Irish guys?

curious82

Hello everyone,

I'm wondering if any of you can give me some insight to Irish men...

I live in the U.S. and recently met a guy from Belfast. I met him when I was out with friends one night and we exchanged numbers and went on a date the following week. It was a good date and at the end, he said he'd definitely be in touch but his brother was visiting and he couldn't make definite plans right then. Over the next week, he texted me twice to say he couldn't wait to see me again and was thinking of me and called once to say hi and then disappeared... which seemed weird after he'd texted to tell me how excited he was about me.

So this might be a stupid question, but is texting someone like that after a date typical to do in Ireland even if you don't want to see that person again? I'm just wondering if there is some cultural difference I'm not getting here. It just seemed weird that he'd even bother texting/calling if we weren't going to hang out again...

I'm just out of a four year long relationship so this guy was not anything serious for me. But we live in the same neighborhood so it's likely I'll run into him again and I'd like some idea of what the hell happened.

Thanks!!!

Generally Irish men don't make an effort like that unless they are really interested.
There is alot less bs with them than yanks typically.

Maybe his status changed.

Red Hand

Moonbaby wrote: »

Generally Irish men don't make an effort like that unless they are really interested.
There is alot less bs with them than yanks typically.

Wouldn't agree with that. Many Irish revel in BS.

seanybiker

he might be just busy. Some lads are plonkers some are not. Im one of the nice fellas ha ha. Text him yourself and see if he gets back to you.

samhail

seanybiker wrote: »

he might be just busy. Some lads are plonkers some are not. Im one of the nice fellas ha ha. Text him yourself and see if he gets back to you.

+1
he could be waiting for you, giving you space, incase you were simply replying to his txts being nice and not interesting in him atall

marbar

ring his phone. if he doesn't answer or ring back tomorrow then i'[d say forget about it

if he initiated all of the texts, maybe he's waiting for you to make your move this time

metrovelvet

His brother is visitng from Belfast? You wont here from him until the visit is over. He is on a bender.

^^^^^^

she's right!!!

Black Swan

All Irish men are not the same. They come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, and personalities. Text him and see what happens.

marbar

metrovelvet wrote: »

His brother is visitng from Belfast? You wont here from him until the visit is over. He is on a bender.

i must have missed this part of the first post!!!

correct all the way

[Jackass]

*Interjects to clarify any further cultural diferences*

I don't know if "bender" is a term used the same in the US as in Ireland or if it's a universal thing, but being on a bender doesn't mean he's in a cheap hotel room somewhere on top of a homosexual, it means he's out drinking with his brother getting sh*tfaced and catching up.

Text him and ask him how the visit is going or something, he will more than likely be delighted to hear from you as I don't think Irish guys (or guys in general) follow up and say they are really excited to see you again and call etc., unless they're serious about seeing you again.

little red

metrovelvet is 100% correct me thinks. its not like a fella to text or call just to say he can't wait to see you again if he doesn't mean it. i'd give him a shout to see how the visit is going.

he may have gone quiet due to losing or breaking his phone as often happens on benders

metrovelvet

[Jackass] wrote: »

*Interjects to clarify any further cultural diferences*

I don't know if "bender" is a term used the same in the US as in Ireland or if it's a universal thing, but being on a bender doesn't mean he's in a cheap hotel room somewhere on top of a homosexual, it means he's out drinking with his brother getting sh*tfaced and catching up.

Text him and ask him how the visit is going or something, he will more than likely be delighted to hear from you as I don't think Irish guys (or guys in general) follow up and say they are really excited to see you again and call etc., unless they're serious about seeing you again.

No it isnt used the same as in Ireland.

OP- the only difference between Irish and American men is that the latter pick up the tab and don't drink as much as the former. Oh, and the latter have better teeth as a general rule.

LolaLuv

Moonbaby wrote: »

Generally Irish men don't make an effort like that unless they are really interested.
There is alot less bs with them than yanks typically.

Maybe his status changed.

I'm still waiting for these BS-less Irish boys. Been here for two months and have already encountered quite a bit of crap!

helimachoptor

PillyPen wrote: »

I'm still waiting for these BS-less Irish boys. Been here for two months and have already encountered quite a bit of crap!

I've been in Ireland 26 years and have yet to find a BS free girl :eek::eek:

Op drop him a txt, as said above most likely he's out on a drinking session, from my own experience of being abroad and friends coming to visit, he will be incommunicado until his brother goes home!

LolaLuv

helimachoptor wrote: »

I've been in Ireland 26 years and have yet to find a BS free girl :eek::eek:

Right, but everyone knows that women are irrational and manipulative the whole world over...surely this does not surprise you?

Galvasean

PillyPen wrote: »

I'm still waiting for these BS-less Irish boys. Been here for two months and have already encountered quite a bit of crap!

They post in Lads of the Ladies Lounge

LolaLuv

Galvasean wrote: »

They post in Lads of the Ladies Lounge

Heading to the Lads of the Ladies Lounge...

LightningBolt

Goes off to post in the lads thread.

Oh wait, now I'm being sleazy lol

DirkVoodoo

I dunno, I think people are the same everywhere. I know that sounds a bit naff, but I have never gone to a different country and been like "the women are so much better than irish women here". It always seems more or less the same. Maybe a different accent or a different currency, but women always act the same and the guys always act the same.

I have been guilty of and receving the same treatment as the OP more or less, thats just people, not really a nationalistic concept.

Anyway, just my 2 cent.

Wibbs

I agree with dirkvoodoo. I would say that in general Irish guys are easier going. Certainly more than latin types. I am of the opinion that irish men and irish woman are for the most part pretty cool. Just not always with each other:D

Darragh29

He's in the pub with his brother, relax!

truecrippler

samhail wrote: »

+1
he could be waiting for you, giving you space, incase you were simply replying to his txts being nice and not interesting in him atall

Excellent answer. I'd usually text or ring a girl after a date to show that I'm still interested but I don't go over board with texting as I tend to not want to annoy her so I wait for her to text or ring back in her own time.

He's just giving you space and doesn't want you to rush into it and having a possible dating disaster the next time you's see each other.

stovelid

Could be any number of reasons.

As an Irish male, I'm intrigued that my intentions and behavior are completely interchangeable with the other million-plus Irish men in the 16-60 age bracket.

dotsman

stovelid wrote: »

Could be any number of reasons.

As an Irish male, I'm intrigued that my intentions and behavior are completely interchangeable with the other million-plus Irish men in the 16-60 age bracket.

Agree completely. I think Irish men are as varied as any other nationality.

I think the only cultural difference is that, in the US, the dating game is much more structured. One example of this is men are more likely to "pick up the tab" etc for the dates, whereas, with me, I want a girlfriend, not a prostitute. I have no problem paying, I'm not cheap!, but don't want the girl to think she's getting a free ride (either because this is off-putting to her, or because she enjoys it too much and is only after my money!). In this modern age, the girl is likely to be earning just as much as me! In Ireland, I think the dating game is far more relaxed, resulting in it being sometimes easier, sometimes more complex - but that just makes it more interesting;)!

If you're interested in him, you need to initiate the next contact. If that was me, always contacting the girl, and her merely replying but never initiating, I would assume that she's not very interested and is just being polite etc.

metrovelvet

^ That says a lot.

I would never take someone out to dinner or a movie and expect them to put out and then if they did think they were a prostitute and I would not insult a man by assuming he would think this way if he were pick up the tab at dinner either.

Pretty low class thinking if you ask me.

Galvasean

Massive thread on who should pay the tab here.

dotsman

metrovelvet wrote: »

^ That says a lot.

I would never take someone out to dinner or a movie and expect them to put out and then if they did think they were a prostitute and I would not insult a man by assuming he would think this way if he were pick up the tab at dinner either.

Pretty low class thinking if you ask me.

Sorry, keep re-reading this but am not able to figure out what you are saying (depending on where I'm guessing the punctuation should be; the context of what you're saying changes!). Seriously - not trying to be smart or anything:)

metrovelvet

My bad ...a run on sentence.

If I were treating someone to dinner or a movie or whatever.... I would in no way expect them to put out. However, if something did happen, from a delicate kiss to a whopping all night bang, I would not think of the person as a prostitute for doing so. Nor would I think that a man who picked up the tab would think I was a prostitute for putting out. I think that is pretty lousy thinking tbh.

Hmnnn... better not put out on dates until it is long long established that I am not a hooker.

Zaph

OK folks, the whole "who pays?" thing has been done to death, so let's not drag this thread off topic with that one. If you really feel the need to continue that particular debate please see the link in the post below from my dinosaur loving friend.

Galvasean wrote: »

Massive thread on who should pay the tab here.

metrovelvet

metrovelvet wrote: »

Hmnnn... better not put out on dates until it is long long established that I am not a hooker.

or you pay for dinner! then you can bang him all night long!

Galvasean

Zaph wrote: »

my dinosaur loving friend.

brianthebard

Deleted User wrote: »

or you pay for dinner! then you can bang him all night long!

:eek: Do you want to buy me dinner?? :pac:

metrovelvet

No. I don't pay for dinner. In fact, call me a meanie, but when I was living with someone and he lost his job and I paid the rent for several months, I still expected him to pay for dinner out.

I went out with one man [Irish] who didnt pick up the tab. I was warned about this by other men, American, who sadly to my regret, turned out to be oh so right about what a sign of pathological selfishness this was. Never again.

Wibbs

Clearly you have a misguided and narrowly defined idea of selfishness. then again as Zaph said that's for another thread

metrovelvet

Wibbs wrote: »

Clearly you have a misguided and narrowly defined idea of selfishness. then again as Zaph said that's for another thread

Quite the opposite. It was a sign, the tip of the iceberg. You misunderstood.

Nevyn

oh well we live and hopefull learn, really not much point in bitching about shoulda, woulda, coulda.

Bottle_of_Smoke

He's British not Irish. :P

Did you call him again. Ring him up for another date, see what happens.