Can't rely on me for support

LegacyUser

I've been going out with my gf for a few months now, we met in work and still work together. I'm 19 and shes the best part of 4 years older than me, with a good bit more experience. I can count the number of girls i've even kissed on two hands, and they've only ever been at nightclubs. She's my first girlfriend and before her i've never felt this way about anyone else before. She on the other hand has had two bad breakups from what i can make out and doesnt even talk to her ex's anymore.

Anyway, there have been a few occasions when things have happened like someone slagging her and me not sticking up for her, that i don't realise at the time, probably due to my nievity, and when it's pointed out to me it's too late for me to do anything and we end up having huge arguements after which i feel worthless. one time it came very close to us breaking up after a night out that i cryed my eyes out on the side of the road, and then ended up going out to her and making up.

last night something happened in work involving her being sent home as soon as she walked in for being a few minutes late. Now i would always be very well behaved in work, as i'm only part time and i feel the need to 'lick up' in a sense in order to secure hours for next weekend, but when she rang me upset over what happened and how she is being bullied by a manager in work, i didnt know what to say or do that might help and lo and behold, another arguement has broken out, through text messaging as always, during which she told me going out with me is like being single as she cant rely on me for support.

I dont know what to do, as she knows and I know that i would do absolutely anything for her, i spend every free minute i have with her, not to mention every penny i earn. I'll admit that i'm a bit nieve and dont realise what I need to do some of the time, but it's my first ever relationship and i'm only getting to grips with going out with someone and what it entails. I'm the quiet sort of guy that tries to please everyone and not have anyone hate me, and thats one of my flaws. I'm just fed up with hurting her, and ending up feeling worse about myself by upsetting her, I don't know what to do and i'm constantly worried sick.

TheZohanS

The best support you can give her is listening.

When a guy needs support he looks for logical steps to solve a problem.

When a girl looks for support she wants you to listen.

Carrigart Exile

Unregistered wrote: »

I've been going out with my gf for a few months now, we met in work and still work together. I'm 19 and shes the best part of 4 years older than me, with a good bit more experience. I can count the number of girls i've even kissed on two hands, and they've only ever been at nightclubs. She's my first girlfriend and before her i've never felt this way about anyone else before. She on the other hand has had two bad breakups from what i can make out and doesnt even talk to her ex's anymore.

Anyway, there have been a few occasions when things have happened like someone slagging her and me not sticking up for her, that i don't realise at the time, probably due to my nievity, and when it's pointed out to me it's too late for me to do anything and we end up having huge arguements after which i feel worthless. one time it came very close to us breaking up after a night out that i cryed my eyes out on the side of the road, and then ended up going out to her and making up.

last night something happened in work involving her being sent home as soon as she walked in for being a few minutes late. Now i would always be very well behaved in work, as i'm only part time and i feel the need to 'lick up' in a sense in order to secure hours for next weekend, but when she rang me upset over what happened and how she is being bullied by a manager in work, i didnt know what to say or do that might help and lo and behold, another arguement has broken out, through text messaging as always, during which she told me going out with me is like being single as she cant rely on me for support.

I dont know what to do, as she knows and I know that i would do absolutely anything for her, i spend every free minute i have with her, not to mention every penny i earn. I'll admit that i'm a bit nieve and dont realise what I need to do some of the time, but it's my first ever relationship and i'm only getting to grips with going out with someone and what it entails. I'm the quiet sort of guy that tries to please everyone and not have anyone hate me, and thats one of my flaws. I'm just fed up with hurting her, and ending up feeling worse about myself by upsetting her, I don't know what to do and i'm constantly worried sick.

Its not your job to fight your girlfriends battles, particularly as she seems to be in a constant state of confrontation (if not with you with other people). Be careful of her OP, she sounds the type that starts fights and expects you to wade in.

cantdecide

She sounds like she has your undivided attention which isn't very healthy. If you want to keep her, you should start thinking about parameters becasue it can't be right if you are worried all the time. If you're the quiet type and she's very confrontational, it won't do you any good.

A Primal Nut

TheZohan wrote: »

The best support you can give her is listening.

When a guy needs support he looks for logical steps to solve a problem.

When a girl looks for support she wants you to listen.

It's obvious from his post he his listening. I think thats what she wants from her female friends, from her boyfriend she probably does want advice.

OP, i picked up from your post that you work together and you don't want to stand up for her because you share the same boss. Tricky situation, but there is nothing you can do: this is her battle.

The most worrying sentence in the thread was "i spend every free minute i have with her, not to mention every penny i earn." WTF!! You need to fight your own battles before fighting hers.

D-Generate

I know you have never had a girlfriend but being single is better than being with such a demanding person. It will wear you down over time. Trust me....