Asking girls out too much?

LegacyUser

Long story short, I'm in my early 20s, I've never had any luck with girls, but in the last few months I've started getting my act together and asking girls out.

Since around July I've asked 3 girls out, but the farthest they've ever went was a first date. I've come not to expect anything more now, so rejection doesn't hit me as hard as it used to.

But each consecutive time I ask a girl out, it gets easier, and I'm beginning to think it may get to the stage where I'm milling through girls on a monthly or even shorter basis. This isn't to say I don't like these girls or that I'll take the first thing going, but this is how things have been shaping up lately. It's almost like; Ask girl out, get rejected, move on swiftly, ask next girl out.

I've no confidence issues asking girl after girl out, but what does it make me? Will I start getting known as the guy who'll ask you out the moment you speak to him? I can see potential for it to get to the stage where I'll already have asked out the friend of a girl I'm asking out, and one thing I know is that girls talk.

This seems like a bad road to go down, so do I have to be more selective with the girls I take an interest in?

I'm fed up with being single, and I've finally developed the confidence to make a move on girl, but now I'm starting to see that confidence wasn't the only obstacle that I was facing.

TheZohanS

Well you must be doing something right if you're going on all these dates!

You might just have to fine tune what you talk about when you're on the dates, don't look at every girl as girlfriend potential.

Make sure the conversation is interesting, you're having fun and that your date is having fun.

There are tons of nice girls out there and one or two that you just won't gel with.

Either way just have fun, geting to know new people can be great craic, and every single date you go on will give you more experience with dates, you'll soon find out what works and what doesn't.

samhail

also... if you get into a mind set that girls will only go out on a first date with you then you will put that image forward to them too... which might turn them on... leading to them not going out with you again...... starting the entire cycle over again !

A_SN

Unreg235 wrote: »

Long story short, I'm in my early 20s, I've never had any luck with girls, but in the last few months I've started getting my act together and asking girls out.

Since around July I've asked 3 girls out, but the farthest they've ever went was a first date. I've come not to expect anything more now, so rejection doesn't hit me as hard as it used to.

But each consecutive time I ask a girl out, it gets easier, and I'm beginning to think it may get to the stage where I'm milling through girls on a monthly or even shorter basis. This isn't to say I don't like these girls or that I'll take the first thing going, but this is how things have been shaping up lately. It's almost like; Ask girl out, get rejected, move on swiftly, ask next girl out.

I've no confidence issues asking girl after girl out, but what does it make me? Will I start getting known as the guy who'll ask you out the moment you speak to him? I can see potential for it to get to the stage where I'll already have asked out the friend of a girl I'm asking out, and one thing I know is that girls talk.

This seems like a bad road to go down, so do I have to be more selective with the girls I take an interest in?

I'm fed up with being single, and I've finally developed the confidence to make a move on girl, but now I'm starting to see that confidence wasn't the only obstacle that I was facing.

Well I'm definitely the wrong person to be giving advices, not having ever dated anyone and only having been on only one date (an overtly non-romantic one at that), but, my philosophy is to get to know people really well, as in become friends with people, and let mutual feelings naturally grow as time goes by, and at one point when you feel that feelings have built up to a certain point that you feel the need to move beyond friendship, then you can try opening yourself up a bit and "making your move", although that's probably not the image I'm trying to convey here.

If anyone thinks it's an awful advice to give, feel free to express your dismissal of my views .

flyton5

you say your fed up with being single? maybe thats where your problem lies....are u a bit overzealous when on the date?? nothing stinks like desperation than someone giving it way 2 much on the 1st date....

i reckon the best thing for it is ask the girl does she want to go to the cinema......now u pick a movie from one of the following; a horror movie(gives her an excuse to curl up 2 u or grab ur hand....in which case u can hold that for a bit) or a really boring movie(gives u an excuse to whisper stuff in her ear about how bad it is and then suggest doing something else....also if she smacks u for going in for the kill very few ppl will see).

if u wanna go for food dont insist on paying....pick a reasonably priced resteraunt and go halves.....plenty of nice italian resteraunts about the place....if u want less formal in dublin i'd recommend the epicurian food hall over the halfpenny bridge....

anyways best of luck.....

oh btw....at the end of the night if you've gone that far without a kiss usually a hug is the way to go....but a cheeky arse feel can make/break your night....in my experience it rarely fails!!!

yomamasflavour

Technically if you invite somebody out and they accept your invitation, the onus is on you to pay for the meal, night out etc.

Its one thing to go halves with your girlfriend after you've been going out for a while, but expecting them to split the bill on a first or second date certainly does not give off a good vibe.

As regards the op - two/three girls isn't a lot, and since you managed to get a few first dates out of asking them, you're doing pretty well.

When I first started asking girls out, I used to have a problem with getting the confidence up to speak to them, and so I'd end up making a comical mess of it - quite funny when I think back:D

The advise I'd give would be - Get to know the girl before you ask her out, see if ye click first.
I know that doesn't really apply to someone you meet on the street and fancy, but it definitely makes it a lot easier as regards having things to talk about on a date.

Kell

Unreg235 wrote: »

I've no confidence issues asking girl after girl out, but what does it make me?

Um- a self confident sort of person who has no issue getting what he wants? Would you rather be some sad f*ck licking their wounds every weekend because they dont have the bálls to ask someone out then come on here on a Monday going "how do I get a girl"?

Chill out and give yourself a break. You have nothing to be concerned about.

(The sh*t kids worry about these days. F*ck me)

K-

snorlax

I think your overthinking this way too much.

I think asking someone out for cofffee or something is a great way to suss each other out without it being ´a date´ or having drunkeness involved! if the person likes you they´ll want to see you again...no loss there if they do / don´t and it could be a new friend..also women like talking

In fact i think more girls should take the initiative on asking guys out..:)