Mortified and disgusted

Mixedup

I'm just back from the doctor after having my second dose of cryotherapy for genital warts..i feel sick just thinking about it..

I have been with my boyfriend about 6 months, and he is my second partner, i hadnt been active in about a year before meeting him so i think i may have caught the virus from him but obviously not sure.

he was tested last year and came back clear, so how do i bring this up with him and not repulse him??im so upset and ashamed, and just want rid of them, am i being totally ridiculous in thinking that once i get rid of them i can say nothing and hope they dont come back? i know i should be more copped on and just tell him but i cant imagine even saying the words out loud..i feel disgusting..

is this more common than i'm imagining or am i a freak? I'm 22 and female by the way..

andrewh5

Are the genital warts or is it herpes? Herpes will recurr whereas warts may not.

Warts can occur anywhere on the body so you may not have aquired them through sexual activity.

MagicMarker

Your boyfriend needs to be tested, if you have only had 2 sexual partners including him, and he has had more then it is likely he did give them to you. But not definite, there's a chance you may have been incredibly unlucky with your first partner.

If i'm not mistaken genital warts are incurable? They may visibly go away but there's always a chance they'll re-emerge. I'm open to correction on this.

I know it's tough but it just has to be done, you can't keep it from him.

LegacyUser

I think most of the time they won't come back. I am a guy, got genital warts 2 years ago, got them removed in a day in the hospital and they never came back ever since.

I think people overreact about this to be honest. A high % of people have HPV (virus that generated warts) and don't know about it just because the warts don't come out (only a small % of people with HPV has warts coming out).

Get your warts removed, get your boyfriend checked, and live your life without worrying too much.

shellyboo

Mixedup wrote: »

is this more common than i'm imagining or am i a freak? I'm 22 and female by the way..

It's much, much more common than you're imagining. Here's some information on the HPV virus, which causes genital warts. But some basic info to hopefully ease your mind - the majority of people (men and women) will contract the virus at some point in their lives. It has no symptoms (up until an outbreak of warts) and can often remain undetected by an STI screen. It's one of a very few STIs that can still be contracted even if you use a condom every single time... so there is absolutely no need for you to be ashamed. It's the most common STI, you can get it even if you're 100% safe, there's probably nuns up in the convent who've had it :pac::D:p

Mixedup wrote: »

im so upset and ashamed, and just want rid of them, am i being totally ridiculous in thinking that once i get rid of them i can say nothing and hope they dont come back?

Unfortunately, no. All the treatment does is get rid of the warts - afaik, once you contract the virus, there is no way of curing it. That doesn't mean you're going to be plagued with them forever, some people never have a breakout, some people have recurring breakouts - there's no way to tell.

Mixedup wrote: »

he was tested last year and came back clear, so how do i bring this up with him and not repulse him??

You really do need to tell your bf. Like I say, HPV can be missed on an STI test, so it's still possible he's passed this to you. If he's in any way understanding, he's not going to think you're digusting. If you need to, print out some information about HPV and show it to him so he can see just how common it is.

One other thing, OP - HPV, which causes genital warts, also causes cervical cancer. So you need to be sure that once you turn 25, you have regular cervical smears. Read up on the info that I linked to and please, please, please don't worry - you've been super responsible in going to get checked out and treated, there's nothing more you can do. This is a really common problem for men and women and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Mixedup

thanks for the replies guys, i've made an appointment for a smear test so that i can put my mind at ease about anything else!

i'm considering the cervical cancer vaccine even tho its so expensive, because apparently it can prevent warts also..not sure how effective it will be as i am already sexually active, but i am under 25 and it can't do any harm i guess!
i suppose i'll just have to bite the bullet and tell my boyfriend and hope he doesnt freak out, can't believe that 80% of people get this, i must be very sheltered because i feel like such a mutant, never heard of this!

sunnyjim

I think you need to get the vaccine before you've had sex.

Don't know where I'm getting that from though.

Simi

sunnyjim wrote: »

I think you need to get the vaccine before you've had sex.

Don't know where I'm getting that from though.

You can get the vaccine when your sexually active but if you've already been infected with HPV, the vaccine isn't going to do you much good.

The vaccines currently available protect against types 16 and 18. These are the types that cause most forms of cervical cancer. The vaccines offer only very limited protection against the other types. There are over 130 types of HPV.

Since you've already developed genital warts there isn't much point forking out for the vaccine. The damage is already done i'm afraid.

lily lou

shellyboo wrote: »

One other thing, OP - HPV, which causes genital warts, also causes cervical cancer.

Cervical cancer is caused by a different form of HPV to the one that causes genital warts, you're still right to have a smear though.

shellyboo

Simi wrote: »

Since you've already developed genital warts there isn't much point forking out for the vaccine. The damage is already done i'm afraid.

Yup. And it costs €600! I think any doctor would tell you that there's no point in getting it if you've already been exposed to HPV. The reason that they give it to young girls is that the vaccine is at its most effective before you've become sexually active - because once you do, your chances of catching HPV are very high.

Mixedup

oh my god thanks for telling me that, because i was about to fork out for it, the doc in the clinic said that it would be 80% effective if i was sexually active..granted the smear said that i didnt have the strain of HPV that causes cervical cancer..

maybe i wont bother so, how depressing, i was delighted thinking that would cure me!oops..

shellyboo

Mixedup wrote: »

oh my god thanks for telling me that, because i was about to fork out for it, the doc in the clinic said that it would be 80% effective if i was sexually active..granted the smear said that i didnt have the strain of HPV that causes cervical cancer..

maybe i wont bother so, how depressing, i was delighted thinking that would cure me!oops..

Well, obviously you should listen to your doc and not me!! If s/he said it was 80% effective then I would believe them!!

But... my ex had an outbreak of warts when we were together years ago, after we had been tested and stopped using condoms and I've never, ever had one despite almost certainly having the virus. So, if I were you, as long as you keep getting your regular smears, I'd take my chances with the virus without the vaccine... unless you or your bf is getting regular outbreaks; in which case it could be worth the €600!

Mixedup

I've been reading about genital warts online for the past few hours here, tried to tell my boyfriend on the phone this evening but i totally chickened out, everything was going so well between us and i just couldnt face changing all that, the thoughts of getting them over and over again and never being able to have sex with him or anything are just killing me..

i thought i'd get my head round this but i feel physically sick, cant sleep or eat and just relax thinking about it..

shellyboo

Mixedup wrote: »

I've been reading about genital warts online for the past few hours here, tried to tell my boyfriend on the phone this evening but i totally chickened out, everything was going so well between us and i just couldnt face changing all that, the thoughts of getting them over and over again and never being able to have sex with him or anything are just killing me..

i thought i'd get my head round this but i feel physically sick, cant sleep or eat and just relax thinking about it..

Ok, well, if you can't talk to him about it then why don't you print out some information, perhaps write him a little note, hand it to him and say "I want you to read this, I'm going to go out for a while" and pop out for a coffee or something. I'd bet you a million euro that you'll get a phone call within ten minutes from him telling you not to be so silly and stop worrying about it.

And stop fretting!! There's nothing to say you're going to get them over and over again, and like your doctor told you, the vaccine could help, right?! So all you need to do is wait and see. If you get another outbreak, go for the vaccine if it will ease your mind... but as with my experience, your first outbreak could be your only one.

Mixedup

thanks shellyboo i really really appreciate the advice, told him anyway and he's going up to the doctor this evening, and like you said he was great about it.

i think its just me who has such a reaction to this, its just i'd never heard of many who had them so i felt like the only freak in the world whoever had anything like this!

anyway thanks sincerely again.

shellyboo

Mixedup wrote: »

thanks shellyboo i really really appreciate the advice, told him anyway and he's going up to the doctor this evening, and like you said he was great about it.

i think its just me who has such a reaction to this, its just i'd never heard of many who had them so i felt like the only freak in the world whoever had anything like this!

anyway thanks sincerely again.

Yay, I'm really glad to hear it Lots of people freak out over these things, but really there's no need to. It's just an illness like any other, sometimes these things happen despite your best efforts!

Best of luck... and congrats on having such a lovely bf