My mum is warped

darling.x

My mam can be annoying in that she asks a load of Qs about everything.

Lets call a guy a mechanic. I go to him from time 2 time.

He gave me something on loan a few wks ago and hes calling tonight for it back.

I mentioned it to my mam in case i won't be at home. My mam starts asking her 40 Qs about this. I told her enough + i wasn't in the mood for answerings.

She jumped to the wrong conclusion saying that i'm havin an affair with him and that she is goin 2 tell his wife. Which i'm not. What do i do

MagicMarker

Answer the questions or move out.

Thomas_S_Hunterson

Ok well I can't disagree with the thread title.

What age are you? Is it time to move out?

seamus

Some people are just exceptionally nosey and when it comes to family they believe they have a right to know every little detail.

It's time to move out. You're an adult (clearly) and you deserve your own privacy. While you live under your mother's roof, she'll still consider you a dependent (you are) and feel entitled to know everything about what you're doing.

darling.x

She has this notion in her head and she may ruin everything for this man - his work, his new marriage. And theres nothing going on between us.

She may also run out and give this man (a stranger to her) abuse tonight. I wouldn't put it past her.

Hes calling tonight and because my mam has this notion she doesn't want him anywhere near the house.
Ffs hes calling to me to get something that he owns back, not to put his dirty hands on her.

shellyboo

darling.x wrote: »

She has this notion in her head and she may ruin everything for this man - his work, his new marriage. And theres nothing going on between us.

She may also run out and give this man (a stranger to her) abuse tonight. I wouldn't put it past her.

Hes calling tonight and because my mam has this notion she doesn't want him anywhere near the house.
Ffs hes calling to me to get something that he owns back, not to put his dirty hands on her.

So answer her questions. Why are you borrowing this from this bloke? What's the big secret? If it's innocent, tell her, if it's not, then she's right to be asking questions, isn't she?

Her house, her rules. If you want to live life your own way, you need to move out.

Zulu

Grow up.
Treat you mum with some respect.
Answer her questions.

Or, don't use your mum as a personal secretary and move out.

crazzzzy

thats mothers for you!!! they want to know everything thats goin on.

the problem with not telling her anything is that shes trying to figure it out for herself & coming up with some mad ideas.

my mother drives me mad asking questions....whats worse is she questions everyone i bring to the house aswell :eek:

try get on with her coz you've only one mother. give her limited info if she asks.

what age are you? i found between 18-25 i could have killed my mom but now im alot more tolerant. the more you let her in on stuff the easier it is.

you will have to explain whats going on with this guy & maybe tell him shes got this idea in her head.

John Mason

have you had affairs with married men before? is this why your mother jumped to this conclusion?

and why didnt you just tell her why you had it. if she is handing it back for you, she had the right to ask questions

That Girl..

Oh my god....some people:rolleyes:

Anyway i know the feeling. I think it is time for you to move out if you're mam is being like this.

I honestly woul;dn't be able to live with that, why does she have to be so difficult??
Was she always like this?

Overheal

Sounds like my dad. I tried going on a blind date and after 20 questions and 10 possible worst case scenarios later he gave me a switchblade just in case she tried to kidnap me "with 3 of her black friends"

-_-

Parents just worry. Answer their questions, as its the least you can do for everything they do. If it really bothers you that much then its time to move out.

wasper

darling.x wrote: »

She has this notion in her head and she may ruin everything for this man - his work, his new marriage. And theres nothing going on between us.

She may also run out and give this man (a stranger to her) abuse tonight. I wouldn't put it past her.

Hes calling tonight and because my mam has this notion she doesn't want him anywhere near the house.
Ffs hes calling to me to get something that he owns back, not to put his dirty hands on her.

For a start, call the man & arrange to meet him somewhere else.
Then face your mother & satisfy her curiosity. You mother sounds like a trouble maker. Is there a father or another member of the family living in the house. They might be able to calm her down.

Wagon

Zulu wrote: »

Grow up.
Treat you mum with some respect.
Answer her questions.

Or, don't use your mum as a personal secretary and move out.

Little bit harsh eh? Her mother should respect her privacy, mine does. Even though i get the few questions.

But OP, I agree completely with the moving out. Some people are just nosy. Yore ma is one of them. you need your own place.

Motley Crue

darling.x wrote: »

Lets call a guy a mechanic. I go to him from time 2 time.

Does this mean he might be the kind of person who tends to your body, or fixes your needs, because I am afraid that going to a guy from time to time means he is either your lover, your boyfriend or your drug dealer

u are quite vague in your description

darling.x wrote: »

He gave me something on loan a few wks ago and hes calling tonight for it back.

hearing this, i would take it to mean he has given you some kind of drug paraphanlia, like a bong or something....if this isnt the case...they why cant the loan of an item simply be returned

Zulu

Wagon wrote: »

Little bit harsh eh? Her mother should respect her privacy, mine does. Even though i get the few questions.

Not really.
She's asking her mum to do something for her.
Her mother, albeit concerned, has agreed to do it, and asked some questions.
She "told her enough" and hadn't the courtesy to answer her questions.
The mother jumps to a conclusion, but instead of answering the questions to dismiss any conclusions the mother might have drawn, what has she done?

Come on to an internet site calling her "warped".

It's not respectful. It's not mature. It's not cool.
The whole situation could have been avoided by answering the questions, or by simply have the responsibility to make sure she was at home when she arranged for your man "lets call a mechanic (what? Is he a mechanic or not??)" to call over to her mothers house.

If she's going to live with other people (particularity people who are supporting her) she needs to learn to manage her own life, and if she can't manage to keep an appointment, than she needs to realise that asking other people to do things for her have consequences - like loads of questions from her mother.

Live with it, or move out. Don't come onto an internet site and disrespect your own mother over something so trivial.

Jack Sheehan

Uh...move out?

LegacyUser

Look, IMHO, if you don't want your mother to pry, don't be asking her to do things like this. If someone I was close to (brother, sister, friend) and lived with asked me to give something to someone who would be calling by, I'd probably have a question or two as well.

Your mom is probably worried about you and obviously no one likes to be snooped on. But she probably wouldn't have been so worked up if you had answered her questions honestly and not got yourself so worked up about her asking you questions. Next time, do your own errands or whatever yourself to avoid feeling irritated when she inevitably asks you questions.

Also, if your mother is so 'warped', perhaps you should look at moving out of her gaff. Just a thought.

Wagon

Zulu wrote: »

Not really.
She's asking her mum to do something for her.
Her mother, albeit concerned, has agreed to do it, and asked some questions.
She "told her enough" and hadn't the courtesy to answer her questions.
The mother jumps to a conclusion, but instead of answering the questions to dismiss any conclusions the mother might have drawn, what has she done?

Come on to an internet site calling her "warped".

It's not respectful. It's not mature. It's not cool.
The whole situation could have been avoided by answering the questions, or by simply have the responsibility to make sure she was at home when she arranged for your man "lets call a mechanic (what? Is he a mechanic or not??)" to call over to her mothers house.

If she's going to live with other people (particularity people who are supporting her) she needs to learn to manage her own life, and if she can't manage to keep an appointment, than she needs to realise that asking other people to do things for her have consequences - like loads of questions from her mother.

Live with it, or move out. Don't come onto an internet site and disrespect your own mother over something so trivial.

Yeah pretty good point. But the mother going on about how she's having an affair with him and how she'll tell his wife is a bit mental, you can't deny that. Unless the OP has done something like it before. Has she any reason to throw this in your face darling.x?

The Corinthian

I had the same problem when I was younger... gave my mother a gun, told her to hide it for me... next thing I know it's, like, twenty questions. I mean, she could have been hiding the gun or doing my laundry in the time it took to interrogate me.

Some people are just so high maintenance.

Seriously though; why would she think you're having an affair with him? While your mother could well be a nutjob, I think there's details to your story that are simply missing. And really, if you don't want her to interrogate you, you really should get your own place.

darling.x

Back again. I didn't want 2 give 2 much info away because i think hes on boards. but feck it, i will.

He gave me a car dvd. I cant return it coz my car is trashed.

I told my mam where it was and asked her 2 give it back if he calls and i'm not at home.

I never had an affair before. The reason she thinks this is because she was talking 2 a lady yesterday who told her that this man made a pass at her daughter. And now my mam wants 2 intervene and tell his wife because dad was having affairs for years.

Thomas_S_Hunterson

sounds like a soap opera

darling.x

I just want my mam to stay out from it because she doesn't know anything about his situation.

darling.x

Sean_K wrote: »

sounds like a soap opera

It does, but its real.

username123

darling.x wrote: »

I just want my mam to stay out from it because she doesn't know anything about his situation.

Then dont be asking her to deal with him when he comes to collect his dvd.

I dont know if you realise how disrespectful you are being to your mother on here. She sounds totally normal - calling her warped is just bad form. Perhaps one day if you have a daughter you will realise that its normal for a mammy to be asking questions if they think a daughter is keeping questionable company.

I think youve brought the whole thing on yourself. If you dont like your mother questioning you then move out and deal with your own social engagements of dvd collecting.

themadchef

I'm wondering how you know this guy. He's obviously not a family friend or your mother would know him. He sounds older, alot older than you.

Ive no idea how old you are, but you don't sound all that mature or world wise and i assure you your mother is. She clearly has your best intentions at heart.
You're young, you see it as snooping, as wrecking your buzz. She's trying to protect you. If you don't want to live by her rules, and cannot respect her wishes...move out. Otherwise, try and see things from a worried mothers point of view and live under her roof by whatever rules she sets.

Can you explain what type of relationship you have with this guy? Just very curious as to why a married older guy would be involved socially with a much younger girl. Somethings not making much sense...maybe its just me, but i think it's odd.

darling.x

Since i didnt want to give to much info away at the start i called him a mechanic for the thread. He's really my driving instructor. He may use boards and just in case i called him a mechanic.

I go to him for lessons and nothing sociable. Hes actually very young and not much older than me.

My mam gave me terrible grieve about the man calling. I had visions of her running out and abusing him when he called. Its something she would do.
But all went well. She stayed inside and i went out as i was home.

TheZohanS

darling.x wrote: »

I just want my mam to stay out from it because she doesn't know anything about his situation.

There's way more to this than you're letting on.

If you want good advice you're going to have to give some more background information.

Have you ever been with him? Is he splitting up with his o/h?

darling.x

TheZohan wrote: »

There's way more to this than you're letting on.

If you want good advice you're going to have to give some more background information.

Have you ever been with him? Is he splitting up with his o/h?

My mam was talking to some busybody and was told that he made a pass at his daughter. And mam wants to take it into her own hands now and let his wife know. Thats all.

Never been with the man. And hes newly married and not living long in the area.

themadchef

darling.x wrote: »

I go to him for lessons and nothing sociable. QUOTE]

Ok. You have a professional relationship with him. Him lending you CD's or whatever it was is social, not professional. Bringing him to your mothers house is not professional. To say you don't have a sociable relationship is not accurate.

Even if she knows he's a driving instructor... she has every right to be worried about the relationship imo considering she knows he's a married man

TheZohanS

I see.

You said that your mam doesn't know anything about his situation, what do you know about it that she doesn't?

darling.x

themadchef wrote: »

darling.x wrote: »

I go to him for lessons and nothing sociable. QUOTE]

Ok. You have a professional relationship with him. Him lending you CD's or whatever it was is social, not professional. Bringing him to your mothers house is not professional. To say you don't have a sociable relationship is not accurate.

Even if she knows he's a driving instructor... she has every right to be worried about the relationship imo considering she knows he's a married man

Eric Cartman

darling.x wrote: »

My mam can be annoying in that she asks a load of Qs about everything.

Lets call a guy a mechanic. I go to him from time 2 time.

He gave me something on loan a few wks ago and hes calling tonight for it back.

I mentioned it to my mam in case i won't be at home. My mam starts asking her 40 Qs about this. I told her enough + i wasn't in the mood for answerings.

She jumped to the wrong conclusion saying that i'm havin an affair with him and that she is goin 2 tell his wife. Which i'm not. What do i do

move out, it works wonders

darling.x

TheZohan wrote: »

I see.

You said that your mam doesn't know anything about his situation, what do you know about it that she doesn't?

I want my mam to simply ignore what she heard yesterday and not to go ahead and cause trouble for the man by tracking down his wife and telling her.

BroomBurner

Just be straight with your mam, tell her that gossip leads nowhere good and as he hasn't done anything with you, then she doesn't have the right to interfere.

Your mam is probably a mixture of worried and sanctimonious, so just be as straight as you can be with her.

To the zohan, stop trying to make out there's more to this, maybe there just isnt.

The Sweeper

So it's unprofessional to have your driving instructor call to the place where you live now, is it?

So where is he normally supposed to collect her from?

Massive overreaction from both the OP's ma and the conspiracy theorists tbh.

Overheal

darling.x wrote: »

I want my mam to simply ignore what she heard yesterday and not to go ahead and cause trouble for the man by tracking down his wife and telling her.

If you really want to save that happy couple grief: divulge all to your mother. Its about as fun as swallowing cough syrup but its for the best.

themadchef

Minesajackdaniels wrote: »

So it's unprofessional to have your driving instructor call to the place where you live now, is it?

So where is he normally supposed to collect her from?

Massive overreaction from both the OP's ma and the conspiracy theorists tbh.

If she's being as vague with her mother as she was at the start of this thread i can see why her mother needed forty questions to get a straight answer.

As for it being unprofessional her driving instructor to call to her house. Imo, yes, at just before 8pm not on "driving instructor business" so it was unprofessional. If he was her teacher, and he gave her a CD or DVD and was calling round at 8 oclock at night you wouldint deem that unprofessional?

TripleAce

My God I can't believe this is actually a personal issue! :eek:

Trinity

My mother was similar, and to be honest i regret not listening to her in the past but anyway.

Ok so she heard rumours about this guy, she knows you are alone in a car with him, hes loaned you something of his etc.

To you and I its very simple and innocent. To your mam this man is trying to take advantage of her daughter.

An over protective parent is very hard to deal with, however you really need to sit down and talk to her. She needs boundaries and you have to tell her to trust you.

Not answering her questions is going to raise her suspicions and make things worse for you and her and everyone.

Right now you feel you shoudlnt have to answer to anyone at your age and i understand that but for the sake of your relationship. Sit her down, explain the situation, tell her the damage she will be doing to this mans family by jumping the gun. Tell her you are hurt she doesnt trust you.

When you move out the relationship will change but i bet underneath it all your mam only has your best interest at heart whatever mad way she goes about it.

Communicate with the woman. I ruined years of my life with this sort of **** and all she wanted was a bit of reassurance that i wasnt ruining my life but i was too busy thinking i knew it all and she was a controlling cnut to be honest. Now i know better and wish i could take those years back.

I have a great relationship with her now and it breaks my heart at this time of year to see all the threads about people that have lost a parent and how they wish they could have them back but cant so i appreciate her everyday now.