Catholic Marrying a Protestant/Atheist

Sofa_King Good

Hi.
I was wondering if someone more informed than me could help me out?I am a practicing Catholic from a traditional Catholic family. My Fiance is baptised a Protestant and for all intents and purposes is an Atheist.
My question really is can a Catholic marry a non-Catholicin Catholic church? and by a Catholic Priest? as this is really important to me personally.
Also,there is possibilities of getting married in her country, vast majority Protestants, In the absence of a Catholic church, can a Catholic priest perform the ceremony in a Protestant building?

CiDeRmAn

The non-catholic would have to make certain assurances that any children of the union would be raised catholic and make vows to that effect.
Of course, they'd be vowing on a god they don't believe in, but if one is going to argue that point, why get married in a church at all.

The protestant in a catholic church thing, really, you should go and talk to your local priest, he will have guidelines for you to follow to make your day happen.
Not sure if a priest can officiate at a wedding in a protestant church, he would have to get some sort of permission from the bishop of the diocese I'd say.
Also, if the protestant church in question is her local one, talk to the vicar/minister there, he/she will also be able to help with the correct procedures.

Sofa_King Good

Thanks

CerebralCortex

You could have a humanist ceremony.

getz

my dad was a catholic my mother a protestant -the only rule the priest wanted was that the children was to be catholic-mind you this was in 1939 in england--i would like to think the churches have moved on a bit by now , out side ireland it dose not seem to matter now

Sofa_King Good

CerebralCortex wrote: »

You could have a humanist ceremony.

Forgive my ignorance, but what is that?

Sofa_King Good

getz wrote: »

my dad was a catholic my mother a protestant -the only rule the priest wanted was that the children was to be catholic-mind you this was in 1939 in england--i would like to think the churches have moved on a bit by now , out side ireland it dose not seem to matter now

I guess the dilemma is being true to my own ideals and respecting her wishes beliefs.

Climate Expert

Correct me if I'm wrong but according to the bible as a Catholic the man you are marrying is a sinner and in doing so you would be living in sin. How can somebody who calls themselves catholic marry an atheist?

Sofa_King Good

Climate Expert wrote: »

Correct me if I'm wrong but according to the bible as a Catholic the man you are marrying is a sinner and in doing so you would be living in sin. How can somebody who calls themselves catholic marry an atheist?

Well you are wrong in that "the man I am marrying" is a woman, and I am pretty sure that thats still not okay with the Vatican.

what is the issue you have with it exactly?

CerebralCortex

Sofa_King Good wrote: »

Forgive my ignorance, but what is that?

http://www.humanism.ie/cere.html

getz

found a good web site that may help you its--www.interfaithmarriage.org.uk all the best

Climate Expert

Sofa_King Good wrote: »

Well you are wrong in that "the man I am marrying" is a woman, and I am pretty sure that thats still not okay with the Vatican.

what is the issue you have with it exactly?

Just you call yourself a catholic but you are willing to openly sin. Does it not strike you as a bit hypocritical? A true catholic would only marry another catholic .

Fanny Cradock

I don't believe the OP is looking to justify his marriage to you, Climate Expert. Let's not go there.

extremetaz

I do wedding video and photgraphy professionally.

This isn't an unusual situation, happens all the time and doesn't cause any problems. It's not a big deal (at least not in the eyes of the priests, not saying people on here won't have their own take on it - but untimately, the church has no problem with it that i've seen)

Gambler

CiDeRmAn wrote: »

The non-catholic would have to make certain assurances that any children of the union would be raised catholic and make vows to that effect.
Of course, they'd be vowing on a god they don't believe in, but if one is going to argue that point, why get married in a church at all.

The protestant in a catholic church thing, really, you should go and talk to your local priest, he will have guidelines for you to follow to make your day happen.
Not sure if a priest can officiate at a wedding in a protestant church, he would have to get some sort of permission from the bishop of the diocese I'd say.
Also, if the protestant church in question is her local one, talk to the vicar/minister there, he/she will also be able to help with the correct procedures.

That's actually no longer the case. I'm an Atheist and I married a catholic this year. We had a catholic wedding mass and I didn't have to make any such vow. The new format is that my wife had to agree to raise any children as catholics as long as doing so did not put our marriage at risk (or something along those lines).

The big problem was because I wasn't baptised we had to get a dispensation from the bishop for her to marry me which involved a boiler plate letter we had to fill out and post on.

Feel free to drop me a PM with any specific questions you might have and I recommend talking to the priest who will be overseeing your wedding ceremony!

Sofa_King Good

extremetaz wrote: »

I do wedding video and photgraphy professionally.

This isn't an unusual situation, happens all the time and doesn't cause any problems. It's not a big deal (at least not in the eyes of the priests, not saying people don't have their own take on it.)

Yeah I hear wedding photos are quite the norm these days, just kidding, sorry, and thanks!.

Gambler

CerebralCortex wrote: »

http://www.humanism.ie/cere.html

If the family are practicing catholics as the OP states I don't think they'd be at all satisfied with the humanist ceremony. In my case that last thing I wanted was a catholic ceremony but it turns out you can actual tailor the ceremony enough that it shouldn't be objectionable to most Atheists.

You might get a few questions about why the groom isn't taking communion but to be honest no-one noticed it or mentioned it at my wedding

Sofa_King Good

Climate Expert wrote: »

Just you call yourself a catholic but you are willing to openly sin. Does it not strike you as a bit hypocritical? A true catholic would only marry another catholic .

I'm no theologian, obviously or I wouldn't have asked the initial question.
But I fail to see how marrying someone outside my own faith is contrary to me living as a Catholic...But I am open to being wrong. Perhaps you could enlighten me?

jill_valentine

Any advice for a Catholic marrying a Hindu? I'd imagine the Church might find that a bit weirder than a Catholic & Non-Catholic Christian. I don't even know if a church wedding is feasible, but it's quite important to the bride's family. Help?

tricky D

Climate Expert wrote: »

Correct me if I'm wrong but according to the bible as a Catholic the man you are marrying is a sinner and in doing so you would be living in sin. How can somebody who calls themselves catholic marry an atheist?

The bible is a christian text and not an exclusively catholic one, so that makes no sense also considering that the bible was formed before the catholic/protestant split. Unless of course you can provide the passage where it says that.

OP my folks (church of england and catholic) were married in a catholic church a few decades ago. There no significant issues apart from the raising the kids as catholic. My sister also recently married a protestant and the priest had no issues at all. It really depends on how easygoing the priest is on these matters and most are these days.

wolfpawnat

Climate Expert wrote: »

Just you call yourself a catholic but you are willing to openly sin. Does it not strike you as a bit hypocritical? A true catholic would only marry another catholic .

This is the modern world so we shouldn't disciminate against anyone because of religion. You cannot help who you love. I rarely ever go to mass, but I do take time to reflect on the concept of God and do often say thank you sincerely to the heavens when something goes well or if I pull through a bad situation.
My baby, which is due to be born in Feb, outside marriage as well so I can only imagine you'll be informing the Magdeline laundry for me, is being baptised as a Catholic, in my boyfriends local church. I am not doing this because it is customary or because of pressure, but merely for the child to decide in later years that if it wants to practise Catholism, that it can do so.
My priest, who is a good family friend, stated that going to mass every Sunday and saying a decade of the rosary each day is not what makes a good Catholic. He has also performed inter-religious marriages and his opinion is, "you cant help who the Lord has sent to this earth to be your soul mate" and really he's closer to God than us so I'll take his word over yours!:)

Sofa_King Good

Gambler wrote: »

If the family are practicing catholics as the OP states I don't think they'd be at all satisfied with the humanist ceremony. In my case that last thing I wanted was a catholic ceremony but it turns out you can actual tailor the ceremony enough that it shouldn't be objectionable to most Atheists.

You might get a few questions about why the groom isn't taking communion but to be honest no-one noticed it or mentioned it at my wedding

Yeah, thanks for the originial suggestion,but I agree, that would kind of defeat the purpose. And my mam would never forgive me. I'm not interested in secular personally, but each to their own.

wolfpawnat

jill_valentine wrote: »

Any advice for a Catholic marrying a Hindu? I'd imagine the Church might find that a bit weirder than a Catholic & Non-Catholic Christian. I don't even know if a church wedding is feasible, but it's quite important to the bride's family. Help?

Sorry to post two threads at once, I'm not too sure how to Quote 2 people in the same thread.
My step-sister married a Muslim recently(I know its not the same as a Hindu but still outside Christianity) and what happened was there was a Muslim ceremony in England and a Catholic blessing in a church in Ireland, Im not 100% sure of all the details, but a good priest would be able to give you all the details.

Climate Expert

wolfpawnat wrote: »

This is the modern world so we shouldn't disciminate against anyone because of religion. You cannot help who you love. I rarely ever go to mass, but I do take time to reflect on the concept of God and do often say thank you sincerely to the heavens when something goes well or if I pull through a bad situation.
My baby, which is due to be born in Feb, outside marriage as well so I can only imagine you'll be informing the Magdeline laundry for me, is being baptised as a Catholic, in my boyfriends local church. I am not doing this because it is customary or because of pressure, but merely for the child to decide in later years that if it wants to practise Catholism, that it can do so.
My priest, who is a good family friend, stated that going to mass every Sunday and saying a decade of the rosary each day is not what makes a good Catholic. He has also performed inter-religious marriages and his opinion is, "you cant help who the Lord has sent to this earth to be your soul mate" and really he's closer to God than us so I'll take his word over yours!:)

You take the word of the bible over everything as it is the word of God. If you don't believe that then you are not a Christian. Living in a modern age has nothing to do with it.

The bible is a christian text and not an exclusively catholic one

Different faiths prefer different versions.

jill_valentine

wolfpawnat wrote: »

Sorry to post two threads at once, I'm not too sure how to Quote 2 people in the same thread.
My step-sister married a Muslim recently(I know its not the same as a Hindu but still outside Christianity) and what happened was there was a Muslim ceremony in England and a Catholic blessing in a church in Ireland, Im not 100% sure of all the details, but a good priest would be able to give you all the details.

Thanks dude, this is a big help. So it is possibly possible?

They're going to have a ceremony in India, they just weren't sure if they could have one here too.

So was the blessing notably different from your standard everyday marriage?

wolfpawnat

jill_valentine wrote: »

Thanks dude, this is a big help. So it is possibly possible?

They're going to have a ceremony in India, they just weren't sure if they could have one here too.

So was the blessing notably different from your standard everyday marriage?

Well if your local parish priest wont do it, there are plenty out there that will happily do it.
Only real difference was the church had more colourful outfits:)
No the priest was very good, normally people know when to stand and sit themselves but the priest said "and now we stand for" and he explained in more detail than normal the concept of holy communion.
He had the best time out of all of us nly he couldnt pronounce the grooms name properly. He spent a good half hour talking to the Grooms family about lent in contrast to ramadam(I know thats probably not spelt correctly).
There is no real difference, they signed the registery and all just like normal.

jill_valentine

wolfpawnat, you're a hero, cheers.

Your priest sounds awesome, btw.

Sofa_King Good

Gambler wrote: »

That's actually no longer the case. I'm an Atheist and I married a catholic this year. We had a catholic wedding mass and I didn't have to make any such vow. The new format is that my wife had to agree to raise any children as catholics as long as doing so did not put our marriage at risk (or something along those lines).

The big problem was because I wasn't baptised we had to get a dispensation from the bishop for her to marry me which involved a boiler plate letter we had to fill out and post on.

Feel free to drop me a PM with any specific questions you might have and I recommend talking to the priest who will be overseeing your wedding ceremony!

Thanks! I will.

wolfpawnat

jill_valentine wrote: »

wolfpawnat, you're a hero, cheers.

Your priest sounds awesome, btw.

No bother, hope the wedding goes according to plan, on both sides:)

Ya, he's a bit mental, in a good way though:)

He's travelling up the country because my baby is being baptised in the fathers home town. The local priest and himself will perform the ceremony, contrary to the belief of one or two users of this thread, priests these days know that it is the 21st centuary and rather than making people feel as though the church is against what they want, they try their best to facilitate us all.

That last bit is for you too OP, good luck on the up coming wedding and enjoy married life:)

Sofa_King Good

Climate Expert wrote: »

You take the word of the bible over everything as it is the word of God. If you don't believe that then you are not a Christian. Living in a modern age has nothing to do with it.

Different faiths prefer different versions.

ADDRESS OF HIS HOLINESS JOHN PAUL II TO THE BISHOPS OF THAILAND ON THEIR "AD LIMINA" VISITCastel Gandolfo - Friday, 30 August 1996

"Authentic interreligious dialogue and understanding within families is not furthered by religious indifferentism but by love for the truth and by sincere mutual respect"

Sofa_King Good

wolfpawnat wrote: »

No bother, hope the wedding goes according to plan, on both sides:)

Ya, he's a bit mental, in a good way though:)

He's travelling up the country because my baby is being baptised in the fathers home town. The local priest and himself will perform the ceremony, contrary to the belief of one or two users of this thread, priests these days know that it is the 21st centuary and rather than making people feel as though the church is against what they want, they try their best to facilitate us all.

That last bit is for you too OP, good luck on the up coming wedding and enjoy married life:)

Cheers. Much obliged. And the same goes for everyone else.

Gareth37

Sofa_King Good wrote: »

Hi.
I was wondering if someone more informed than me could help me out?I am a practicing Catholic from a traditional Catholic family. My Fiance is baptised a Protestant and for all intents and purposes is an Atheist.
My question really is can a Catholic marry a non-Catholicin Catholic church? and by a Catholic Priest? as this is really important to me personally.
Also,there is possibilities of getting married in her country, vast majority Protestants, In the absence of a Catholic church, can a Catholic priest perform the ceremony in a Protestant building?

Why would an atheist want to get married in a church?

Also, surely the children will be at risk from the atheistic beliefs? Is this not something that would worry you? Satan will use any gap to leak in.

Gareth37

getz wrote: »

my dad was a catholic my mother a protestant -the only rule the priest wanted was that the children was to be catholic-mind you this was in 1939 in england--i would like to think the churches have moved on a bit by now , out side ireland it dose not seem to matter now

I would like to think that this man made society would catch up with the church and God. Not the other way round.

The_Conductor

jill_valentine wrote: »

Any advice for a Catholic marrying a Hindu? I'd imagine the Church might find that a bit weirder than a Catholic & Non-Catholic Christian. I don't even know if a church wedding is feasible, but it's quite important to the bride's family. Help?

Hold two seperate cermonies- catering to both faiths- along with one large banquet (keeping meat and alcohol on one side for those who would expect it- and possibly vada (fermented dal) or some of the more Hindu wedding foods- to the other side- everyone will be happy......

My brother married an Indian girl, who while Catholic, had a Hindu mother. It was incredibly interesting and a wonderful experience.

Climate Expert

Gareth37 wrote: »

Why would an atheist want to get married in a church?

Also, surely the children will be at risk from the atheistic beliefs? Is this not something that would worry you? Satan will use any gap to leak in.

Gareth do you believe Satan has got a hold of his atheist partner? A Catholic should be attempting to show this person God's light and not marrying them as a sinner.

jill_valentine

smccarrick wrote: »

Hold two seperate cermonies- catering to both faiths- along with one large banquet (keeping meat and alcohol on one side for those who would expect it- and possibly vada (fermented dal) or some of the more Hindu wedding foods- to the other side- everyone will be happy......

My brother married an Indian girl, who while Catholic, had a Hindu mother. It was incredibly interesting and a wonderful experience.

Can't wait to find out what the Groom's family are going to make of a rabble of sunburned drunks...

Joking, I'm sure everyone will be on their best behaviour.

Hinduism Bonus = Elephant! ELEPHANT!

Fanny Cradock

Climate Expert wrote: »

Gareth do you believe Satan has got a hold of his atheist partner? A Catholic should be attempting to show this person God's light and not marrying them as a sinner.

Gareth and Climate Expert, we are not having this discussion on this thread. Start a new one if you must.

Gareth37

Climate Expert wrote: »

Gareth do you believe Satan has got a hold of his atheist partner? A Catholic should be attempting to show this person God's light and not marrying them as a sinner.

Satan has got a hold of us all. We have to work very hard to fight him off but he is very sneaky.

In my own personal opinion I see Satan working very cleverly in atheists. He will make the atheist look good and respected; usually they are seen as nice, genuine, friendly people that others around them look up to and regard as models. Then when the words they speak come out people will respect the words and maybe even repeat them.

In the case of a Christian Satan's aim is to corrupt their minds as much as possible through his own spirit and through atheists and other weak spirited people.

It is pure psychology. If humans can use psychology so can Satan for psychology controls the mind and allows one to take control of another's mind.

Gareth37

Fanny Cradock wrote: »

Gareth and Climate Expert, we are not having this discussion on this thread. Start a new one if you must.

Sorry! Won't respond anymore!!

Fanny Cradock

Thank you. PM me if you want me to move you post into a new thread.

Sofa_King Good

Gareth37 wrote: »

Why would an atheist want to get married in a church?

Also, surely the children will be at risk from the atheistic beliefs? Is this not something that would worry you? Satan will use any gap to leak in.

I'm not doubting your good intentions, but it that was the case then the only safe thing to do would be lockup my new family in a Waco Style compund. I can assure you that my Fiance, despite being an Atheist has a very high set of morals and there is more love in her heart than many Christians I know.
by the way, she would choose not to be Married in a church; she would do it for me.

jill_valentine

^ Aw.

...

Sorry, I'm a girl. I couldn't help it.

Congratulations, you kids.

Gambler

Gareth37 wrote: »

Why would an atheist want to get married in a church?

For several reasons. I did it because it was the sort of wedding my wife always wanted and because her family are religious enough that it was important to them. From my point of view What I don't believe can't hurt me I suppose. The priest knew me very well before we got married and so knew my feelings and was very sensitive to that when we were deciding what readings and stuff to go with.

Gambler

jill_valentine wrote: »

^ Aw.

...

Sorry, I'm a girl. I couldn't help it.

Congratulations, you kids.

Hehe oh yeah, congratulations!

CiDeRmAn

Thanks for clearing that up, it's not something I have to update for myself, as I got married in 2000.
Nice to see things are getting a little progressive.

And Climate Expert, save the sermons 'til Sunday

CerebralCortex

Gareth37 wrote: »

Satan has got a hold of us all. We have to work very hard to fight him off but he is very sneaky.

In my own personal opinion I see Satan working very cleverly in atheists. He will make the atheist look good and respected; usually they are seen as nice, genuine, friendly people that others around them look up to and regard as models. Then when the words they speak come out people will respect the words and maybe even repeat them.

In the case of a Christian Satan's aim is to corrupt their minds as much as possible through his own spirit and through atheists and other weak spirited people.

It is pure psychology. If humans can use psychology so can Satan for psychology controls the mind and allows one to take control of another's mind.

:pac::D:pac::D:pac::D:pac::D:pac::D

Sofa_King Good

Gareth37 wrote: »

Satan has got a hold of us all. We have to work very hard to fight him off but he is very sneaky.

In my own personal opinion I see Satan working very cleverly in atheists. He will make the atheist look good and respected; usually they are seen as nice, genuine, friendly people that others around them look up to and regard as models. Then when the words they speak come out people will respect the words and maybe even repeat them.

In the case of a Christian Satan's aim is to corrupt their minds as much as possible through his own spirit and through atheists and other weak spirited people.

It is pure psychology. If humans can use psychology so can Satan for psychology controls the mind and allows one to take control of another's mind.

You mean like Priests/Ministers etc?