Advice

LegacyUser

Hello,

I am new to the boards but was told its a good place to come to for advice so here goes.

My wife is suffering from PND for the past year. I have tried to deal with this on my own and to be honest i have not done any research into it I just dealt with it as best as i could.

Some days are good and some days are bad. For a good time my wife seemed to be getting better but has slipped back into a bad place. This I know is due to my lack of knowledge and understanding to her situation. She is quick to anger and calls me names and tells me i am useless and that she is better off without me. I take this all on the chin cause i know its not her but I do not know what to do to make her feel better. She always apologises after and tells me its not her but she does remind me that i am in the dark when it comes to knowing properly about her condition.

I am not looking for sympathy cause i know that i have let this slip and as long as things seemed ok i just let it slide. I dont like conflict so if things are quiet thats good enough for me even though i am not address the matter properly. I love my wife very much but I guess i am lazy when it comes to dealing with important and serious matters.

Can anyone give me some advice that may help or give me a clearer idea of what i can do.

Thanks

LolaDub

It might be an idea for you to attend counselling for her condition together for a while. Is she on medication? Suffering from post natal depression can be a very lonely time for a woman, which is probably multiplied by your reaction, or lack of. It sounds like you've just buried your head in the sand tbh and she probably feels like she's facing this alone. Its something which you should be facing together. You need to find out every bit of information that you can and the information specific to your wifes situation. She needs to know you are there as a supportive husband should be in these times. Good Luck!

LegacyUser

Thank you LolaDub for taking the time read my post and to reply. What you say makes sense. My wife is on medication. I have had my head in the sand if i am honest. I do try and be supportive but your right i need to find out the information and stand up and be counted for.

sam34

i dont agree with the poster above. there is no point going for marriage counselling if one party has depression. the depression needs to be sorted out first. you may find that when depression is treated the marital issues resolve. op, i think you and your wife should speak to her gp about this. if your wife wont go to her gp, you should go anyway and discuss your concerns with the doc.

redfacedbear

I agree with Sam.

My wife went through a nasty bout of PND after the arrival of our first and like your wife she was absolutely convinced that if I could just be better/more helpful/more understanding/more something or less something else she would get better. I know what you are going through.

No amount of you being understanding is going to make her get better. She needs to deal with the depression and the Doctor is the best place to start. For my wife the pharmacalogical route worked wonders but your wife's GP can advise if that is not a path you want to take.

LolaDub

I was referring to pnd counselling not marriage counselling. The poster seems to have very little idea of pnd and how it is affecting his wife and what she's going through. I suggested they attend together or do extra counselling together so he can understand her condition better and perhaps the counsellor/therapist can give him some information on being there for her.

LolaDub

Unregistered wrote: »

Thank you LolaDub for taking the time read my post and to reply. What you say makes sense. My wife is on medication. I have had my head in the sand if i am honest. I do try and be supportive but your right i need to find out the information and stand up and be counted for.

You're very welcome, i sincerely hope it turns out well for you. I briefly struggled with depression after my daughters birth and it was really was a very very lonely experience. I have respect for you that you've asked and realised maybe there is something you can do. Good luck!