Monday Quickies

rocky25

A couple had been married for 50 years.

They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife,

"Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years."

"Yeah," she replied,

"Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."

"I know," the old man said,

"We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago."

"Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we get naked?"

Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied,

"My breasts are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."

"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.

"One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An elderly couple was driving cross-country, and the woman was driving.

She gets pulled over by the highway patrol.

The officer says, "Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?"

The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"

The old man yells, "HE SAYS YOU WERE SPEEDING."

The patrolman says, "May I see your license?"

The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"

The old man yells, "HE WANTS TO SEE YOUR LICENSE."

The woman gives him her license.

The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas.

I spent some time there once,had the worst sex with a woman I have ever had."

The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"

"HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU," the old man yells.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The government have announced that anyone who has bought any lumps
of useless Irish meat is entitled to a full refund.



Because of this, Liverpool have asked Spurs for their money back!

Podge2k7

Good ones Rock!:D

Yeah all good

staker

is the last one in the wrong forum?;)
good ones rocky!

kjt

Heard them ages ago but had forgotten them.
Thanks for the laugh!!