What's the most Clouseau-esque thing you've seen/experienced?

Smart Bug

Note to all: No serious incidents/injuries...

but what is the funniest slap-stick incident you've seen/experienced?


Me and a friend (quite hammered) were walking through a wood near our hometown late at night, as you do. I was walking along a path bordered on one side by a precititous drop of 12 or so feet onto a rocky stream, my friend ahead of me. As I was quite inebriated I was staggering about blindly when I overbalanced and plunged backwards off the path, head first. Cue my friend coming back to find me hanging upside-down over the stream-bed - I had fallen through a small bifurcated tree and was hanging by one foot. I had to climb up my leg & unhook my foot to get free. My mate was no help at all.

I'll think of more shortly...

6th

I got off the bus on the way home from a 5 hour waiting in A&E, I walked out from behind the bus and under a car.

Jumpy

Sabotage wrote: »

I got off the bus on the way home from a 5 hour waiting in A&E, I walked out from behind the bus and under a car.

Well at least you got put to the top of the queue. I assume.





NOT NOW KATO!

Latchy

My Friend once asked me to assist him fitting a new kitchen in somebodys house Nixer and told me to drill some holes in a wall for fixing kitchen units on .What he forgot to tell me ( or didnt realise ) was that the wall he asked me to drill into was really a false partition ,about an inch deep ,were i was screwing much longer screws into and lucky for me the owner was out .The picture that fell onto the floor was hiding the most obious hole on other side .

( think dell boy fron OFAH )

I might add that beside this faus pax , my diy electrical skills are second to none

6th

Jumpy wrote: »

Well at least you got put to the top of the queue. I assume.

I refused to go to the hospital and instead waited 3 days until the pain got too much.

Nodin

Seen a fellah fall over the back of a couch and not spill a drop of the pint in his hand. Bizarre but true.

Gauge

Walking down a street in Cork, I noticed far too late that some eejit had spilled a bucket of white paint across the footpath and thoughtfully covered it up with a piece of cardboard that had "WET PAINT!!!" written on it. I noticed just as I was stepping onto the cardboard. What happens when cardboard + paint meets foot?

Well, the carboard immediately shot five feet down the footpath, taking me with it on my arse and leaving me cursing and covered from head to toe in white paint all of which happened on a very crowded street. On a Saturday afternoon.

CreepingDeath

Had a mate who got hammered and decided to do a bit of hedge jumping through some gardens.

Unbeknownst to him, the hedge in question had grown around a spikey fence. He was blessed he didn't impale himself on the spikes and instead ended up hanging upside down on the other side with his trousers caught on the spikes.

CreepingDeath

One of my uncles was notorious for bad DIY jobs.

He decided to replace a leaking section of black plastic guttering on the roof.
Only it didn't quite fit.

So he brings it until the sitting room and pokes one end of the gutter into the fire to melt it a little. Not realising that the black smoke travelled along the length and destroyed the ceiling in the kitchen.

1mcampo1

Nodin wrote: »

Seen a fellah fall over the back of a couch and not spill a drop of the pint in his hand. Bizarre but true.

This happened to a friend of mine. He walked in the door, can in hand, tripped over a pair of shoes, he went flying along with the can. He landed on his face, however the can landed upright, not a drop of beer touched the ground!! :eek: UNBELIEVABLE!!

mountainyman

I walked into the same lamppost every day for a week.

MM

sam34

i was in the cinema and when i was walking up the steps to leave (had been sitting near the front) i fell backwards, so ended up lying on the stiars with my head pointing towards the screen. very embarrassing. not helped by the fact that my sister stood there pointing and laughing, while it was left to random strangers to help me up.

metaoblivia

I went out one night with my best friend and a group of her friends to celebrate a birthday. Neither my best friend or I had any alcohol that night because we were driving, but everyone else was smashed. We left the club and part of the group started walking in the wrong direction, which we didn't notice until they were well across the street. So my best friend went running after them, tripped over her own two feet in the middle of the road, did a complete forward somersault and landed flat on her back. And she's a fairly "big" girl, so I believe that cushioned her fall and prevented any injury. However, the bystanders around her were very concerned, and when they found out she intended to drive several people home, they took her keys from her because they thought she was drunk!

Terry

I've cycled into a parked car (sober), parked truck (drunk). Been knocked off my bicycle by a moped. Lots more.

Funniest thing I saw though was a guy running towards me and telling me he was going to kill me. Then he tripped on the kerb and smashed his face off the ground.

6th, how did you not see the car coming?

Shacklebolt

I saw The Pink Panther once.... That was probably it.

Sir Gallagher

A couple of years ago i slipped while walking up steps in the pub with two pints in my hands, it happened so quick so i couldn't throw the pints down to protect my hands. It resulted in me smashing the glasses into my hands, sliced them up pretty bad, severed a tendon and nerves! But at least i have some cool scars now.

IvySlayer

Sir Gallagher wrote: »

A couple of years ago i slipped while walking up steps in the pub with two pints in my hands, it happened so quick so i couldn't throw the pints down to protect my hands. It resulted in me smashing the glasses into my hands, sliced them up pretty bad, severed a tendon and nerves! But at least i have some cool scars now.

I assume you tell everyone how you saved a child from the jaws of a tiger

A few years ago I was getting my trousers measured by a lady in a shop. She asked me to pull it down a little, she meant trousers and I knew she meant that, but for some stupid reason I pulled my zipper down. Idiot!

I left the shop quite promptly.

6th

Terry wrote: »

6th, how did you not see the car coming?

Well julep, you see I walked out from behind the bus and was hit by a car coming in the opposite direction. My lower legs were dragged under the car and I was pulled along for a little bit resulting in a badly scraped pair of ass cheeks.

Terry

Sabotage wrote: »

Well julep, you see I walked out from behind the bus and was hit by a car coming in the opposite direction. My lower legs were dragged under the car and I was pulled along for a little bit resulting in a badly scraped pair of ass cheeks.

I meant in the psychic sense.

kiffer

One day I was reading/snoozing on the bus and so missed my stop, I spotted this just as the bus was passing the stop and got up and ran toward the front doors of the bus.
As the bus rounded the corner after my stop, the bus driver saw me and realised that I had missed my stop and so began to slow and opened the doors...

Everything just added up wrong in my head... the turning and slowing... the open door and the fact I was running, and so it seemed to me that the bus had actually stopped but in fact it was still going faster than I could run...

I hit the grass along the side of the road, rolled and some how came up running...

I was shocked... the bus driver was shocked... to everyone else it just looked like I jumped out of the bus as it took a corner which I guess is what I did.
In my defense I thought it was stopped.

pawrick

spotted a puddle and turned to shout to my mates to watch out for it as i jumped across and straigh in to a lamp post - if only i wasn't being so considerate by shouting i might have gotten away with it.

meal out the other night - chatting to a new girl from another office i work with. useless at names but good with initials. Decided to talk to her and started out by apologising that i couldnt remember her name but that all i remembered about her was the S&M - said just as the table went quiet to listen to me

6th

Terry wrote: »

I meant in the psychic sense.

Damn ... I think that knock gave me my powahs!?

shenanigans1982

Was coming out of a wedding a while back with my OH a while back we were sitting on a wall waiting for a taxi to come along. Across the street some guy in a suit was being chased by staff from the hotel. He came charging towards us and without breaking his stride jumped over the wall without realising there was a 15 ft drop on the far side.

This probably had a serious injury but we didn't hang around and let the staff deal with it.

ArmaniJeanss

Playing snooker, the Spider Extension was lying on the ground, and I tried to pick it up by standing on the metal end of it and catching the wooden part in my hand as it came up. Bloody thing accelerated at frightening speed and knocked me out cold when it hit me in the head.

So an hour later people are asking me what happened and I decide to show them again, except this time I think I'm ready for it. Yet again it accelerates past my hand and gives me another clobber in the head.

Quazzie

Was at a house party a couple of months back and there was a sliding door out to the back yard where everyone went for a smoke. One particular guy was coming back in through the sliding door, which was open, proceded to close it and then walked into it, to a chorus of laughter.

On of mine is got on a bus in Edenderry heading for my usual destination of Palmerstown, and soon fell asleep, which was normal. That particular morning I must have been really tired because I slept right through my stop. Also slept through the swap over in Bus Aras and woke in Clane on the way back down.

Senna

Was working as a floor boy in a hotel when i was 15, I was carrying a tray full of drinks over to a group of people, they were all standing around the table so i held the tray in one hand and took off the drinks with the other. I had just lifted off a pint and was reaching to pass it to someone, as i was at my futhest stretch, some silly cow seen her drink on my tray so decided to lift it off. Of course this completely unbalanced the tray and i desperately try to re-balance and it all goes into slow motion, it felt like i spent minutes contorting my body, but to no avail. So the full tray of drink lands all over me, but the kicker was the bottle of tonic water that landed top down into my trouser pocket.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Where I lived last year, the nearest shop had a dodgy set of automatic doors, they opened slightly slower than they should have. So, having been in the shop dozens of times, and knowing full well about the doors, what do I do one rainy afternoon when I'm trying not to get frizzy rain hair, coz that'd be like, so embarassing? Run straight into the fuckers.

I didn't see this one personally but several people have sworn it's true. My housemate had a room on the second floor last year. She was waiting for a taxi to take her to a friends birthday party, and ran upstairs to get a nearly-full bottle of wine she'd left in her room. On her way back down the stairs, in her high heels, the taxi called. She tried to pick up pace but instead, due to high heels and drunkeness managed to fall down two flights of stairs. Got to the bottom, still had her thumb over the top of the wine bottle, kind of tumbled to her feet and just pegged it out the door to the taxi, without a word

ACW

I used to work is a store with a small staff team, we all knew each other quiet well and had established roles. I was the sensible and level headed one.

One evening as we were closing up, 2 of my work mates were messing about on the shop floor while hoovering and one fell over the hoover and banged his head on a table. I bandaged him up, filled in the accident report form and gave them both a stern lecture about the dangers of not paying attention to the hazards in the work place. Then as they were both mumbling their apologys, I turned smartly and went to go out back, tripping over the still present hoover, tripped with my hands full of the first aid kit and accident report book. So I couldn't break my fall and ended up knocking myself out against the door....

*sigh*
:rolleyes:

Pyr0

I remember one time during a sponsored walk back in the day of primary school. We took a break at this green area with a low wall beside the footpath, all the lads were running and jumping over the wall so I went for it at full pelt and made my heroic attempt, ended up hitting my feet of the edges of the wall and smacking my head off the ground. I just got up and sauntered off.

Another time I was cycling to school (secondary this time) REALLY fast when my chain on my bike came off, the pedals flew out from my feet and smashed of my shins, I flew cross a road missing a car by inches (my breaks didn't work at that very moment ¬_¬) fell on to the cross bar and continued to bounce on it crushing my nuts, not once, or twice, but three times. At the end of it all I slammed into a wall with all the white spikey pebble stuff on the outside, that messed my hands and arms up alright.

This all happened in full view of rush hour traffic.

I limped the rest of the way to school. I was late that morning.

Another time a few of my friends were jumping off a high-ish wall and doing a roll at the end of it, I decided to try it out and ended up spraining my ankle pretty badly. I avoid any sort of activity or action that involves jumping off/over a wall to this day.

Berty

When I was younger I was cycling up a road where they had just started building these new houses. An open backed truck passed me and it has the remains of the plastic that wraps around bricks. The plastic was now flowing in the wind off the back of the truck in a long flow.

I didnt see it coming. I felt the plastic hit my back and run it way over my shoulders and down my arms. The icing on the cake was that the plastic decided it liked my bike so much that it would wrap itself around my wheel and front forks. I tried in vain to stop this and it wrapped itself around my hand as well. Instead of it ripping the bike out from underneath me both of us were dragged up the road around 200 mtrs only to be slammed into a wodden telephone pole. There was a tug on the plastic because the pole had a hold of me. After what seems liked a very quick game of trying to be quartered by a truck and a pole the plastic snapped leaving FAT AS* driving the truck to keep driving without noticing.


Another time I was cycling again(I must give this lark up) across where they have knocked and old scout hall down. There was debris and a very cocky looking piece of galvanise which was sticking out of the ground in a sharp point. Instead of avoiding this piece of galvanise I fell on top of it and it pierced through my inner thigh and came through the other side. It misses the royal jewels by inches. I got off of it and cycled back home using only one leg and my parents did not see the importance of a hospital so I was just bandaged up and left sit there. 3 days later the doctor was in the house treating me for fever. LOL @ Parents.

On that note, another time I dislocated my hand mess fighting with my brother. My mother did not really believe me so made me eat my lunch and then took me to hospital. 2 hours later after hearing the doctor say that my hand was completely dislocated from my wrist did she actually believe me. :mad:

Kintarō Hattori

I was working in a busy city centre shop when I came out onto the shop floor from the basement. I was making my way up the shop when I skipped over the hose from the vaccum cleaner that was in use at the time. In the middle of my 'skip' the long laces from one boot caught in the loose lace hook of my other boot so that essentially my laces were tied in mid air. I fell flat right on my face right in front of the counter.

One of the lades raced down to the security cameras and exported the incident to avi so I have a permanent reminder.