Irrational Fears / OCD

LegacyUser

Let me start by saying I know a lot about OCD, have suffered from it since early teens, but had managed to get a handle on things. I used to wash myself frequently but had gotten better, however I can sense things starting to get on top of me again.

My real problem is that I am a dad of two boys, living with my gf for past 8 years, very happy and content, or as much as I will ever be.

I love my two boys SO much it's scary. My dad is an alcholic who got thrown out of my house when I was just 13. I worry about my eldest all the time in particular. He's almost 6, very well behaved and sensitive. I know everyone worries about their kids, but my thoughts gather this crazy pace, and I can't seem to control them.

If I can give an example, I was away the weekend and we were going by boat - the missus wanted to bring the lads out on deck ( which was well protected with railings etc ), but I get this almost panic attack of what if they slip, fall over, I have to jump in but can't save them etc, etc. It is like a tornado picking up pace and i can't stop it. It is terrible to live through, really draining.

I also have crazy thoughts, like what would happen if I shouted out at the pictures, or my biggest fear like what if I lost control some night and killed them - it's absolute madness, I am the most timid person and would not even hurt people I don't like.

I don't know what the answers or causes are, but I am becoming very fearful and unhappy, and not enjoying them for the joy they bring me.

JuliusCaesar

Intrusive thoughts can be a feature of OCD. Please go to ocdireland.org, and look up support groups/treatment options.

LegacyUser

First off, you are not going to do anything to your kids or anyone else, these are just thoughts that are a part of your OCD. Pure O as it called.

The best way to deal with these thoughts is to realise that they are absolute rubbish, and are in no way a reflection of yourself, personality or anything you might do now or in the future.

Dr. Jeffery Schwartz has written a book to help people deal with OCD. You can get a brief outline of it here.
http://www.ocduk.org/2/foursteps.htm

You can also order the book on Amazon
http://www.amazon.com/Brain-Lock-Yourself-Obsessive-Compulsive-Behavior/dp/0060987111

LegacyUser

thanks a million for links guys, will order that book today.

alo1587

They are very common thoughts/problems that everyone experiences, its just that people with OCD have trouble dismissing them and it plays on their mind.By the way, people that have OCD are even less likely to carry out the action than people that don't have OCD! Regards.