Slags to friends which, when you think about it, are mean . . . but still funny!

RandolphEsq

A friend of mine has a dad who was a famous sportsperson. He got numerous caps for his country and was a bit of a Lion of a sports star. There is also a soundbite which is famous.
Unfortunately he has a son who does not live up to him and my god does he know it thanks to us. Now this has been going on since our early teens and we are now in our twenties so I can only imagine how he must feel with our incessant chanting of

Where's your ****ing pride?

whenever he plays sports or even whenever he does anything.
Anyone else have anything to share?

AnonoBoy

Once I said my friend was a gay.

Oh how we laughed.

Then we had sex

4zn76tysfajdxp

Sports are for losers, fair play to your friend for being his own man etc.

OT: Me and my friends love making fun of our diabetic buddy for his illness. He takes it well however and usually comes up with the best stuff himself.

jim o doom

I have billions between me and my mates - but the best one I've ever heard was my fiancees.. she used this on her mate, it wasn't relevant to anything in particular, but it was so inventive and disgusting I have to share; she and her mate were slagging each other about sexual stuff & she told her mate that "your boyfriend takes a crap & then freezes it, so that you can use it as a dildo".nasty

RandolphEsq

jim o doom wrote: »

I have billions between me and my mates - but the best one I've ever heard was my fiancees.. she used this on her mate, it wasn't relevant to anything in particular, but it was so inventive and disgusting I have to share; she and her mate were slagging each other about sexual stuff & she told her mate that "your boyfriend takes a crap & then freezes it, so that you can use it as a dildo".nasty

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=alaskan+pipeline

Turd Ferguson

Yeah, a friend of mine is a haemophiliac. We're always teasing him about it by poking him with pins and cutting his fingers with razor blades and shouting "Oi, whats the deal with your red blood cells?"
Its funny cos he might die.

Insect Overlord

I had a friend who was nicknamed "the Douche" for about 2 years. We thought he found it funny, but apparently he really hated it

Kold

Mate of mine won UCC's next top model. We give him sh*t every time he's out because he can be really sensitive about getting mocked so when he asked us to tone it down, we've just started calling him a pussy.

S.I.R

good mate of mine happens to be near enough 6'8, 2 miles wide ( fat, not musle ) and we all call him Mushy.... as he's mushy on the brain and body....


or just call h im a latin name like repus taf ( super fat backwards )


Gosh im Evil... :eek:

biko

I was out with co-workers and got hold of a handful of business cards.
Started flirting drunkenly with all the girls about the place and giving them his name and card
Er, doesn't really pertain to this thread but still funneh.

TPD

A friend of mine has gained the nickname 'Camp' because he is generally quite camp. This has been going on for a few years now, and his parents know who we're referring to when we say 'camp'. He accepted the name suprisingly easily.

iPlop

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

Yeah, a friend of mine is a haemophiliac. We're always teasing him about it by poking him with pins and cutting his fingers with razor blades and shouting "Oi, whats the deal with your red blood cells?"
Its funny cos he might die.

I know a guy called niall but everyone calls him phillo cos he looks like tom hanks in philidephia when the infested with handgrenades

AnonoBoy

Septic Leper wrote: »

I know a guy called niall but everyone calls him phillo cos he looks like tom hanks in philidephia when the infested with handgrenades

Eh....... ok. I remember the bit where Tom Hanks got infested with handgrenades.

ronnie3585

One of my mates if partially deaf and his condition is worsening. As a result he has had to learn sign language. We now call him 'news for the deaf'.

Hillarious.

dontcallmecrazy

jim o doom wrote: »

I have billions between me and my mates - but the best one I've ever heard was my fiancees.. she used this on her mate, it wasn't relevant to anything in particular, but it was so inventive and disgusting I have to share; she and her mate were slagging each other about sexual stuff & she told her mate that "your boyfriend takes a crap & then freezes it, so that you can use it as a dildo".nasty

i think this is called igloo-ing...filthy duurty.

Turd Ferguson

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Eh....... ok. I remember the bit where Tom Hanks got infested with handgrenades.

Yes, there is a clip of it here

AnonoBoy

dontcallmecrazy wrote: »

i think this is called igloo-ing...filthy duurty.

Space docking is what I call it heard it was called.

quoteunquote

A friend of ours is rich so we love to wind him up. If he complains about having to do something he's always told to "get your monkey butlers to do it."

He takes it fairly well. Rich bastard.

Turd Ferguson

quoteunquote wrote: »

A friend of ours is rich so we love to wind him up. If he complains about having to do something he's always told to "get your monkey butlers to do it."

He takes it fairly well. Rich bastard.

I think I know that guy. Richard Richardson, isnt it?

Zangetsu

Fat Asian, blunt and to the point... Nice guy but can't take a joke...

iPlop

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Eh....... ok. I remember the bit where Tom Hanks got infested with handgrenades.

yeah he looks like that

funk-you

Have one mat that we call "Sweat wallet" and another called "Dances with cheeseburgers". Actually i have some really fat mates now that i think about it.

-Funk

shenanigans1982

Septic Leper wrote: »

I know a guy called niall but everyone calls him phillo cos he looks like tom hanks in philidephia when the infested with handgrenades

Used to say the same thing to a guy in school, thinking about it now I feel really horrible cos I even had a teacher doing it. Also had a teacher calling him Mr Morehead.....more head than hair.

Hellm0

Used to know this lad who was of Chinese ancestry, grew up in Tallaght though. Had the strongest Dublin accent out of our group, oh how we teased him. I remember one time during a smoking session at his house we found sea horses in his mother kitchen, another source of entertainment. Then one time a friend came downstairs speaking in a high pitched tone wearing the guys mother's bra, he went ballistic and we all shat ourselves with laughter.


Good times.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

A German friend of mine used to get so angry sometimes she'd sort of forget how to speak English and used to start roaring in German at whoever was annoying her. So we'd just sit there going "okay Hitler. Sorry Hitler. What's that Hitler?" Took her ages to cop we were provoking her into these rages on purpose.

Another friend isn't in the least bit ginger but dyes her hair so we always say she's dying it to cover up the ginger and ask her does she dye down below as well. Annoys her more than you'd think.

Yet another friend (I've got loads of them ) got really drunk one night and had to get carried up the stairs by her boyfriend's housemate (boyfriend was pissed too, tried to carry her himself but failed). The next day the housemate told her she pissed on the stairs (she hadn't) and it sort of turned into a running joke, makes no sense but it's fcuking hilarious.

J.S. Pill

We just started calling a friend of ours 'ballbag' for absolutely no reason whatsoever. 2 months later and I'm still laughing

cwynnes

I had a disabled friend and i used to make fun of him for being on a wheelchair and used to say it was my turn, he shud get up and stop being so lazy...he took it very well....well i think he did, unless he went home crying and i never heard....in which case it doesnt matter cos i had my fun, thats all that matters

KnifeWRENCH

dontcallmecrazy wrote: »

i think this is called igloo-ing...filthy duurty.

Good God! :eek:

I must change my username so....

ChairmanCow

BrightEyes wrote: »

A friend of mine has a dad who was a famous sportsperson. He got numerous caps for his country and was a bit of a Lion of a sports star. There is also a soundbite which is famous.
Unfortunately he has a son who does not live up to him and my god does he know it thanks to us. Now this has been going on since our early teens and we are now in our twenties so I can only imagine how he must feel with our incessant chanting of

Where's your ****ing pride?

whenever he plays sports or even whenever he does anything.
Anyone else have anything to share?

Hah! Well thats not too bad... At least he probably doesn't get any slaggin over anything else. And sure its not as if he could be so terrible at sport that he'd break his ankle trying to sidestep a tree or anything.... Could he..?

antSionnach

A friend of mine was circumcised and he is therefore known as Shylock, or The Jew, much to his annoyance as we usually insist on explaining the reference to those who don't know it. Others are Protestants including myself and we take similar religious jibing to not bring Irish, supposedly having british passports etc! A female, and somehwat feminist friend, constantly receives exaggerated courtesies and drawn out and unwanted explanations on sports or 'masculine topics' on our behalf for being a member of the weaker sex

Jay P

A few weeks ago, I was in religion and my friend turns around and goes "You're sick! I know what you and *girlfriend'svname here* did!" I said, "No, I'm pretty sure I didn't tell anyone, and she didn't tell anyone either..." Thinking it was something else... And he said "I heard you too a sh111t on her chest!" Which certainly wasn't true. It soundded very harmless. Next day everyone was saying "You're sick!" That was funny for about 20 minutes. A week later, it got very annoying! She never found out what the rumour was....

Also, me and my friend have a great habit of saying whenever our friend says something we don't like, we jsut say "Sorry Conor, you wouldn't get it, you're in pass chemistry and all..." It's really bad cos he's not in pass chemistry, its just a lower honours class. I love Conor...

Shacklebolt

I know a ginger lad with a black girlfriend and they are collectively known as 'Chocolate Orange'.

bluto63

ChairmanCow wrote: »

Hah! Well thats not too bad... At least he probably doesn't get any slaggin over anything else. And sure its not as if he could be so terrible at sport that he'd break his ankle trying to sidestep a tree or anything.... Could he..?

Or getting demoted to kickstand boy for being so bad...

MizzLolly

We slag our friend for being a red-head.


Thing is, I like gingers! So it's harmless really:D

smiley_colly

this is really bad but my 2 best friends one called kristine and the other wears make up thats 4 shades too dark..

My boyfriend slipped up that together the lads calls then CHRISTY BROWN...Pahaha

Funny.

brianthebard

Khalil Helpless Accelerator wrote: »

A German friend of mine used to get so angry sometimes she'd sort of forget how to speak English and used to start roaring in German at whoever was annoying her. So we'd just sit there going "okay Hitler. Sorry Hitler. What's that Hitler?" Took her ages to cop we were provoking her into these rages on purpose.

Another friend isn't in the least bit ginger but dyes her hair so we always say she's dying it to cover up the ginger and ask her does she dye down below as well. Annoys her more than you'd think.

No one wants to be ginger.

Xavi6

Not a friend but a lad in college who no one really liked. He was one of these blokes who has no neck so we called him 'Head and Shoulders'.

There was also a lad a few years older than me who got called 'Gonzo' after the character from the Muppets. He absolutely hated it, especially when us younger folk said it to him. He was the spit of him though!

Oh yeah, and the lad from college who we called 'Orse' cause he was a D4 head and that's how he said 'arse'.

cooperguy

A friend of mine is German and any time she gets annoyed at something we all start backing off and saying careful we all know what happened the last time the germans got angry. And any chance for a Nazi reference we use it.

One of my favourites though was a couple of years ago when we were at a house party and a jewish guy arrived. We insisted they arm wrestle to see who would win:D

Caliden

Shacklebolt wrote: »

I know a ginger lad with a black girlfriend and they are collectively known as 'Chocolate Orange'.

haha oh my god thats genius and racist at the same time

iPlop

Shacklebolt wrote: »

I know a ginger lad with a black girlfriend and they are collectively known as 'Chocolate Orange'.

Jaysus imagine the poor kids ,be abit like umpa lumpa backwards:eek:

junior_apollo

There was a girl in our class in college who was very self conscious about her size, (she was EASILY 6'1" and a good 13St) big Paul O' Driscoll shaped girl... Usually quiet in class but every now and again came out with answers and discussions and showed her true self... complete idiot.. absolute drivel came out everytime she talked.. so hence she earned and deserved a good slagging... so one day she was motoring on.. one of the lads came out with a nickname for her... "The Incredible Bulk"... ever since whenever I see a monstrous and visually disgusting specimen thats all that comes to mind... The Bulk

Terry

junior_apollo wrote: »

There was a girl in our class in college who was very self conscious about her size, (she was EASILY 6'1" and a good 13St) big Paul O' Driscoll shaped girl... Usually quiet in class but every now and again came out with answers and discussions and showed her true self... complete idiot.. absolute drivel came out everytime she talked.. so hence she earned and deserved a good slagging... so one day she was motoring on.. one of the lads came out with a nickname for her... "The Incredible Bulk"... ever since whenever I see a monstrous and visually disgusting specimen thats all that comes to mind... The Bulk

This is definitely a face palm moment.

BaZmO*

junior_apollo wrote: »

There was a girl in our class in college who was very self conscious about her size, (she was EASILY 6'1" and a good 13St) big Paul O' Driscoll shaped girl... Usually quiet in class but every now and again came out with answers and discussions and showed her true self... complete idiot.. absolute drivel came out everytime she talked.. so hence she earned and deserved a good slagging... so one day she was motoring on.. one of the lads came out with a nickname for her... "The Incredible Bulk"... ever since whenever I see a monstrous and visually disgusting specimen thats all that comes to mind... The Bulk

The thread says, "Slags to friends which, when you think about it, are mean"

I don't think you need to think about that one to see that it's mean.

TerrorFirmer

Incessant mockery of ginger hair. It all came to a crescendo one night when we were watching Miss Universe, the representative of one country prompted me to say 'Red Hair and freckles - rotten combination'. A harmless combination, you might mirthfully chuckle - I'm sure he's well used to it.

Cue a brawl that left half his house in ruins and him brandishing a steak knife and screaming at us that we were never welcome in his home again. Know the one step that pushes a ginger too far.

Xavi6

junior_apollo wrote: »

There was a girl in our class in college who was very self conscious about her size, (she was EASILY 6'1" and a good 13St) big Paul O' Driscoll shaped girl... Usually quiet in class but every now and again came out with answers and discussions and showed her true self... complete idiot.. absolute drivel came out everytime she talked.. so hence she earned and deserved a good slagging... so one day she was motoring on.. one of the lads came out with a nickname for her... "The Incredible Bulk"... ever since whenever I see a monstrous and visually disgusting specimen thats all that comes to mind... The Bulk

Who's this 'Paul O'Driscoll' fella?

Caliden

junior_apollo wrote: »

There was a girl in our class in college who was very self conscious about her size, (she was EASILY 6'1" and a good 13St) big Paul O' Driscoll shaped girl... Usually quiet in class but every now and again came out with answers and discussions and showed her true self... complete idiot.. absolute drivel came out everytime she talked.. so hence she earned and deserved a good slagging... so one day she was motoring on.. one of the lads came out with a nickname for her... "The Incredible Bulk"... ever since whenever I see a monstrous and visually disgusting specimen thats all that comes to mind... The Bulk

Paul O'Driscoll :pac:

Terry

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

Incessant mockery of ginger hair. It all came to a crescendo one night when we were watching Miss Universe, the representative of one country prompted me to say 'Red Hair and freckles - rotten combination'. A harmless combination, you might mirthfully chuckle - I'm sure he's well used to it.

Cue a brawl that left half his house in ruins and him brandishing a steak knife and screaming at us that we were never welcome in his home again. Know the one step that pushes a ginger too far.

He's not wrong.

I once broke a bicycle pump over someone's head because he was slagging me about being ginger.

I was only about 10 at the time, but he pushed me too far.

Oh yah, I also threw milk bottles at people.

TerrorFirmer

Terry wrote: »

He's not wrong.

I once broke a bicycle pump over someone's head because he was slagging me about being ginger.

I was only about 10 at the time, but he pushed me too far.

Oh yah, I also threw milk bottles at people.

I think he went that step further and actually bit people. Only further negatively re-reinforcing peoples fear.

A Primal Nut

Adriana Delightful Absinthe wrote: »

Sports are for losers, fair play to your friend for being his own man etc.

OT: Me and my friends love making fun of our diabetic buddy for his illness. He takes it well however and usually comes up with the best stuff himself.

Let me guess you were the guy picked last throughout school. Only someone who is **** at sports would say that.

Or a girl, which you may well be.

TerrorFirmer

A Primal Nut wrote: »

Let me guess you were the guy picked last throughout school. Only someone who is **** at sports would say that.

Or a girl, which you may well be.

I hear he's good with balls.

RandolphEsq

ChairmanCow wrote: »

Hah! Well thats not too bad... At least he probably doesn't get any slaggin over anything else. And sure its not as if he could be so terrible at sport that he'd break his ankle trying to sidestep a tree or anything.... Could he..?

Maybe