Men, please help

LegacyUser

Hi!
Really need help as i am really confused!

Started work in my new job a few months ago. Was taken out on the 2nd nite by my new work friends and hit it off with one of the guys. Nothing every happen but when we would meet in work all smiles and small bit of flirting. So was warned about another guy at work to stay away from him, as he was a bit of a ladies man. Well i fell for his charms and was with him a couple of times. Sort of ****ed up the situation myself and didn't really get the hint for a while. So eventally got the hint and started enjoyin myself again. All the while the flirtin was continuing with the first guy. So he started textin and 2 wks ago we went out for a drink(s) and had a ball, really hit it off and had a few kisses!! It was great! Texting continued and all smiles in work. Then a few nites later all out from work and he was best friends with guy no 2, (they don't usually talk)!! And now all of a sudden, he is not speaking, texting or smiling at me any more!!
Anyone any clues as to were it all went wrong?????

I know i made my mistakes and regret ever been wit the ladies man and making a fool out of myself!! But how can a guy who has been flirting with you since day one all of a sudden lose interest!!

Mixed up and Confused!!

Fizman

Just read through that twice, and I'm a bit confused.

Anywho, my take on it is that the guy who had been flirting with you, initially really liked you and so on. Now however, he knows you caved and fell into bed (on several occasions) with Mr. Smooth and has lost most, if not all, respect for you. Well, maybe thats a little harsh, but he may have lost any desire he had of getting involved with you.

Going out with someone you work with is a pretty hard thing to do in some peoples eyes, but going out with someone you work with who has already jumped on one of the other "lads" is an unbearable thought, imo. If he was to start up something with you, i'd imagine it would eat away at him every time he see's you chatting to Mr. Smooth.

I could be wrong, and possibly misread your post, but thats just my €0.02.

JDLK

I have to echo the above- while you cant be certain unless the guy actually says so I'd imagine its because he heard you were with the other guy. There is alot of pressure involved in office romances but when you combine that with a 3rd party who also works in the same office it would be way too much pressure

metrovelvet

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi!
But how can a guy who has been flirting with you since day one all of a sudden lose interest!!

Mixed up and Confused!!

Because you have been played.

grizzly

Your post is a little confusing itself. From what I understand you like guy 1, who you've flirted with. Fell you the charms of ladies man, guy 2. Now you don't know why guy 1 is giving you the cold shoulder?

He thinks you're a slapper.

Overheal

And this is why its so hazardous mixing business with pleasure. For all I know he could very well still be playing you. I would normally say forget about him - but you work with them. Hence the hazard.

Galvasean

You have to look at it from Guy 1's perspective. He probably liked you and thought you liked him. Now he has become aware that you have been sleeping with Ladiesman217 from work. He probably thinks you are the just looking for the one thing (excuse the overused clichéd phrase) and are perhaps a bit easy. That could be quite ofputting if he genuinely liked you and thought you felt the same of him.

cantdecide

If he liked you and was playing the waiting game, you might have hurt him by favouring a bonehead over him.

Good guys don't like losing out to greaseballs- it makes the lady concerned seem suerficial and easliy led which aren't nice traits. I'd be pissed if I were the first guy...

The ladies man dude probably said something like "aw yeh I scored her she was great" which makes you sound like a slapper.

My opinion, you're only in the job a few months and have already been with two guys. Quit while you're ahead (or behind in this case) or you'll end up with a very bad reputation.

AARRRGH

I can't understand your post.

Are you trying to say you've been seeing two guys from the same office over the period of a few months?

If that's the case, I'm not surprised it has gotten complicated!

My advice to you is to seperate your love life and work life.

codeblack

You have to try to put yourself in his shoes, if you found out he slept with a girl in work who is known for sleeping with guys from the workplace.... would you feel like all the flirting, talking and kissing really meant something to him? Would you think of him a little differently?

bnagrrl

Deleted User wrote: »

The ladies man dude probably said something like "aw yeh I scored her she was great" which makes you sound like a slapper.

My opinion, you're only in the job a few months and have already been with two guys. Quit while you're ahead (or behind in this case) or you'll end up with a very bad reputation.

Exactly. You were hired to work, not hook up with colleagues.

Keep a professional distance with these two guys and hope it will all be forgotten about in a few weeks and in future keep your professional and privates lives separate.

Firetrap

Got to agree with the others. Mixing business and pleasure is a bad idea. Keep your head down from now on and don't even look at the other guys in your office.

wylo

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi!
Really need help as i am really confused!

Started work in my new job a few months ago. Was taken out on the 2nd nite by my new work friends and hit it off with one of the guys. Nothing every happen but when we would meet in work all smiles and small bit of flirting. So was warned about another guy at work to stay away from him, as he was a bit of a ladies man. Well i fell for his charms and was with him a couple of times. Sort of ****ed up the situation myself and didn't really get the hint for a while. So eventally got the hint and started enjoyin myself again. All the while the flirtin was continuing with the first guy. So he started textin and 2 wks ago we went out for a drink(s) and had a ball, really hit it off and had a few kisses!! It was great! Texting continued and all smiles in work. Then a few nites later all out from work and he was best friends with guy no 2, (they don't usually talk)!! And now all of a sudden, he is not speaking, texting or smiling at me any more!!
Anyone any clues as to were it all went wrong?????

I know i made my mistakes and regret ever been wit the ladies man and making a fool out of myself!! But how can a guy who has been flirting with you since day one all of a sudden lose interest!!

Mixed up and Confused!!

OP you sound very young to be honest, you cant just go flirting with a guy, get off with another guy he knows and then hope everything stays the same with the first guy. Thats not how it works. This exact story happened me a long time ago, and I just completely lost interest, stopped texting, stopped flirting and just treated the girl like a normal workmate. The truth is hes probably embarrassed and a small bit hurt (if he liked you) but hes smart enough to back off now.

On saying that you can still save it if you REALLY like him, simply talk to the guy and say your embarrassed etc about being with the other guy. BUT you will have to do ALL the work at this stage because theres no way hes gonna make a fool of himself again. So you'll nearly have to ask him out if you like him that much.

Otherwise forget about it,

Wibbs

Fact is the double standard for men and women exists and is likely to continue to do so. You may have gotten away with it if you were male, indeed it may even have worked in your favour, but in this case, guy number one thinks you're too easy and no challenge. Probably game over TBH.