My life is over

K'NEDZ · 11-12-2008 2:29pm #1

I am a fairly normal - at least I think so - fifteen year old. Like most guys my age, I am a virgin, but I probably have less contact with girls than would be typical. I go to an all boys school and haven't got any sisters. Any girl friends I had as a kid have pretty much left me and everyone else my age behind, and now only hang out with guys who are in college, or have jobs, or cars, or something else to offer them. I went to my first disco and had my first kiss just a few weeks ago and I have been on cloud nine ever since.

Well, yesterday evening I was at home watching Home and Away and just messing around with the dog on the living room floor and I found myself getting one of these random boners that seem to just happen for no particular reason. There was nobody in the house so I thought why not just crack one off there and then. So I knelt down and got busy and I was thinking about the girl I got the kiss off and was imagining things going further with her and all that. I felt I was going to squirt and started to look around on the floor to make sure I aimed it onto the wooden part where I could wipe it up easily. The dog was in the way!

I had totally forgotten about her, but she was lying on her back with her paws in the air just in front of me. I could see her c*nt and was kind of transfixed by it, and, before I could do anything about it, I just shot my load all over her. She kind of yelped and gave me this upset look and got up and left the room. I called after her, and was going to go after her to apologise, but had to clean myself up first. Then the worst moment of my life came

I was there wiping myself off with a bit of newspaper when I heard a rap from the window. Three of my mates were there, laughing their heads off, and one of them, Maurice, was aiming his phone at me. He had obviously filmed the whole thing. I ran out to get the phone off him and delete it. They were already running down the driveway when I got to the door and I sprinted after them as fast as I could. Just as they got out the gate, my dad pulled in

I have been kind of fighting with him for the past while over my schoolwork and was supposed to be studying. He flashed his lights at me to let me know to get back in the house but I kept running. He stopped his car and opened the door and roared at me louder than I have ever heard him to get back in the house. I could hear the lads laughing and shouting at each other and knew I wasn't going to catch them anyway, so gave up and went back in. He confiscated my phone and disconnected my internet until after the Christmas exams, so I haven't seen any of the texts that they must have sent.

I tried to get out of school today, but Dad wasn't having any of it, and insisted on giving me a lift in and watching me walk through the gates. I ran straight into the toilets and locked myself in a cublicle. After ten minutes I sprinted back out the gates and have been hanging around town since. It's the first time I have done this, and I'm terrified of getting caught. I'm in an internet shop now. I know it must be up on Bebo. The Chinaman running this place is giving me funny looks, but I can't bring myself to check. I seriously feel that I can't ever face anyone ever again, and the only option for me is to run away.

I know where Dad keeps some emergency cash at home but don't know where to go or what to do once I get it. How long would 5,000 last me, and where could I go with it? Please don't say to go back and face it. I just can't.

Cookie_Monster · 11-12-2008 2:32pm

PI is thata way

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

slipss · 11-12-2008 2:33pm

...

petes · 11-12-2008 2:33pm

How were you going to apologise to the dog? Cuddle?

Peyton Manning · 11-12-2008 2:33pm

Your life may be over, but after hearing that story, my life is complete. Thank you.

Karl Hungus · 11-12-2008 2:34pm

K'NEDZ wrote: »

don't know where to go

Ring up directory enquiries and see where the nearest dog shelter is? :pac:

slipss · 11-12-2008 2:34pm

Man is this a serious story? I can't decide if you're taking the piss or not....if it is serious why would anyone on earth post it on after hours, you know what the response would be. So I'm gonna take this as a wind up..

Économiste Monétaire · 11-12-2008 2:34pm

Quality comedy. Thanks.

Varkov · 11-12-2008 2:34pm

Did you.....did you...put it in her?

Biggins · 11-12-2008 2:34pm

Speechless!

wtf!

Frisbee · 11-12-2008 2:34pm

Fantastic.

ibtl

gnolan · 11-12-2008 2:35pm

Fantsastic.....thats given me a good laugh!

TestTransmission · 11-12-2008 2:35pm

Its happened to the best of us OP

Prof.Badass · 11-12-2008 2:35pm

good troll

!

Danbo! · 11-12-2008 2:35pm

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

PI is thata way
>>>>>>>>>>>>>

You'll have to excuse my friend, he's a little slow.

<<<<<

PI is that way.

Smellyirishman · 11-12-2008 2:36pm

OP wrote:

I am a fairly normal - at least I think so - fifteen year old. Like most guys my age, I am a virgin, but I probably have less contact with girls than would be typical. I go to an all boys school and haven't got any sisters. Any girl friends I had as a kid have pretty much left me and everyone else my age behind, and now only hang out with guys who are in college, or have jobs, or cars, or something else to offer them. I went to my first disco and had my first kiss just a few weeks ago and I have been on cloud nine ever since.

Well, yesterday evening I was at home watching Home and Away and just messing around with the dog on the living room floor and I found myself getting one of these random boners that seem to just happen for no particular reason. There was nobody in the house so I thought why not just crack one off there and then. So I knelt down and got busy and I was thinking about the girl I got the kiss off and was imagining things going further with her and all that. I felt I was going to squirt and started to look around on the floor to make sure I aimed it onto the wooden part where I could wipe it up easily. The dog was in the way!

I had totally forgotten about her, but she was lying on her back with her paws in the air just in front of me. I could see her c*nt and was kind of transfixed by it, and, before I could do anything about it, I just shot my load all over her. She kind of yelped and gave me this upset look and got up and left the room. I called after her, and was going to go after her to apologise, but had to clean myself up first. Then the worst moment of my life came

I was there wiping myself off with a bit of newspaper when a couple of guys who were up to no good,
Started making trouble in my neighbourhood.
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared,
And said you're moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air

You forgot this OP.

Cookie_Monster · 11-12-2008 2:36pm

On the plus side I hear Mauritania is nice this time of year, cheap too!

The_Minister · 11-12-2008 2:37pm

This was already deleted from PI.

It may be deleted from here too.

Biggins · 11-12-2008 2:38pm

Your next new best friend goes by the name of "Ryan Air".
He'll be a cheap friend. Go see him soon.

anniehoo · 11-12-2008 2:38pm

Varkov wrote: »

Did you.....did you...put it in her?

Get the feck over to PI with this crap or Animal and Pet for a really good thrashin!!:mad:

If your're a troll it worked on me...sick!:eek::mad:

Hellm0 · 11-12-2008 2:38pm

You deviant, marry that poor dog and make an honest b*tch out of her!

Kid's these days.

Cookie_Monster · 11-12-2008 2:38pm

noblestee wrote: »

You'll have to excuse my friend, he's a little slow.

<<<<<
PI is that way.

SOC is right of REC:P

The_Minister · 11-12-2008 2:39pm

noblestee wrote: »

You'll have to excuse my friend, he's a little slow.

<<<<<
PI is that way.

No, the soc category is that way

>

oztots · 11-12-2008 2:39pm

Links to the vid?

At least hes a good troll!

Doc · 11-12-2008 2:40pm

I smell a troll but... If anything gets posted up on Bebo report it and just post a comment saying that you saw the guy who filmed it **** off outside your window when you looked around and that he was filming it too while he was looking at you. Ask what he was doing outside your house at night in the bushes filming you if he denies it. Tell everyone you have been getting texts and e-mails off him all the time asking if he can come over.

5T3PH3N · 11-12-2008 2:41pm

If you haven't looked at your Bebo yet give us the link of and i'll check it for you:)

January · 11-12-2008 2:41pm

It's a good thing I'm in labour already or this would have sent me over the edge...

Brilliant story... obviously a troll!

rossie1977 · 11-12-2008 2:41pm

wow long first post

Cliffs?? i ain't reading all that :eek:

Duiske · 11-12-2008 2:42pm

Hellm0 wrote: »

You deviant, marry that poor dog and make an honest b*tch out of her!

.

Ah c'mon now.. No need to be so ruff on the lad.
Having said that though, Spanking the monkey with yo biatch spread-eagle on the floor in front of you, AND with the blinds open ? You have to be completely barking !!