Unhappy unmotivated ? ..anyone have the same problem and sort it?

LegacyUser

hey so im 19 adn jst starting coll. im smart and i didnt do that great in the leavin considering what i shudve gotten. i cant make myself work. id rather sit stare at the wall.
and because of this i end up wasting an entire weekend(like i did today...and am still doing its sunday half ten and i still havent started my essay due for tomor) and doing everything sloppy last minute.
im not very happy at home. and im gaining loads of weight. like real overeating and cant seem to stop.
Even as im reading this right now i know ur all gna say possible depression. i think the root of my problem is that i think im gay but cant come out. i have a boyfrend and hes great adn loves me and i find it hard to hurt him. I dont htink my paretns would take it well!
But then again maybe i am jst unhappy because i am.
Its terrible but i HAVE a real fixation on my weight. its all i can think about...and yet i just binge eat really suddenly and completely regret it after. Ive tried everything.

I was just wondering if anyones gotten over something like this?
I'd really appreciate your help...i need it..

LegacyUser

You're not alone.
Doing my leaving at the mo. Used to love learning now i just don't seem to care. I know that i should feel stressed and be worried about it but i just cant seem to find the motivation to do anything. I dont feel depressed though. its a strange grey area almost.
It's not however because i'm gay and fear disclosure.
I do however feel somewhat detached from my clique because im fed up with feeling the need to be accepted as "one of the lads".
As for the overweightness i have also found myself becoming very self conscious, especially about my health. i want to eat healthy and excercise but i just don't.

Very hard to put it into words so sorry if my post seems a bit all over the shop.

LegacyUser

Hi

Maybe you should move into a shared house for college.It seems living at home might not be good if you think your parents would not be happy that you are gay.You would have so much more freedom too and it would distract you for a while.Have you considered that at all?
Guilt over not pleasing parents does terrible things.

the weight issue i have struggled with myself, i find places like weightwatchers and unislim are great. If you dont want to go to meetings then you can do it from home, you just order everything that you need online.and no one needs to know.

hilltop

You poor thing. You sound like you're under alot of pressure. It probably sounds very simple but don't try and deal with everything together. Take one thing at a time an deal with it. Make 2 lists of things to do, one short term of things you can sort out fairly quickly such as you essay. The second should be of long term goals. Speak to someone about your weight issues and sexuality. Not wanting to hurt other people should not mean sacraficing your own happiness.
I don't know if this helps but I find when I under pressure or stress it works for me. Take care of yourself and the rest will take care of itself.

LegacyUser

You pretty much described me there. It's nice reassuring to know I'm not the only one!

It's gonna sound cheesy and silly, but the things that are helping me atm are self help books and joining a sport. Sport helps with self esteem aswel as weight so its two birds with one stone. Try limit your internet and tv time, get involved in voluntary work or a new hobby, something that will get you outdoors and keep your mind busy. And if you drink/do drugs try to stop or cut down, self medicating just creates new more complicated problems. And if you dont already, maybe consider taking centrum or something, and omega 3.

Good luck! I hope you feel better!

LegacyUser

Thanks guys, i really appreciate it. I love boards gets everything off my chest. yeah i do really want to move out of my house. i have a really bad relationship with my mohter constant fighting adn jst kinda leaves me wrecked all teh time and unwilling to do anything. but i have no money... so there goes that one!
I know this sounds stupid and pretty much my ENTIRE post has been a big sob story (my bad im actually not a whiney at all!!! boards jst brings out the worst in me!) but im kinda hating the person ive become. lazy and undetermined but i just can't seem to get out of the slump even though i know im in one!