When should I propose?

consolidated

Hi, I am planning to ask my girlfriend to marry me around christmas (I do not think she knows but it would probably not come as a surprise I think since we are together 10 years) but I need some advice on the timing.

I will be going back home to Wales for 2 weeks on the Monday before christmas, and she will be coming over to spend new years with me and my family (every other year I come back over here for the New Year Party, every second she goes over to my family).

If I leave her the ring here as her present then I will not be here to see her face when she opens it.

If I give her a 'fake' present for under the tree and then give her the ring on NYE in Wales she is surrounded by my family and friends, it might be a bit overbearing or whatever.

The other option I had was to bring her out for a nice meal before I leave and give her the ring then, and a little something else under the tree.

Which option should I choose, or is there another one that I am missing?
Thanks for any advice on this.

LillyVanilli

consolidated wrote: »

If I leave her the ring here as her present then I will not be here to see her face when she opens it.

If I give her a 'fake' present for under the tree and then give her the ring on NYE in Wales she is surrounded by my family and friends, it might be a bit overbearing or whatever.

The other option I had was to bring her out for a nice meal before I leave and give her the ring then, and a little something else under the tree.
QUOTE]

I would definitely go with option 3. Option 1 wouldnt be as nice as you both being together and Option 2 means she will be away from her family and friends.

dublinrose

I agree with Ruby2Shoes...definitely option 3..I think a proposal should just be private moment between the 2 of you..later to tell friends and family..definitely would be against ring under the tree- you need to be together alone..and perhaps as your girlfriend is Irish it would be nice that it happened here where she could meet up with family and friends- celebrate etc...good luck!

seamus

Yep, what the other two have said. Doing it in a private moment between you is best for the actual event, and then she'll be delighted at having the few days over Christmas to show it off and celebrate with all her family and friends.

If you can give it a few days before you head home - she'll obviously want you there when she tells/meets her family.

Terpsichore

IMHO I think you shouldn't mix the actual engagement proposal with Xmas or NYear’s festivities. These are very separate events and also separate reasons for presents. It might look like you're trying to kill a few birds with one stone: not good, not manly and not romantic. (We don’t do Xmas present to adults in my family, but I’m trying to put myself in your GF’s shoes… as it is Ireland after all and people have gotten used to receive a lot)

I think you should propose in a private moment between now and the holidays. Then you can go and visit your families to announce it together. You're guaranteed a very happy family moment if she says yes to you, and you're avoiding any embarrassment in front of your family if for any reasons she might decline... Also, if you put her on the spot on a family moment, she might not appreciate it.

Question your heart and you will find the answer to your question. There is no right or wrong way to propose. This moment will mean a lot to both of you so it needs to be meaningful, hence no mixing with other matters.

Congratulations on your decision and all the best!

Terpsichore

How did it go for you Consolidated?

consolidated

Sorry, I just got back last night, had no internet access till now. She said YES! Was very surprised! Was all good. Thanks for the advice, I gave it seperate to the xmas presents, and before I went away.

Terpsichore

OMG! This is wonderful news! Congratulations to both of you!

All the very best and a very happy New Year to you two!

beertons

That's class man, congrats!

Miss Tequila

that's wonderful news!! Congratulations!