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Hopeless....
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16-12-2008 12:39am#1
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I can't empathise as I have no idea what you're feeling right now but I can sympathise. Ending it all is NOT the answer. I'm 100% sure you can work through this. Stick with the dancing! Join a club, go to a dance night, just check if there are any dancing events on near you. It'd be a great way to do what you love and try and meet new people. Advice isn't my strong point but I will say things will get better, given time and a bit of effort.
Thanks. I dont expect any one to understand how im feeling.. Its hard to explain. Its just so hard to imagine things getting better because its been like this for a while now.. I dunno if there is anything i can join.If you love dancing - dance!!!! Many people dont have a love of anything in their lives - you have - you know what it is do it!!! So what if you didnt make the team - does it stop you dancing? Do you stop to think that perhaps it could be a good thing not to have made that team? (its just a thought mind you!) when people start competing at certain high levels sometimes the enjoyment can totally go and the pressure takes over.
There are loads of people who love dancing - it has never been so popular - please please do it.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step - let it be a dance step for you.....
I do love it but at 21 i just felt like this was my last chance to make something of myself. Like ive been doing it for years and just wanted it to lead somewhere.. I said to myself before going for it this is either make or break and this was the last thing to help me decide what im going to do and unfortunately i guess it wasnt meant to be so...........
Thanks for the advice...
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hi - welcome back - I was thinking bout yer audition and sorry to hear you didn't make it but don't dwell on it - you will do it the next time. As I said to you before I do have experience in what you're going through, I know what that black tunnel looks like but I can't re-iterate enough that you will come out of it. Your dancing sounds like an important part of you so hang onto it.
When I felt like you did the thing I hated most was people giving me advice - or worse - people who didn't have a clue saying ''sher snap yerself out of it - ya'll be grand''. So I'm not going to do that. But I will say this - it took time and it only got better when I sought help for my eating disorder. It was the hardest bloody thing I've ever done but it was worth it.
If you'd like someone to rant at on here feel free to PM me and talk about the weather. or the lisbon treaty. or even why that x-factor song sux :P0 -
I do love it but at 21 i just felt like this was my last chance to make something of myself. Like ive been doing it for years and just wanted it to lead somewhere.. I said to myself before going for it this is either make or break and this was the last thing to help me decide what im going to do and unfortunately i guess it was meant to be so...........
Thanks for the advice...
At 54 - 21 seems so young and full of opportunities - I envy you:) But it can be difficult at any age I know that only too well. however I also know that no matter what age you are when you are down it is important to 'do'. The worse thing you can do is sit and wallow. It can be really really hard to push yourself to do even something small but you have to.
Why not tell us why you felt this was your last chance to make something of yourself? Why was it so important? Why was it make or break?
Oh by the way there is nothing wrong with liking being by yourself - I love it but there is a balance too:) as in all things I guess achieveing that balance is the hard thing.0 -
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hi - welcome back - I was thinking bout yer audition and sorry to hear you didn't make it but don't dwell on it - you will do it the next time. As I said to you before I do have experience in what you're going through, I know what that black tunnel looks like but I can't re-iterate enough that you will come out of it. Your dancing sounds like an important part of you so hang onto it.
When I felt like you did the thing I hated most was people giving me advice - or worse - people who didn't have a clue saying ''sher snap yerself out of it - ya'll be grand''. So I'm not going to do that. But I will say this - it took time and it only got better when I sought help for my eating disorder. It was the hardest bloody thing I've ever done but it was worth it.
If you'd like someone to rant at on here feel free to PM me and talk about the weather. or the lisbon treaty. or even why that x-factor song sux :P
Thanks ha agree with ya on the xfactor
Im probably coming across as this girl who tried out at an audition and didnt get it so is now having a tantrum saying shes going to kill herself. But really its not like that. Theres so much more to it than that but im just saying the dancing (i think) would have helped me alot. I probably sound like a loonatic i just realised... anywho...
Well done on getting help. I would say it did take alot of courage... I dont think i can do it though.. I wouldnt be able to explain at all...At 54 - 21 seems so young and full of opportunities - I envy you:) But it can be difficult at any age I know that only too well. however I also know that no matter what age you are when you are down it is important to 'do'. The worse thing you can do is sit and wallow. It can be really really hard to push yourself to do even something small but you have to.
Why not tell us why you felt this was your last chance to make something of yourself? Why was it so important? Why was it make or break?
Oh by the way there is nothing wrong with liking being by yourself - I love it but there is a balance too:) as in all things I guess achieveing that balance is the hard thing.
I know what you're saying about pushing yourself. Its so hard. Even just going to work it'd be so easy to just call in sick.. I do try though but everythings just got on top of me..
Why was it so important? I dunno i just felt within myself 'if you cant do this then you cant do anything' And i obviously cant.... and i decided to stick by that b4 i went for it. That this was my last hope in being happy? Ah im gonna shut up now cause im freaking myself out now at how crazy i sound writing this down
Really appreciate all the comments and people taking time to reply..0 -
I dunno i just felt within myself 'if you cant do this then you cant do anything' And i obviously cant.
What you've written there is a negative thought about yourself. (I'm going to sound like a preachy-bit*h here so forgive me in advance :rolleyes: )
I went to CBT - cognitive behaviour therapy. What it showed me is that setting yourself up for failure is easier than being positive about yourself. Ie., what you've said above.
I used to say things to myself like ''no one will like me at that party so I won't go''. So I was making it easier on myself - telling myself in advance that I'd fail so that when I did fail it was ok that I didn't try the next thing.
Now, when yer wan was telling me this you can imagine how mad I was - ''how very dare you'' etc etc. But she set me a simple task - to make a phonecall about a course. She gave me 2 weeks to do it. I hadn't done it before cause I'd told myself (and her) that they wouldn't take me on the course cause I wasn't good enough, etc etc. On the 13th day I picked up the phone - spoke to the person about the course, got on it, and did it.
One small step - that's all it takes to get started. That, and yer wan constantly confronting me about the bullsh** I was telling her about myself. Like ''I'm crap at everything''. Oh really, so you're crap at everything. There's NOTHING in the world you're good at. Not one single thing. You can't tie your shoelaces, you can't open a door, you can't use a mobile, you can't go into a shop and ask for something, etc etc. And then you (slooooooowly) realise that a lot of the negative things you think about yourself have no basis in reality.
''If you can't do this you can't do anything.''
You can dance.
You can use a computer, connect it to the interweb and type. (my sister can't even do this:P)
You can recognise a senseless butchering of a fantastic song by a soul-less pop wannabe.:D
See???? There's 3 things already :P0 -
hmmm,i remember going through a patch like this.sometimes i slip back into but do my best not too.(im only 22)
i know this is gonna sound immature or blah blah etc etc, but you need to make yourself happy.()
you have to force it,my own experiences are like this.
your down,really down and know you have to come back up,for your own gud. so i make myself smile or laugh about one thing,just one thing then it usually carries on from there.
you need to get out nd cut loose. have a drink or 2, dance like a loon and ejoy it.
life is only beginning,your not finished till your in the ground. so its never too late!
keep the chin up;)0 -
Now, when yer wan was telling me this you can imagine how mad I was - ''how very dare you'' etc etc. But she set me a simple task - to make a phonecall about a course. She gave me 2 weeks to do it. I hadn't done it before cause I'd told myself (and her) that they wouldn't take me on the course cause I wasn't good enough, etc etc. On the 13th day I picked up the phone - spoke to the person about the course, got on it, and did it.
''If you can't do this you can't do anything.''
You can dance.
You can use a computer, connect it to the interweb and type. (my sister can't even do this:P)
You can recognise a senseless butchering of a fantastic song by a soul-less pop wannabe.:D
See???? There's 3 things already :P
ahh im not the only one :pac:
You were saying about the woman making u ring up about the course. Im kind of in that situation except ive been wanting to do a certain course for the last 3 years but because of points im not able to
so i'd have to wait until im a mature student which isnt for years! and the chances of me even getting a place at that stage is low. And i have people nagging me to go out and 'do something' with myself but theres nothing else i want to do. cant take it anymore. Wish i could just go and live miles away and not have to see anyone. I know it sounds awful 0 -
ahh im not the only one :pac:
You were saying about the woman making u ring up about the course. Im kind of in that situation except ive been wanting to do a certain course for the last 3 years but because of points im not able to so i'd have to wait until im a mature student which isnt for years! and the chances of me even getting a place at that stage is low. And i have people nagging me to go out and 'do something' with myself but theres nothing else i want to do. cant take it anymore. Wish i could just go and live miles away and not have to see anyone. I know it sounds awful
I'm a lad kinda different hehe but I know how your feeling I'm only 20 and I've had some similar problems and then other problems with my self confidence add it all together and I was really really depressed I went on meds the lot nothing worked but one day I said f*ck it I'm going to give it one last chance hence I'm repeating the LC this year to get in the course that I want to do.
Theres nothing stopping you doing what you want do. If your good enough to trial for the Irish team I know then for a fact your an amazing dancer don't give up something your good at just because one minor step back. The way I see it they where obviously idiots if they didn't see the potential in you.
And go on go out even if its too your friends/relations house for an hour or two.0 -
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Hey thanks 4 the reply I know how you feel about confidence. it took so much 4 me to dance in front of loads of people on my own.
i would say if i went to the doc thyd want to put me on the meds but ive heard tht its really hard to get off them if u start to take them... so dunno if id wanna go down that road.
Good luck in repeating the leaving. Hope u get what u want 0 -
Hey thanks 4 the reply I know how you feel about confidence. it took so much 4 me to dance in front of loads of people on my own.
i would say if i went to the doc thyd want to put me on the meds but ive heard tht its really hard to get off them if u start to take them... so dunno if id wanna go down that road.
Good luck in repeating the leaving. Hope u get what u want
Yup don't if possible but like I would talk to someone about how your feeling i.e. a close friend or family member thats really what helpled me throughout my problem period, and thanks hehe so do i lol.0 -
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