Sad old man? Or ok?

LegacyUser

Where to begin. I'm 29. I split up with my gf 3 months ago. Ive scored women I have no attraction to whatsoever every night I've been out since, maybe to feel close to someone again. Sick of it. I've gone back to college. I was fine at the start but since making friends with the youngers of the class I find myself socialising with them the odd nights aswell as messing in class. Sad. Don't know exactly whats happened to me I seem to have gone back a few years in maturity, it feels strange. Anyway when I was at college when I was 18, I fell fixated on this one girl, she just had something that made me skip a beat..anyway the same thing has happened to me with an 18 year old from the class. She comes accross as being mature but maybe thats cos I feel younger in my head as I said before. I can't figure things out, I know it's probably wrong for me to even look at her that way, but I'm in a weird place..has me splitting up got anything to do with it or am I right to be looking for another relationship..? Is this girl just way too young and thats that? Is these all the sad symptoms of someone who has broken up...?!!! any help much appreciated.

Pretttig

Stop yapping, whats wrong with being attracted to 18 yr olds?

Bottle_of_Smoke

If she's a18 and you have a connection don't mess it up. f*ck the maturity issue, thinking about it is pointless.

I'm 23 and back at college. Yes 18 year olds can seem a lot youger but there are some 18 year olds I know with the same level of maturity as my same age friends.

You only get one life, don't miss out because you're unsure about "maturity"

meesa

temptationof wrote: »

Ive scored women I have no attraction to whatsoever every night I've been out since, maybe to feel close to someone again. Sick of it.

Ah Jeez God love ya!!! Now I`m depressed!:pac::pac::pac:

Steve.Pseudonym

Well, you mention the possibility of it being about you having broken up with your girlfriend, I think the fact that you think that possibility yourself indicates you have issues surrounding the past relationship. Perhaps you should give yourself some more time alone to straighten things out in your head. I don't think the issue is that she's 18, but more that you need to deal with any past issues you may have before starting a new relationship. Also, as you already know, the difference between the two of you in terms of life stage and maturity would be large, possibly that's a layer of complication neither of you need. But, there's nothing wrong with trying it, if you think you're ready to enter a new relationship and that the two of you could work. Or if you just want to sleep with her, just keep things on the level and there's no issue.

ELLIEJ

Whats wrong with being single for a while, making the most of college and not rushing into another relationship...

TBH 18 and 29 is a big gap and once you finish college how is she going to fit in with your 31 / 32 year old friend who are probably only interested in weddings and sprog talk...

There are plenty of mature students in college so you dont need to score the kids..

Profiler

Look think of it this way, in 30 years time you will be... what 59 years of age... and you'll be wondering what it is like to REALLY be a sad old man and to score with an 18 year old.

In short go for it.

Joey From Friends FTW

LegacyUser

Listen mate, no matter how "mature" you think she is, at 18 she is barely more than a child. And you're a very nearly a decade older than her! Think about that, ffs! Is it really so hard to find a girl closer to your own age??

LegacyUser

I'm a bit older than you and the same kinda thing happened.... I don't fall very often for girls but every so often one will come along who I really connect with.

LAst one was 18 - we just got on very well and compared to her peers she was more grown up. And, she was a lot more interesting than many of the women I had encountered in the previous months. Funny, witty and also very friendly.

I made a pass which she refused very politely and we've become mates (loose) since then.

But then again, last night I met a really cute 37 year old I clicked with... similar interests, laughed all night and had a great time..... I'll see where that leads to.

The way I see it is this - if you were a 29 year old millionaire popstar / actor etc, and you were dating a hot 18 year old model, no one would blink an eye.

Aloysius Flyte

I'm sorry but an 18 year old and a 29 year old. - Worlds appart in some many ways.

A friend of mine was going out with an 29 year old when she was 18. She now looks back and sees how wrong it was on so many levels.

If its just a fling you want, go for it, but if it something more, then forget about it. She's at a different life stage and even if things do progress positively, she needs to live her young life and do all the things you've done and people your age have done

miss no stars

Ok let me put it this way.

My mother was 29 when I was born. I'm 20 now and there's still no way I'd go for someone that much older. It's a big age gap and a big ask of an 18 year old to fit in with your life stage. Maybe when she's 10 years older it would be less of a difference, but at 18 life is just beginning - college starting, plenty of freedom and in a few years plenty of money to enjoy the freedom with during early 20s...

iguana

miss no stars wrote: »

Ok let me put it this way.

My mother was 29 when I was born.

I don't get your point? My mother was 18 when I was born and she was more mature then than I will ever be. Everyone's different, so how any of us would react at a certain age is irrelevant.

OP, if you like this girl you don't want to ignore your feelings based on age issues and possibly regret it. Stay friends with her, keep an open mind and see what happens.

miss no stars

iguana wrote: »

I don't get your point? My mother was 18 when I was born and she was more mature then than I will ever be. Everyone's different, so how any of us would react at a certain age is irrelevant.

OP, if you like this girl you don't want to ignore your feelings based on age issues and possibly regret it. Stay friends with her, keep an open mind and see what happens.

I like how you ignored the rest of my post. Good going!

My main point, although not perhaps said explicitly enough, was to think of what the girl wants, and what she doesn't know she wants. She's 18; that's not adult enough to go getting into relationships with a guy who's almost 30.

I think the warning bells were something along the lines of "When I was 18 and first in college I was fixated on a girl (apparently the same age as him?). It's 11 years on, I'm 29, back in college (more power to you) but I'm still fixated on an 18 year old from my class"

OP, your head's obviously in a messed up place - stay well away until it isn't anymore.

Nevyn

There was 14 years between my grandfather and my grandmother, they meet when she was 17 and married when she was 18 and had their first child when she turned 19
They were happily married for 48 years and had 8 kids.

lorr3

TRY IT!!!! what have you got to lose. if this girl is interested in you and you click it could be something beautiful that makes you both happy. dont turn around somewhere down the line and think what if.....Be brave. Its obvious your finding it hard after the break up of your previous relationship but dont let that stop you from starting something fresh. In my eyes age is just a number. People are people, you get on thats it end of story doesnt matter what age they are.

aye

miss no stars wrote: »

My main point, although not perhaps said explicitly enough, was to think of what the girl wants, and what she doesn't know she wants. She's 18; that's not adult enough to go getting into relationships with a guy who's almost 30.

Thats her decision. We dont know her, so you cant paint every young person the same.

OP, if you have a connection, and she is into it too, then do what makes you happy.

iguana

miss no stars wrote: »

I like how you ignored the rest of my post. Good going!

My main point, although not perhaps said explicitly enough, was to think of what the girl wants, and what she doesn't know she wants. She's 18; that's not adult enough to go getting into relationships with a guy who's almost 30.

Perhaps when you were 18 you were in no place to be in a relationship with a 29 year old. But you can't speak for all 18 year olds. Perhaps this girl feels too young to be with a 29 year old. Or perhaps she'd like to settle down in the near future. Or perhaps she likes the OP an has an open mind about giving it a shot.

I had a great time in my late teens early 20's, but I'd have been happier to settle down younger than I did. And I was living with my husband by 23. If I'd met my husband at 18 I wouldn't have wanted to pass up on being with someone I love just so I could go to a lot of nightclubs, date a bunch of guys who weren't right for me and spend days on a smelly bus around Europe.