Eating disorder/feeling down all the time

LegacyUser

Hi, I've had an eating disorder for the last 4 years. It's only been in the past year that i've admitted to myself that i have one. I get sick after anything i eat even a sweet or a bar. So prob 5-6 times a day maybe more... in the past year or 2 its started to get me really down. Or i dont know if thats the reason why i feel so bad but i'm guessing so. Right now im just under 7 n a half stone but can sumtimes go down to 7. I really want to stop doing what im doing but its so hard... I wouldnt have the guts to tell anybody because id feel so stupid. The thoughts of somebody knowing makes me sick to my stomach....
I hardly ever leave my house anymore. Only to go to work. (in a pub)
On the days when im not working i could easily just spend the whole day in bed and not want to get up. I hardly go out with my friends anymore on nights out or go out to dinner with them as im always thinking ahead to how it'll be safe to go to the toilet to get sick after eating. Like i dont want to be around people incase they start to notice? Im always thinkin how i just want to go away and have no worries watsoever like live out on a farm where i have a stress free life n enjoy the countryside and the peace etc ( i know its weird...)
Im really bad at trying to explain things so this probably makes no sense at all
But just wondering if anyone has any advice... or has been through any of this and can relate to me..
thanks.. xx

Handsome Bob

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi, I've had an eating disorder for the last 4 years. It's only been in the past year that i've admitted to myself that i have one. I get sick after anything i eat even a sweet or a bar. So prob 5-6 times a day maybe more... in the past year or 2 its started to get me really down. Or i dont know if thats the reason why i feel so bad but i'm guessing so. Right now im just under 7 n a half stone but can sumtimes go down to 7. I really want to stop doing what im doing but its so hard... I wouldnt have the guts to tell anybody because id feel so stupid. The thoughts of somebody knowing makes me sick to my stomach....
I hardly ever leave my house anymore. Only to go to work. (in a pub)
On the days when im not working i could easily just spend the whole day in bed and not want to get up. I hardly go out with my friends anymore on nights out or go out to dinner with them as im always thinking ahead to how it'll be safe to go to the toilet to get sick after eating. Like i dont want to be around people incase they start to notice? Im always thinkin how i just want to go away and have no worries watsoever like live out on a farm where i have a stress free life n enjoy the countryside and the peace etc ( i know its weird...)
Im really bad at trying to explain things so this probably makes no sense at all
But just wondering if anyone has any advice... or has been through any of this and can relate to me..
thanks.. xx

It's not weird at all; life can be so crazy at times that we all need a little time-out away from out hectic lifestyles.

I have been on the other extreme to you OP; overeating because of the pressures of society. I only started to get healthy when I realized I had a problem. You've taken the first step; you've recognized that you have a problem, you have the strength in you now to seek help. Pick someone who is closest to you, someone you can trust, and tell them you need help. You'll be in my thoughts OP.

LegacyUser

I dont know if i can.. Not for a while anyway...
Thanks for your help