BRGH in crisis - a Public Service Announcement

Tom Dunne

Assembled Brethren, Brotherettes and wimmins, dark times are upon us. Our way of life is under threat, the cornerstone of our very existence is being cruelly taken from us, through no fault of our own.

We are simple people, we don't ask for much. Yet, as we speak, the Dark Forces of the FSAI are conspiring to take from us the very essence of our existence - pork products.

:eek:

According to their statement they "hope to have pork products back in the shops by Christmas". :eek:

We will monitor the situation closely, and keep the Strike Force on standby, should they be needed. In the meantime, I am looking for inspiration as to where we should turn to.

All I ask is that you stay calm and don't go vegetarian on me.

Gary ITR

I'm dividing up the rashers I have in the fridge and freezing them. I can defrost as needed

Ghost Train

I think the FSAI are telling porkies

Pepe LeFrits

Meh, just means more steak from now on.

Daemonic

From the FSAI:
Should consumers be concerned?

Even though it is illegal for dioxins to be present in foodstuffs, any possible risk to consumer health is extremely low.

I'll take my chances :rolleyes:

monkeyfudge

Personally I think I'd notice if there was a PCB in my sausage.

Tom Dunne

Daemonic wrote: »

I'll take my chances :rolleyes:

Work with me here, will you?

Ghost Train

any one seen pighead?

has he gone to ground

trout

eolhc wrote: »

any one seen pighead?

has he gone to ground

Steve

Are those rashers in your avatar brother trout?


Lord help us all!

Tom Dunne

SteveC wrote: »

Are those rashers in your avatar brother trout?


Lord help us all!

I knew it! He hasn't been looking well of late, that explains it.

Now we know you can OD on pork products.

trout

Pork Recall - This is Serious Business!

*goes off to change avatar*

smashey

Pffft. I just bought some good old British bacon up North.

I will not be denied my rasher sambos. :cool:

Zaph

M&S sell British and Danish pork products, don't they? Maybe all is not yet lost?

Galvasean

Feh, apparently this thing has been in them since September. I've eaten my fair share of pigs since then and there's nothing wrong with me.

*cough*

Tom Dunne

Zaph wrote: »

M&S sell British and Danish pork products, don't they? Maybe all is not yet lost?

Oh noes, in these recessionary times, do we, as in BGRH, recommend foreign products or do we practice abstinence?

My heart is saying abstain, my stomach is saying f**k that, I'm starving.

I'm torn.

smashey

Tom Dunne wrote: »

do we practice abstinence?

You have to be drunk to make a statement like that. :eek:

Tom Dunne

smashey wrote: »

You have to be drunk to make a statement like that. :eek:

Who says I am not?

It's five o'clock somewhere.

Our man in Havana

smashey wrote: »

Pffft. I just bought some good old British bacon up North.

I will not be denied my rasher sambos. :cool:

+1

My freezer is full of Norn Iron sausages and asda rashers.

Daemonic

Tom Dunne wrote: »

Work with me here, will you?

The :rolleyes: was for the FSAI. All this panic and the risk is minimal...its mad cow disease/saars/bird flu all over again

Tom Dunne

Daemonic wrote: »

The :rolleyes: was for the FSAI.

Ah, the classic misinterpretation of an expression on a text-based medium, such as Boards.ie. Apologies, I thought you were undermining my level of concern for my fellow brethren.

Daemonic wrote: »

All this panic and the risk is minimal...its mad cow disease/saars/bird flu all over again

Don't even go there with mad cow disease and bird flu. Just don't. I couldn't cope.

I couldn't live on just fish, I really couldn't.

dr.bollocko

There's British pork in LIDL! I overheard the rumour from a bewildered and put-upon housewife (bless 'em) in Dunnes. I never moved so fast in my life.

Woke up this morning and took a brief glance at the news. Then realised that the entire world is conspiring to ruin my sunday fry. I nearly fell off the toilet seat.
Back off Brussels!!!


Through a close sharing of information re. outlets stocking available pork resources we may yet get through this crisis.
Lord help us all. I have a lovely pork loin in the fridge. Was going to make some casserole today. Now it just sits there, the beautiful loin rolled into a smirking smile in the fridge. Safe in the knowledge that it will never fulfil its raison d'etre.

Actually I am going to go and stab that loin for a while.

Robbo

First the Credit Crunch and now the Bacon Bite. We live in horrendous times.

Doctor DooM

The creatures of the night pledge their assistance in this time of great hardship for the brotherhood. We feel your pain for there is nothing like a nice, greasy fry up after a 28 hour boards and Ps3 binge over night.


Rasher stealin bastids!

Tom Dunne

SDooM wrote: »

The creatures of the night pledge their assistance in this time of great hardship for the brotherhood. We feel your pain for there is nothing like a nice, greasy fry up after a 28 hour boards and Ps3 binge over night.

Thank you, Young SDoom. It's good to know we have your support in these dark times.

No chance you will be ritually slaughtering a few pigs some night will you?

Or maybe a wild boar?

Doctor DooM

Tom Dunne wrote: »

Thank you, Young SDoom. It's good to know we have your support in these dark times.

No chance you will be ritually slaughtering a few pigs some night will you?

Or maybe a wild boar?

I'll see what I can do. Generally we go for goats these days, but I will see what we have in the dungeon!

Galvasean

Daemonic wrote: »

The :rolleyes: was for the FSAI. All this panic and the risk is minimal...its mad cow disease/saars/bird flu all over again

Bird flu indeed. You can't catch the flu eating something which has been deep fat fried.

Tom Dunne wrote: »

Thank you, Young SDoom. It's good to know we have your support in these dark times.

Oh no you didn't..

Shiminay

Yea, I had a packet of yummy tesco quality saussages in the fridge earmarked for Sunday Afternoon eatings and no, they've had to be relinquished to the grave of consumer panic.

Now is the time for the Nocturnals and BGRHers to put aside any previous petty squabbles and unite in a hunt for clean pigs that we may feast as the gods intended!

Nevyn

THere are beef, goat and chicken sausages brothers fear not.

Nerin

SDooM wrote: »

I'll see what I can do. Generally we go for goats these days, but I will see what we have in the dungeon!

But sheep are easier to catch,they follow on blind faith

I pledge half my hunts to the bgrh brothers

Tom Dunne

Thank you all for your kind words. It makes it a tiny bit easier knowing you are all there for The Brethren during The Bacon Bite.

Robbo

Thaedydal wrote: »

THere are beef, goat and chicken sausages brothers fear not.

You're not grasping the depth of the constitutional crisis here.

It's like telling a Catholic that they can't go to mass because the church has burnt down but here's a whole load of other superstitions they can use in it's place.

Nevyn

There was a time where there were no catholic churches and they met where the coulkd in thier homes, in the woods and on the beachers under the moon...

While such sausages are clearly inferior to proper pork sauguages they may abate the craving but The Brotherhood may have to eat twice as many and drink a lot more beer before squaring up to them...

Gaspode

What possible harm could a few pcbs or dioxins to to our bodies that the nitrates, nitrates and fat in our favourite pig foods havent already done?

Pass that rasher sambo please.....

Diabhal Beag

I predict a large number of the bretherin will be checked into a phsyciatric ward of some sort during TEH BIATE. **** it I'll join ye all in heaven ( Goes to the fridge )

Steve

Thaedydal wrote: »

While such sausages are clearly inferior to proper pork sauguages they may abate the craving but The Brotherhood may have to eat twice as many and drink a lot more beer before squaring up to them...

Your sentiments are appreciated sister Thaed, however I've tried those inferior vegenonporkian sausages in the past and have to say that they aren't worthy of standing in the shadow of one of dennys finest.

It's like asking a brother to drink 'kaliber' because there's no Heineken left...:eek:

nkay1985

I heard this on the news last night. I was shocked and appalled. Luckily, as we had friends down for the night we had two packets of rashers and about three packets of sausages. As well as a few chops in the freezer.

I considered my health for a grand total of about two seconds. Then I considered whether I should let my wimmins know the little secret, lest she try to throw out said pig products. She didn't. I had a huge fry, made up entirely of pig, just to show my solidarity. If this lasts any amount of time, i fear I may have to resort to foreign pigs. It'd be a dark day but a lot brighter than not having any pig for a few weeks.

Latchy

Worrying about pork will only add to my already overworked OCD situation .Perhaps we / I should stock up on more pulses and lentils .

Zaph

Thaedydal wrote: »

THere are beef, goat and chicken sausages brothers fear not.

Beef sausages are something I didn't think was possible, vile tasting meat (ok, it's a sausage, but for the sake of argument let's assume it's the meaty bits they use) from a cow. I am unaware of goat sausages, although the Nocs might be able to help us out there. Chicken sausages are just wrong. They're like the retarded cousin of the sausage family that only gets wheeled out on special occasions. Or funerals. Basically any time where they won't be noticed properaly amidst the general clamour.

Zaph

latchyco wrote: »

Perhaps we / I should stock up on more pulses and lentils .

Nerin

Zaph wrote: »

Beef sausages are something I didn't think was possible, vile tasting meat (ok, it's a sausage, but for the sake of argument let's assume it's the meaty bits they use) from a cow. I am unaware of goat sausages, although the Nocs might be able to help us out there. Chicken sausages are just wrong. They're like the retarded cousin of the sausage family that only gets wheeled out on special occasions. Or funerals. Basically any time where they won't be noticed properaly amidst the general clamour.

Google image search *bulldrome*

I can kill as many as you need. BAh,government has no say down here,boar meat for all ^_^

Galvasean

Had a big hunk of bacon planned for dinner today. Had to swap it for cornedbeef.

Latchy

Zaph wrote: »

Cool image (really thinks.......... bit of an over reaction ) .I must use it

Anyone for nut crumble ?

cHaTbOx

at least drink is gettin cheaper

smashey

Kharn wrote: »

Now is the time for the Nocturnals and BGRHers to put aside any previous petty squabbles and unite in a hunt for clean pigs that we may feast as the gods intended!

I endorse this idea. :cool:

Thaedydal wrote: »

THere are beef, goat and chicken sausages brothers fear not.

Thaed, there is no finer sandwich filling than a few rashers straight out of the frying pan with the grease dripping on to the butter.

For what it's worth, I had some ham in the fridge today and ate it.

smashey does not throw away good pork. :mad:

Hagar

What's the wurst that could happen?
Let's send out an appeal to our EU Brethern, der Biereingeweide und Zurücktreten Haarstriche.

star-pants

If anyone finds any clean pork before wednesday please let me know. Supposed to be bringing a fry over to my sister in Rome on thurs... she won't be happy with just cheese n butter.

Tom Dunne

star-pants wrote: »

If anyone finds any clean pork before wednesday please let me know. Supposed to be bringing a fry over to my sister in Rome on thurs... she won't be happy with just cheese n butter.

Rest assured if I find "clean" pork in this country, your sister won't be getting it.

Nerin

Tom Dunne wrote: »

Rest assured if I find "clean" pork in this country, your sister won't be getting it.

.....

Aw nevermind

nkay1985

smashey wrote: »

Thaed, there is no finer sandwich filling than a few rashers straight out of the frying pan with the grease dripping on to the butter.

For what it's worth, I had some ham in the fridge today and ate it.

Smashey does not throw away good pork. :mad:

Or bad pork for that matter. I'm with you on that Smashey. I had already eaten half the pack of sausages so I'd already be fucked, no point in wasting the rest.

Splinter

according to what i overheard this morning beef is now also on the bad list

not my beloved steak /cry