food issues

LegacyUser

Sorry if this is a really long ramble...My attitude towards food is really messed up and I think i need help. I am constanlty thinking of food. I can't go an hour without eating before I start to feel starving again. I generally eat good food; lots of fruit and veg, chicken, wholegrain cereals and bread, brown rice, fish. The thing is, I just dont get full!
Ive always had issues with my weight. I was bulimic when I was younger but sort of got over that myself (or so I thought). This year I joined weight watchers and lost a stone and a half (I'm now 5 foot 6, just over 10 stone and a size 12, so I know im not fat or overweight. I generally like the size I am tbh). Everyone was saying how great I looked, and I felt great, but sometimes I found it so hard to follow WW and on some occasions I just gave in, binged, and made myself sick.
About 2 months ago I was about 2 pounds off my target weight. I couldnt afford to keep going to the classes though, but my mam insisted she'd pay for me to go until I reached it, because she didnt want me to get this far and give up. She probably expected it would take a week or two but here we are 2 months later and 5 pounds heavier. The pressure I feel under now is horrible. Because shes constantly at me about it I think about food all the time, I live in a student house so im surrounded by skinny people who eat and drink what they like and temptation is all around me. I can't stop eating and Im finding more and more, especailly when drunk, that im going back to my old ways and making myself sick after binges. I hate this. i don't want to be a bulimic, but i clearly have something wrong with me. I just want to be able to be a normal person my age who eats their meals when theyre hungry, stops eating when theyre full and doesnt feel bad about eating the odd bar of chocolate or take away. Weight watchers just isnt suiting my life now but after my mam paying for the last 2 months its such a waste if I just quit, and im likely to gain weight again.
Nobody has any idea how I feel or what Im doing to myself. Who can I talk to??? Where do I get help?

Overheal

You should start first off by talking to your mom and telling her that paying for the WW sessions is only putting bad stress on you, and that its actually causing you to gain weight. Without pressure from the parents, thats always a huge load off your mind.

After that, get in touch with a good counselor/doctor. You're in school I assume from your post; every campus (IT/Uni, it doesnt matter) will have an in-house counselor that you can schedule an appointment with any time, and discretely. Usually doctor visits can be arranged very affordably through the in-house nurse.

"Well if I quit now it will be 2 months of wasted mam-money"

Well, if you Dont quit now, I can see the problem growing worse, and pretty soon it'll become 4 months of blown mam-money - do the arithmetic.

LightningBolt

First of all, I think at your height and weight you're within a healthy limit. From reading your post I've a feeling that your mother is trying to recreate herself as she saw herself at your age. A few posters may call me on this but I've seen it happen to girls before, mothers putting pressure on them to look a certain way.

I feel peckish all the time to be honest, I think it's a normal healthy feeling if you eat on a regular basis ie every 2-3 hours. The binging is an issue obviously and the need to go back to it on occasion. I think following a strict way of eating (WW) can bring upon the need to binge as it is very restrictive and the general purpose of binging appears to be enjoying things of excess that you should have. I think it's best as overheal said to go talk to your college counsellor and just try get to the root of your problem. Maybe write a letter to your mam letting her know the pressure she puts you under and explain how you fell guilty about "letting her down by quitting".

Wibbs

LightningBolt wrote: »

From reading your post I've a feeling that your mother is trying to recreate herself as she saw herself at your age. A few posters may call me on this but I've seen it happen to girls before, mothers putting pressure on them to look a certain way.

I've seen that too. I can think of a few examples. Its a subset of the stage mother. OP your life is yours. Yes your mum is a huge part of that, but only a part.

I feel peckish all the time to be honest, I think it's a normal healthy feeling if you eat on a regular basis ie every 2-3 hours. The binging is an issue obviously and the need to go back to it on occasion. I think following a strict way of eating (WW) can bring upon the need to binge as it is very restrictive and the general purpose of binging appears to be enjoying things of excess that you should have.

Agreed. The quickest way to make something irresistible is to restrict it. Even if you didnt want it before, you'll want it then. It also puts undue focus on the food itself and you can easily lose focus on the original goal. One of the reasons IMHO while WW can be great for some I think is a disaster for others. About a year ago I saw a woman in front of me, openly count calories at the food counter in a deli. That's no way to live and like you she was hardly obese. I would suspect with even the success stories, relapse is the majority outcome.

Plus if your mum is putting undue pressure on you or you feel that, the natural reaction is to rebel against it, especially at an age when you're trying to forge your own path in life. So you may be swinging between hunger, self image and rebellion. That would wreck anybody's head.

IMHO I reckon a lot of the time people are on diets or trying to lose weight for the wrong reasons. That's why it doesn't work in most cases. I've seen too many women hurt themselves emotionally because of body issues when those that loved them just wanted to be allowed to love them for who they are.

I think it's best as overheal said to go talk to your college counsellor and just try get to the root of your problem. Maybe write a letter to your mam letting her know the pressure she puts you under and explain how you fell guilty about "letting her down by quitting".

Very good advice. Get some expert perspective on this.