girlfriend broke up with me . dont know what to next.

LegacyUser

going unregistered for this one. i realise there are many other posts like this and i could search for them but itd make me feel better to start my own. my girlfriend of a year broke up with me and few days ago. it wasnt totally unexpected as i had a feeling she might but it still came as a suprise (perhaps i was telling myself in my head it wouldnt happen?) this girl was the world to me and aswell as being my girlfriend was probably my best friend throughout the last year.

we were always in contact (but not overly) and things felt just right. i havnt spoken to her since the breakup, she sent me a message on the evening of it happening acting as if everything was normal. i didnt reply because i felt devastated and i spose angry. however right now all i want to do is talk to her, give her a quick ring, text, whatever it has to be. i know i should stand by my morals and give it a few more days? but its really hard
thanks for reading

themadchef

Yeah it's very hard not to pick up the phone. You want answers, but she needs space right now. You also need time to think. If you think you saw the break up coming then you must have a fair idea of what was going wrong in the relationship.
Did you talk it out? Take some time, you both need time to deal with the break up. Even though she did the breaking up I'm pretty sure she's going to be just as upset if you were so close.

If you think it's worth fighting for OP then write it all down, every feeling, with every ounce of passion you have. If things stay broken after she reads it and you talk it through, then there's nothing else you can do about it.

It's really hard, but it will get easier with time.

Katgurl

it is really rough. do you know what prompted the break? you said you were half-expecting it. had you been rowing a lot?

MagicMarker

There's no doint dwelling on it now (easier said than done). She made the decision, you need to come to terms with it.

I suggest you cut all contact ASAP, hope won't do you any good right but prolong the inevitable, which is to move on with your life.

Call up any friends you have, arrange to head out, couple of beers, a movie, whatever. Just don't sit in feeling sorry for yourself.

LegacyUser

It's really tough, really really tough. But there is only one way to do this, no contact, no texts, no phone, no email and try to accept there's no way back. You'll get used to quite quickly not having contact and it makes it a lot easier. You HAVE to get out as much as possible. ANYTHING. Poker, cinema, gym, football all followed by pub. Good luck.

jim o doom

MagicMarker wrote: »

There's no doint dwelling on it now (easier said than done). She made the decision, you need to come to terms with it.

I suggest you cut all contact ASAP, hope won't do you any good right but prolong the inevitable, which is to move on with your life.

Call up any friends you have, arrange to head out, couple of beers, a movie, whatever. Just don't sit in feeling sorry for yourself.

Yeah magicmarker pretty much said exactly what I was about to.. Cutting off contact is a must, you won't be able to get proper "closure" (hate that word) if you don't.. also going out is good too - it means you are not sitting at home stewing in your own depressed mental juices..

LegacyUser

Hi, I've recently gone through something similar and know how hard it can be. I can relate to the feeling of wanting to share things and having the urge to contact them all the time.

I would suggest that you let her know how you honestly feel, (if you didn't already during the break-up) and then take a step back, cut all contact and try to get on with your life.

I was given some pretty insightful advice on this thread that helped / helps me ALOT.

http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055419016&page=2

Good luck.

LegacyUser

there's no right or wrong thing to do. You're entitled to answers, but be nice about it. Go with your gut. I would suggest thought keeping active, and trying to get out having a laugh with your mates, but some people need time to regenerate.

Super Sidious

Leave it a week, then ring/text asking her to meet up for a chat... see if she's up for it, dont go rushing back into trying to get back with her, give her some time to miss you, then when you meet up see how things go, a couple of drinks and maybe you'll realise you were right for each other!

BraziliaNZ

stop contacting her, it's over. Some advise though - if you're going drinking leave your phone at home, or give it to someone else for the night, or delete her number or do something!