How do you know he/she is the one?

DD

I want to know your opinion, how do you know how can you know that?

LegacyUser

Doesn't exist! I've been with three girls I adored in the last ten years and I can truthfully say we had a connection more than I've seen in married couples - great chemistry, honest, open relationship and our own lives too.

Like any relationship/friendship, they have their own duration whether it's 1 year or 10.

"The One" is the one you settle with and decide this is as good as it gets.

Sounds harsh, but I don't believe in it. I think it's the stuff of TV and movies.

generic1

I don't think there's a specific thing, you just do; theres no wonder involved.

LegacyUser

I knew very quickly when I met my husband that he was "the one". Everything about him was just right for me and thankfully vice versa. Part of it was the timing though. If we'd met 10 years earlier we may not have been interested in each other at all.

Pol Pot

his name will be neo

dudara

Pol Pot

Please stay on topic.

dudara

DD

Unregistered wrote: »

I knew very quickly when I met my husband that he was "the one"

I had this feeling twice, how do I know that now is the right time and the right person?

One of my friends has been married for a long time and they just got divorced. Was a shock for everyone. I can't still believe it...they were all one for each other

wylo

Unregistered wrote: »

If we'd met 10 years earlier we may not have been interested in each other at all.

I reckon what this poster said is whats its all about DD!! A combination of love, maturity and importantly a common situation,i.e. both interested in the same things in the long run.
Thats just my opinion, Im not married though!!

Wibbs

IMHO There are many potential "ones" out there. The one theory is espoused by over romantic girls and hollywood keen to plug into the idea of immovable destiny. In most cases its a self fulfilling prophecy, that is conveniently ignored when it goes arseways.

As I say there are many soulmates in your life and you are a soulmate for many in your own way. Some may last a day, a week, months, years or for life. Each teach you something about yourself, bad and good, if you're open to listen. The only one you should be looking for is yourself. That "one" you can be sure of and if you have that so will those who will be open to love you.

CathyMoran

I was with the same guy for years before I knew that he was the one - it was and is a total sense of certainty that they were the right person for me. Having said that, i do believe that there is more than one potential right person for you.

funloving

you know it..you feel it...
You're not in love with Love as many people are ..you really love THAT person and take them as they are, warts and all and you still love them.
I think it's something you can't put into words because it goes beyond any word,gesture,anything...

[Jackass]

It's no magical feeling or something that clicks one day.

The one is the person who ticks all your boxes, so you can only answer that.

IMO things would be: you think they're hot, you don't fight much, you have a deadly laugh together, sex life is good, you trust them, they trust you, they make you feel loved, you love them, you would do anything for them, they would do anything for you, some people would go for prospects too, they have to be going somewhere, a decent job, if you plan on having kids some day would you see them as good mother / father matieral, do they fit into your life and you into theres - as in you get on well with their familly and friends and like wise - there's a endless list.

Ok not ALL boxes have to be ticked, but the more that are, the more certain you can be that they're a good bet. To be honest I think there are several people you would meet in your life that could be "the one" but depending on circumstances it depends on who you end up with.

Failing that you get old and desperate and just marry anybody for the sake of it!!

jessbeth

I don't believe that we have one specific soul mate. I believe we have a lot of possibilities :-)
I think that if you wait around waiting for perfection you ultimately be very disappointed because perfection doesn't exist (except for myself of course ) but seriously you could pass up on meeting lots of wonderful people if you sit around waiting for the one.
For me, the one, is someone who you still love even with their faults, who you can trust completely, talk to about nearly everything and who makes you happy and you feel you can share lots of like experiences with this person. Butterflies help too, but remember the butterflies rarely stick around forever but they should still make appearances every now and again :cool:

funloving

jessbeth wrote: »

For me, the one, is someone who you still love even with their faults, who you can trust completely, talk to about nearly everything and who makes you happy and you feel you can share lots of like experiences with this person. Butterflies help too, but remember the butterflies rarely stick around forever but they should still make appearances every now and again :cool:

I agree with you Jessbeth...

...altough I still have butterflies in my stomach after 3 years...or maybe I have problems with my digestion...can be that too

Zulu

Discussion on this topic... Not trying to pimp my thread, but please read the thread linked.
This topic comes up regularly and tbh I don't think you will get an honest answer here OP*.
I'm given to believe that a lot of people in relationships are afraid to state the truth, and that the concept on the "one" is perpetuated for fear of the implications - people are afraid to say "I've settled for you", because of it's negative connotations.

I'd like to encourage regular PI posters to offer their honest opinions on the other thread also.



*I stand corrected - plenty of honest answers

Nehaxak

Move this to After Hours really, would be better discussed there as it's hardly a personal issue anyway.

Fatloss08

Pol Pot wrote: »

his name will be neo

ha ha ha ha ha ha i actually wet myself

Wibbs

I'm tempted to close this unless the OP doesn't get back to to let us know if it's a PI for them. BTW Nehaxak when you become a mod then you can make that call. You're not. So don't as it's also against the charter of this forum. Cheers.

Wibbs

Fatloss08 may I suggest reading the forum charter about off topic posts. Given the original post was followed by such a warning. May I also respectfully suggest incontinence knickers.

Fatloss08

ok sorry
didnt literally mean i wet myself was a joke

apologies

fits

If you can see yourself enjoying a conversation with them and their company in general in 40 years time.

But I dont believe in 'the one' either.

Curlypinkie

I never came across the tag The One until I came to Ireland.
Every time I have a date with someone some of my friends ask
"So, do you think he could be the one?"
I've started taking martial arts classes not to punch them every time they say it.
I completely agree with Wibbs on the fact that I am The One for myself.

Everyone else is just passing through my life and I can be happy with them or not.
But I always try to be happy with myself.

Nehaxak

Wibbs wrote: »

I'm tempted to close this unless the OP doesn't get back to to let us know if it's a PI for them. BTW Nehaxak when you become a mod then you can make that call. You're not. So don't as it's also against the charter of this forum. Cheers.

Wasn't making any call, merely an observation.
I did read the charter of this forum and I don't know what you're talking about in that regards either but whatever, after your kneejerk and unwarranted response, I've no desire to read/post or even look over this "personal issues" forum again. Which is probably a good thing as I find most of the stuff posted here sickeningly emo and 99%+ of it made up and unbelieveable...

This is Ireland not America, get over yourselves.

af_thefragile

"The One" doesn't exist.

Its only always the one for now. Put too much hope on one thing and it could crash down on you. Sorry for being pessimistic. I'm just speaking from experience.

pseudonym1

Depends on how many times you have had to ask yourself that question..

Think you would know in your heart and soul

People are in your life for a certain time- we should be happy and grateful for that. If you so choose to settle with someone for the sake of marraige and children - that makes them the one. As you have chosen them above all the people in all the world to spend rest of your life with. Thats truly something special - hard work and not for me!

Clare Bear

When the thought of being with them and only them for the rest of your life doesn't scare the crap out of you and you can't wait to grow old together.

Cpaw

Wibbs wrote: »

Fatloss08 may I suggest reading the forum charter about off topic posts. Given the original post was followed by such a warning. May I also respectfully suggest incontinence knickers.

Typing in bold is RUDE. Your last comment is also RUDE. I'm going to email boards.ie and suggest having your moderator privlages REMOVED. Hows that? Oh and DON'T even think about typing back in bold to me darling.

Cpaw

Nehaxak wrote: »

Wasn't making any call, merely an observation.
I did read the charter of this forum and I don't know what you're talking about in that regards either but whatever, after your kneejerk and unwarranted response, I've no desire to read/post or even look over this "personal issues" forum again. Which is probably a good thing as I find most of the stuff posted here sickeningly emo and 99%+ of it made up and unbelieveable...

This is Ireland not America, get over yourselves.

Fareplay mate! Nice to see someone stand up to that RUDE mod.

Silverfish

How's about you take a month off.

Wibbs

Nehaxak same for being silly. If you dont like it around here well then don't post here. AH is thataway <=