Two too many

starman08

Im a long time reader, and i decided to write about my problem.
I had my hearth crushed this year and have not really gotten over it.
Since then i have become a horrible womaniser, i not only have two girlfriends (one at work, one at home town who was previously my long time frined) but i am also meeting up with yet another girl. I have fun with all of them but i still dont really want to be with any of them. Im scared to dump any of them as they are so nice to me and they do cheer me up but im not even turned on by them. I know all of this makes me a bad person... I just want to know have others expierenced similair

The Corinthian

I have - except for the crushed heart part.

I don't understand your problem; you have two women, are having fun with both, but are not really interested in either, yet don't have the coglioni to end it.

Seriously, if you are happy enough with the arrangement you have with them, continue until it fizzles out of natural causes. If not, end it rather than prolonging it and making things worse for them or yourself. Either way decide a course of action rather than this morally ambiguous self-loathing BS.

Unless you enjoy wallowing in morally ambiguous self-loathing BS.

Tuesday_Girl

The Corinthian wrote: »

I have - except for the crushed heart part.

I don't understand your problem; you have two women, are having fun with both, but are not really interested in either, yet don't have the coglioni to end it.

Seriously, if you are happy enough with the arrangement you have with them, continue until it fizzles out of natural causes. If not, end it rather than prolonging it and making things worse for them or yourself. Either way decide a course of action rather than this morally ambiguous self-loathing BS.

Unless you enjoy wallowing in morally ambiguous self-loathing BS.

Well he has 3 women, not 2, he says himself that it's 2 too many, that they don't even turn him on but he 's scared to dump any of them. That doesn't sound like much fun to me.

I say get rid of them all and sort your head and your emotions out. Seeing 3 girls at the same time to somehow get back at the one that broke your heart isn't fair.

Aine M

starman08 wrote: »

Im a long time reader, and i decided to write about my problem.

I had my hearth crushed this year and have not really gotten over it.

Since then i have become a horrible womaniser, i not only have two girlfriends (one at work, one at home town who was previously my long time frined) but i am also meeting up with yet another girl. I have fun with all of them but i still dont really want to be with any of them. Im scared to dump any of them as they are so nice to me and they do cheer me up but im not even turned on by them. I know all of this makes me a bad person... I just want to know have others expierenced similair

Hi there,
Yep I believe most people that have been hurt have been in this situation.From a female point of view since I have come out of long term relationship, I think we distance ourselves from getting too attached.I tried the whole dating thing with two guys but same as you, having the craic and the attention but most def not turned on by them.I thought it was just me but I am glad to hear this happens to fellas too!I feel so bad and even if I make it clear that I want to go out for drinks as friends they just expect more and being too nice I am afraid to tell them then that I dont want more.I feel awful then.I think we're just not ready to move on,prob need space on our own to realise that we kinda have to!well in my case anyway!I would say get rid of all of them and sort your head out, i'm hoping it will work for me.As I have heard over and over again,it will happen when you least expect it,old but true!

The Corinthian

Razzle wrote: »

Well he has 3 women, not 2, he says himself that it's 2 too many, that they don't even turn him on but he 's scared to dump any of them. That doesn't sound like much fun to me.

2, 3 or 6 women does not really change what I wrote to him.

Marksie

I would have to agree with The Corinthian on this.

Question: do they know about each other?.
if they did, and both they and you are happy thats perfectly fine.

If you are not happy then why are you not happy? Guilt? then is that your motivation.

Basics is, if you are not happy then let it go or let two go.... but perhaps all three as you are not interested in them.

Eric Cartman

starman08 wrote: »

Im a long time reader, and i decided to write about my problem.
I had my hearth crushed this year and have not really gotten over it.
Since then i have become a horrible womaniser, i not only have two girlfriends (one at work, one at home town who was previously my long time frined) but i am also meeting up with yet another girl. I have fun with all of them but i still dont really want to be with any of them. Im scared to dump any of them as they are so nice to me and they do cheer me up but im not even turned on by them. I know all of this makes me a bad person... I just want to know have others expierenced similair

in my personal opinion you are a king among men and i congratulate what you have achieved, might you be womanising because you want to prove something to yourself ? i do it because i hate commitment, obviously thats not your issue if you have 2 girlfriends, is there anything you can think of ?

MugMugs

I atually just split my sides laughing......... cos this is me too.

Heart crushed, head wrecked and the three on the go is actually kinda time consuming.

I cooled one off today and will have the others told the score later this week in the nicest way.

Main reason is that there is no point to it. I aint happy with any of them and there is only one person on my mind. I need to get that person out of my head before I do anything else and that isnt easy....

Do yourself a favour. ditch em all and work on getting your head healthy again.

Dob74

starman08 wrote: »

Im a long time reader, and i decided to write about my problem.

I had my hearth crushed this year and have not really gotten over it.

Since then i have become a horrible womaniser, i not only have two girlfriends (one at work, one at home town who was previously my long time frined) but i am also meeting up with yet another girl. I have fun with all of them but i still dont really want to be with any of them. Im scared to dump any of them as they are so nice to me and they do cheer me up but im not even turned on by them. I know all of this makes me a bad person... I just want to know have others expierenced similair

Big deal. One of them is going to find out and just dump you. Its obivous its not serious with either of them otherwise they would spot it right away. When your young have your fun because it's alot better than having it when you are married with kids.

starman08

Aine M wrote: »

Hi there,
Yep I believe most people that have been hurt have been in this situation.From a female point of view since I have come out of long term relationship, I think we distance ourselves from getting too attached.I tried the whole dating thing with two guys but same as you, having the craic and the attention but most def not turned on by them.I thought it was just me but I am glad to hear this happens to fellas too!I feel so bad and even if I make it clear that I want to go out for drinks as friends they just expect more and being too nice I am afraid to tell them then that I dont want more.I feel awful then.I think we're just not ready to move on,prob need space on our own to realise that we kinda have to!well in my case anyway!I would say get rid of all of them and sort your head out, i'm hoping it will work for me.As I have heard over and over again,it will happen when you least expect it,old but true!

Wow that is mad, i never expected a woman to respond to me, as i believe i am portraying myself as a dickhead. But you are right bout the whole people expecting more than you have to offer... I like hanging out with these girl.. With the two girls that i am seeing i know that they are more interested in me than i am in them. As mentioned in a diffferent response im actually not self loathing as i truelly am fine with who i am as person... But i feel what im doing right now is not me, its more like a cold hearthed version of me... Perhaps im just selfish

starman08

MugMugs wrote: »

I atually just split my sides laughing......... cos this is me too.

Heart crushed, head wrecked and the three on the go is actually kinda time consuming.

I cooled one off today and will have the others told the score later this week in the nicest way.

Main reason is that there is no point to it. I aint happy with any of them and there is only one person on my mind. I need to get that person out of my head before I do anything else and that isnt easy....

Do yourself a favour. ditch em all and work on getting your head healthy again.

You know i work in louth is there something in the drinking water that makes us do it... If so that means im blame free ha ha

starman08

Eric Cartman wrote: »

in my personal opinion you are a king among men and i congratulate what you have achieved, might you be womanising because you want to prove something to yourself ? i do it because i hate commitment, obviously thats not your issue if you have 2 girlfriends, is there anything you can think of ?

King amoung men ha ha, i honestly say that a man who can honestly say he has never evr cheated or even dreamed of it is a true king as that is by far a greater challenge... Besides i now have to buy 2 christmas

Aine M

starman08 wrote: »

Wow that is mad, i never expected a woman to respond to me, as i believe i am portraying myself as a dickhead. But you are right bout the whole people expecting more than you have to offer... I like hanging out with these girl.. With the two girls that i am seeing i know that they are more interested in me than i am in them. As mentioned in a diffferent response im actually not self loathing as i truelly am fine with who i am as person... But i feel what im doing right now is not me, its more like a cold hearthed version of me... Perhaps im just selfish

I dont think it selfishness,in my case I was hurt very badly and I'm just afraid to commit I think, or maybe the right person will snap us out of this streak!The one thing you said there that sums it up is that I have been saying to friends is that I am turning really cold hearted, this isnt the real me, but pretending to be happy just cos the other person is mad about you is not me either. I had put it down to the fact that I gave everything in my last relationship and I have nothing to give!I feel like a real b***h these days but thats just not me. As MugsMugs said above you obviously still have one person on your mind,think the same applies to me.Get rid of however many you have and sort your head out. I am in process of doing that and hopefully will value a relationship a lot more when the right person comes along.

Aine M

starman08 wrote: »

King amoung men ha ha, i honestly say that a man who can honestly say he has never evr cheated or even dreamed of it is a true king as that is by far a greater challenge... Besides i now have to buy 2 christmas

Well said,you've just proved youre not a "dickhead" as you described yourself:rolleyes:

helimachoptor

OP I think this is a common enough thing, after my last serious relationship finished, I was seeing 4 girls, sometimes 2 on the same day! Now at the time I was messed up as even though I knew the relationship was best left in the bin its impossible to switch off after 4 years/3/2/1/year or even a few months together. So I was just trying to replace my ex with other people.

Ended up in a "relationship" with one of the girls for 6 months, but while she had serious feelings for me they weren't reciprocated, thankfully she understood and were still friends.

Op it will take time to get over your heart break beleive me and yes your probably going to hurt the girls in your life now.

Mr. Incognito

"A man who procrastinates in his choosing will have his choice made for him by circumstance"

-Hunter S Thompson.

Obviously you are feeling guilty about this so you're not doing yourself any favours keeping this up.