Surname solution

peeppeep

Hi there,

I am getting married next year and myself and my partner were not sure how to solve the surname problem. I do not feel I should have to take his name, nor did he want to take mine. So we have proposed a new solution: making up a new surname that we will both legally adopt and give to our kids.

Has anyone else done this yet? How did it work out?

Eoin

I do not feel I should have to take his name, nor did he want to take mine

Some people just want to - it's not all about obligation, but I think we're going to get a whole sexist thread all over again.

Why bother with the made up name and just keep your respective surnames? Unless the new name will be something cool like:

smelltheglove

Hmmmm, I love my name and didnt think I'd get around to using his but I just automatically did. We have 2 kids, one mine from a previous, she has my nanem, the second has his. THis is not an ideal situation, people asking why do you have a different name etc, but we gave her the choice and she likes her name and wanted to keep it.

You could go double barralled, there is a new thing about changing names by deed poll, I dont think it is as easy as it used to be, I know my step brother wanted to change his surname to our family name but never went ahead as it was hard to do whereas your husband could keep using his name and you could add his onto yours, then you would be entitled to give the double barrell name to your children also.

Honestly though I would wait until you are married to think about it. As I said I didnt think I would, my sister was the same, but once married we just did without thought.

Alias B

peeppeep wrote: »

Hi there,

I am getting married next year and myself and my partner were not sure how to solve the surname problem. I do not feel I should have to take his name, nor did he want to take mine. So we have proposed a new solution: making up a new surname that we will both legally adopt and give to our kids.

Has anyone else done this yet? How did it work out?

I know a couple whose pre-marrital names were McEvoy and Kenna so they decided to go with McKenna which fitted nicely! I think if you have two names that could work in harmony go for it!! :D:D

miles teg

peeppeep wrote: »

Hi there,
... I do not feel I should have to take his name...

I'm sure he felt he should not have to fork out a few grand on a shiny bit of rock that's of no use to him but he did it for you anyway ... taking his name seems like the better end of the deal.
If you really don't want to though, just keep your name and he keep his...making up a name seems silly

mikeanywhere

miles teg wrote: »

just keep your name and he keep his...making up a name seems silly

Totally agree but then everyone is different!! That's what my wife and I did even though every now and then she asks do I mind that she never took my surname lol!!

TripleAce

If you do decide to go ahead this thread could be of some help :

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055437057

seamus

Odd, I never heard of the "new surname" idea before. Seems odd to me unless you both aren't mad about either of your respective surnames.

My OH decided when we got married that she wouldn't take my surname, but the kids would. I just shrugged and said, "Cool". It's not a big deal for me tbh - in my eyes she'll always have the name she does now. If she changes her surname, she becomes my mother!

NextSteps

By doing this you'll both lose your own surnames, which is a tie to your family, your history and where (geographically and otherwise) you come from. Are you sure you'd want to do that? I know all surnames were made up at some stage, but I for one wouldn't want to lose that link with tradition.

Why not just each keep your own surnames?

hunnymonster

seamus wrote: »

My OH decided when we got married that she wouldn't take my surname, but the kids would. I just shrugged and said, "Cool". It's not a big deal for me tbh - in my eyes she'll always have the name she does now. If she changes her surname, she becomes my mother!

I'm not getting married for another year but that's currently my reasoning. Each to their own though.

mikeanywhere

hunnymonster wrote: »

I'm not getting married for another year but that's currently my reasoning. Each to their own though.

Because she is going to become your mother??? :P :eek:

Sorry, couldnt resist!! Good luck for next year tho.

Emerald Lass

i wont be taking my partners name fully - hes foreign and i know that if I take on his name I will have to endure explaining how to pronounce it and spell it almost daily. So when in Ireland I'll still be Ms. Emerald. however, when in turkey I will use his name - for the same reason - my surname begins with a W and they just can't pronounce that over there or spell my surname now, so I think I will be a woman with two seperate surnames for many years! no idea what we'll do when the kids come along!

LinoRichie

peeppeep wrote: »

So we have proposed a new solution: making up a new surname that we will both legally adopt and give to our kids

no offence or anything but that's just ridiculous