! But you can change that by just slowing down and having a long hard look at yourself and deciding on those values ! What do I want and what do I not want ? And then stick to it.