boyfriend troubles...

LegacyUser

ok just need to get some advice on this and to try and stop thinking about it!
so, long story short was with my boyfriend for two years, had our ups and downs and finally broke it off three weeks ago. i didnt want to but i knew i had to for a number of reasons, he makes no effort whatsoever with my family and friends and recently me eg anytime we are together he sits playing the xbox which i hate and if i sugggest doing something like cinema, shopping etc he doesnt want to.
he smokes hash at least 5 days a week which gets on my nerves and makes him so moody and hes starting to look terrible i.e dark circles around his eyes, soo skinny and gaunt and everyone has noticed. so eventually his mother kicked him out and hes now living in a flat with his friend which is even worse for his smoking habits.
i told him id get back with him if he copped himself on a bit, ie not be so moody and make an effort but he says he needs 'time'.
this is more of a rant than anything but i just think if he really loved me he would be willing to change a bit? i just dont see how a couple of months is going to change anything!
should i just forget about him?

Doc

Yes move on, he will only change when he is ready if at all not because you asked him to.

You sound like you know this already though.

Koushki

You cannot change somebody. Ever. It's up to him if he wants to change. Give him a bit of time to cop on and realize that he's a being stupid. If he doesn't want to change, there's no point as you'll always be disappointed.
best of luck.

LegacyUser

If he really wanted to get back he would make an effort to change imo

LegacyUser

he's testing you,
he wants to see if you'll give in and then he won't have to change ... either that or he may not want to change, smoking hash and playing x-box may be all he wants from life at this moment. Don't take it personally.

Serafina_jah

Maybe a few months apart might help him. He might realise how unreasonable & neglectful of your feelings he has been. I wouldn't hold your breath though. He sounds pretty messed up and seems he's in a very dark place at the moment. You've suggested he change his ways so now it's up to him to sort himself out.

In my opinion, you should distance yourself for now, keep busy and def move on. There's no point in waiting around and wallowing, it's too negative. It may sound selfish but I think you should look after yourself and search for your own bit of happiness in life. Try keep busy so as not to dwell on thoughts of him. It's really difficult and only time will help. Best of look

Varkov

Get a new one.