True Romance

cutabovetherest

Where to start, years ago I returned to my apt after a heavy drinking session in the college bar.There I was watching tv, dozing off etc and I look out the window and I spot a girl I fancy who lives in an apt across from me getting undressed.This girl is georgeous and is in the same year as myself, needless to say my curiosity was aroused so I make my way over to the window for a closer look.Anyway, after doing a double-take to make sure my drunken eyes weren't deceiving me and that it wasn't a case of wishful thinking, wake up bud etc no she was still there and now things were really getting interesting.One by one items of clothing are discarded, man was I sweating now.
There she was starkers without a care in the world, her bedroom lit up by a table lamp.She hopped on to her bed and went to her drawer and took out a dildo. Now this was years ago there was no such thing as rabbits, this yoke was more truncheon like. Wow, who needs a lotto win, she cant, she won't, will she? Right battle stations, what to do quick turn tv off, hide in the corner of room, don't ruin it now. There's still a bit of light coming in from an outside lamp but seriously who cares. My thought process was if she's cracking one off then when in Rome ...
A few minutes passed, my god you cant be serious, my friends won't believe me, this is fooked up.Diminuendo, diminuendo dont ruin it, bang all of a sudden there's a loud crash outside she jumps up,I jump up, oh no crescendo. She looks over truncheon in hand, me with Kong in one ahem two hands swimmers everywhere. Mortification, fear, excitement a whole flurry of weird and wonderful emotions. Quick hide and hide I did.
A few weeks later in the College bar and I spot her sitting with her mates, oh no now you are done for sonny. An hour or so passed and we end up bumping into each other by the toilets. After a slightly uncomfortable silence the ice was broken and 15 years later we are happily married and have two kids.

abouttobebanned

lol greatest first post ever? I think so.

Shacklebolt

Strangest first post I ever seen. Im not sure on its veracity though.

Fizman

Well played sir. A fine first post!

monkeyfudge

So the cops knew that internal affairs were setting them up?

cson

Hard to believe you've been with yore ma for so long.

javaboy

This is the most disappointing sex story I've ever read. You built it up so well but the ending was just so disappointing.

Orange69

Yawn.. i cant read that crap.. learn to write properly and put spaces between sentences..

SoWatchaWant

That made me smile.

tman

Was great up until the last part... Way to ruin a perfectly good story

gerrycollins

well done, well done

Berty

Well as long as you finished then thats all that matters.

Dave!

1. Perv on some woman
2. Have a wank
3. ...
4. Success!

Galvasean

Someone registered an account for that..

Quazzie

Galvasean wrote: »

Someone registered an account for that..

Of course... Surely your sole reason for registering was to let everyone know that your wife loves to shove large inanimate object up her vag!!

Red Hand

cutabovetherest wrote: »

Where to start, years ago I returned to my apt after a heavy drinking session in the college bar.

Where to start...many years ago when I were but a heady young college fellow, full of pep and muster, I once retired to my rented chambers having spent the best part of an evening partaking in the consumption of the ale of the local taverns with my fellows.

There I was watching tv, dozing off etc and I look out the window and I spot a girl I fancy who lives in an apt across from me getting undressed.

I, unable to sleep, and being quite devilishly bored at the time, decided to engage myself in a game of solitare, but soon fell into a light sleep only to awaken to see a Most Wonderous Sight; for across the courtyard of my humble student chambers, a young Lady of the most angelic disposition was unravelling the outer shell of her sartorial crysallise.

This girl is georgeous and is in the same year as myself, needless to say my curiosity was aroused so I make my way over to the window for a closer look.

The Muses themselves would have failed to sing the praises of this gentle waif's beauty, such as they were; for though she appeared the same age as me, I could scarcely credit her being of this earth, and so, with Awe faltering my step, and Bravado propelling my legs, I made my way to the pane of glass; a lens through which this student might view such a Dear Lovely Specimen.

Anyway, after doing a double-take to make sure my drunken eyes weren't deceiving me and that it wasn't a case of wishful thinking, wake up bud etc no she was still there and now things were really getting interesting.

I had to pinch myself to make sure that this fair Leonora was in fact real, and not a mere black eyed Houri from the deep dream of Opium's Wondrous Harem-but she remained across the courtyard from me, and I remained awake; Oh Gods, Rejoice!

One by one items of clothing are discarded, man was I sweating now.

As my fair butterfly emerged from her pupa, alabastor skin blooming into life in the pale dusk, I became filled with the utmost carnal desires.

There she was starkers without a care in the world, her bedroom lit up by a table lamp.

No lovelier sight was she, as her bare form lit by a low burning candle, took on the look of one of the more erotic, yet noble Greek statues.

She hopped on to her bed and went to her drawer and took out a dildo.

Looking less like the gentle waif I'd initially seen, and more like some Siren that lured Brave Odysseus, she stretched out on her bed and took a Book Of Poetry from her bedside locker.

Now this was years ago there was no such thing as rabbits, this yoke was more truncheon like.

A well thumbed dog leafed book it appeared to be; no doubt Some Wondrous Romance set in the days of yore that so many young people enjoy reading.

Wow, who needs a lotto win, she cant, she won't, will she?

I hastened to pull up the window so as to hear her sweet voice read aloud that poem; my heart beating furiously as I wondered whether she would indeed do so?

Right battle stations, what to do quick turn tv off, hide in the corner of room, don't ruin it now. There's still a bit of light coming in from an outside lamp but seriously who cares. My thought process was if she's cracking one off then when in Rome ...
A few minutes passed, my god you cant be serious, my friends won't believe me, this is fooked up.Diminuendo, diminuendo dont ruin it, bang all of a sudden there's a loud crash outside she jumps up,I jump up, oh no crescendo. She looks over truncheon in hand, me with Kong in one ahem two hands swimmers everywhere. Mortification, fear, excitement a whole flurry of weird and wonderful emotions. Quick hide and hide I did.
A few weeks later in the College bar and I spot her sitting with her mates, oh no now you are done for sonny. An hour or so passed and we end up bumping into each other by the toilets. After a slightly uncomfortable silence the ice was broken and 15 years later we are happily married and have two kids.

But I meander so, and to my shame, I have revealed more of my self and my Base Character than I meant to; such eroticism is all well and good when recounting to Particular Friends in one's youth but highly inappropriate in a man of my age and stature. I regret my revealations of that evening.

Those days are a Far Off Shore and ones that I may never revisit but in my slumberous dreams.

However, that Beauty, that Wonderous Leonora that I glimpst unbeknownst to her in that dusky eve, was to become my wife in later years, and no greater companion to me could ever have been found, a woman of singular beauty and intellignce; dearest to me in every way.

And she's quite the Demon in the Sack.

Tigger

offers €100 to ssf if they expose who this is

Crash

Would've been better if you hadn't managed to misspell Demon at the last minute

monkeyfudge

Going Forward wrote: »

Would've been better if you hadn't managed to misspell Demon at the last minute

DeMom is just another way of saying YoreMa!

Red Hand

Going Forward wrote: »

Would've been better if you hadn't managed to misspell Demon at the last minute

I've corrected my misspelling my Dear Fellow; thanks ever so much to your vigilence in the Defense of Our Noble Language.

Crash

Ahem....Vigilance

Edit: wait a minute, **** that. I will NOT become a grammer nazi.

Red Hand

Going Forward wrote: »

Ahem....Vigilance

Edit: wait a minute, **** that. I will NOT become a grammer nazi.

A subscriber to Dr Johnson's Grand Book; I salute you, Sir!

brianthebard

Going Forward wrote: »

Ahem....Vigilance

Edit: wait a minute, **** that. I will NOT become a grammer nazi.

And you spelt grammar wrong to prove it? AWww, poor thing....

Crash

*WHOOSH*

cutabovetherest

javaboy wrote: »

This is the most disappointing sex story I've ever read. You built it up so well but the ending was just so disappointing.

I apologise, should I change the ending?

Orange69 wrote: »

Yawn.. i cant read that crap.. learn to write properly and put spaces between sentences..

Again I apologise and I would be grateful for any additional writing tips that you may wish to share.

cutabovetherest

Tigger wrote: »

offers €100 to ssf if they expose who this is

what's ssf and why would you wish for my name to be made public?

FlutterinBantam

Probably to put you up against a wall and shoot you.

4zn76tysfajdxp

cutabovetherest wrote: »

I apologise, should I change the ending?


Again I apologise and I would be grateful for any additional writing tips that you may wish to share.

cutabovetherest wrote: »

what's ssf and why would you wish for my name to be made public?

What the hell? Your first post was all slangy and hip, and now you're a as stiff as Benton Fraser in a starch *insert action relating to starch use here*! Are you the same man as last night?

cutabovetherest

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Probably to put you up against a wall and shoot you.

Wow,thanks for the warm welcome. A real life tough guy well played sir.

FlutterinBantam

Aaah sorry Don't take things to heart in here.

My apologies.

Dave!

cutabovetherest wrote: »

what's ssf and why would you wish for my name to be made public?

We just want to make sure you don't live near our sisters/mothers/cousins/girlfriends

monkeyfudge

Dave! wrote: »

We just want to make sure you don't live near our sisters/mothers/cousins/girlfriends

Or in any house containing windows.

MagicMarker

Your wife must be some dog if she married the guy perving on her from his window.

AnonoBoy

Am I the only one reading this thread with the Hans Zimmer track playing in my head?

hullaballoo

cutabovetherest wrote: »

Where to start, years ago I returned to my apt after a heavy drinking session in the college bar....and 15 years later we are happily married and have two kids.

D...dad?