Think its time to walk away, regardless of how hard it will be

LegacyUser

Hey everyone. I just need some advice on a situation I am in .

IL give abit of background first. For over the past 2 and a half years I have been really close with this guy,wat started out as friends lead to a much deeper relationship. we were always together and were the couple without the title for over 2 years. And this was always because he would never talk about how he was feeling, but i took the actions speak louder than words sinario. We have had some great times together and i really do love and care for this person. But he hasn always been the easiest person to have around his hot and cold attitudes and the fact he doesnt talk about his feelings watsoeverleft me in the dark at time but we always over came it.

I haven been exactly the most open with him myself but again actions speakin louder than words came into play again. So i understand im a porportion of the blame. We have overcame some really horrible situations and at a few occasions i had given him the chance to end it all and to jus carry on without each other but he never did, still 2 years down the line there still was no title on our relationshp and even tho that really botherd me i nevr brought it up with him.. i kno foolish..

recently he has been extremely distant and im lost at to wat to think about this.. every time i see him we have a good time so i dont really wanna bring up stuff that would ruin the day. But the fact iv been bearly seein him now i feel that its time to ask whats up and im afraid i wont like wat il hear

any advice on how to approach the situation. Im not really a shy person but wen it came to him i am extremely.

advice is really appreciated ere! Thanks!

Queencake

You say ye are really close but hun if you don't feel able to talk to him about how he feels about you, that you're still shy after over 2 years you aren't really.

- You need to walk away
- Cut ALL contact every last bit. Otherwise it'll take forever to get over it
- Go out and have fun and meet loadsa new fellas. Fellas who will be straight with you

Eric Cartman

maybee say it to him, why have you become distant, is it a situation where you dont se eachother any more because of circumstance /?

LegacyUser

Eric... College did become an issue where we were both busy at diferent times..But like not that busy for hardly any contact..

dunno if his distance is sayin hes done or wat..

i kno il have to talk to him about it soon.. jus needed some opinions for an idea how to approach him!

Thanks for ur reply !

estar

it takes all types. some men are great at communicating and some arent. I have some questions for you - why have you put his need for silence or being vague ahead of your need for some clarity and direction? why do you feel shy around him? why can't you be free and be yourself? how do you feel about yourself?

these are important questions - i think you know the answer you might get regarding the current relationship - and i for one partly hope he sets you free so that you can discover what lead you to put aside your own needs so completely to make other people happy.

you need to think about that before you start this pattern again with another man.

you deserve to be yourself, enhanced by a relationship, not hemmed in, restricted, on tenter hooks regarding your future. the right man will make the effort to listen and anticipate your needs

best of luck

LegacyUser

Thanks for your reply!

yea i understand and your exactly right!

I have tried many times to talk to him and if really needed id make him listen. Its jus that because he gives nothin back i jus felt why bother
and i guess got to a stage where talkin bout each others feelings wasnt a thing we done.

He was always the one who started the relationship he started everythin, I nevr made a first move.

Maybe hed appreciate me talkin to him about it. who knows..

I will soon tho.. just want some advice before hand!

Thanks tho.. Your reply helped!

Mr. Incognito

Sounds like he's just stringing you along and using you for sex. If he was into you he'd open up. He's keeping his distance because he can't see it going anywhere long term.

Sorry.

As a fella, I've seen my mates do it to birds all the time. You have f buddies that you keep at arms length. If he was into you, you'd know about it.

Best move on love.

Shelllz

Mr Incognito is right I gotta tell you! I came to my senses last night and finished with a guy who was keeping me at arms length! was seeing him for ages but realized that it was going nowhere and it wasn't what I wanted anymore!

Something is either moving forward or its not, and what we had was going nowhere fast!

You need to decide what you want and act accordingly! Put yourself first! accept nothing but the best for yourself.........you've got to be happy in life and if this relationship is not making you happy you've got to move on!

Thats my 2 cents anyway! good luck with it!