Never had a girlfriend

LegacyUser

i am in my late 30's and have never had a girlfriend. I have had problems which i am just starting to sort out now. (I have social phobia/anxiety and had no one to confide in). If i got a girlfriend now wouldnt she think this was weird?

Mr Benevolent

Sort yourself out first, then think about girlfriends. Easier that way.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Unregistered wrote: »

i am in my late 30's and have never had a girlfriend. I have had problems which i am just starting to sort out now. (I have social phobia/anxiety and had no one to confide in). If i got a girlfriend now wouldnt she think this was weird?

Well if you got a girl, she would have to be attracted to something about you right? Things are easier to deal with when you have someone, beit a mate, GF or family. You are getting help for your problems, great, that's the first step. Why not actively look for a girl at the same time? Although I always find that when you seek love you never get it

Bottle_of_Smoke

TRy not to worry about it. Going to a gym will increase your confidence. You've still got plenty of time ahead of you and its not abnormal for someone in their late thirties to be seeing someone in their twenties so there's lots of women out there too.

Perhaps try online dating

Manic Moran

No point in worrying about it until you've got a GF. Then, if she's a GF, she probably doesn't care about your past and will likely focus on present and future.

NTM

LegacyUser

i come from a sort of smallish town and have been the subject off the rumour mill. If i did get a girlfriend wouldnt people wonder about it?

by8auj6csd3ioq

Unregistered wrote: »

i come from a sort of smallish town and have been the subject off the rumour mill.

people who engage in putting people down are just trying to offload their self hatred on othere.F*** em

Unregistered wrote: »

If i did get a girlfriend wouldnt people wonder about it?

F*** em enjoy yourself and let em wonder and let gossips go to hell. If they do say it to you ignore it do not ever feel you have to explain or excuse yourself to 'them'. Just because you do not meet the criteria for 'normal' made up by small town gossips does not mean there is something wrong with you

ELLIEJ

Confidence is attractive to women - I say confidence and not arrogance - and you could improve your chances of meeting someone by improving your confidence and at the same time confidence will let you care less about what other people think...

A nice girl wont care about your past and wont use it against you but there is no need to broadcast it as soon as you meet someone. Get to know them a little and when you feel you an trust them then you can let them know a bit... Dont need to tell all about you straight away...

Dont panic.. There are thousands of single girls who would like a nice guy... Get yourself on the mend, work on your confidence and then start looking...

af_thefragile

Well, if you find a girl who likes you, i don't think it should be much of a big deal for her to find out that you've never had a girlfriend. Some girls actually find that quite attractive i think... It is a bit unusual but then its not a big deal. You could just say you never really found the time to get into a proper relationship to her to make it sound less unusual to her. Again, if you find a girl who really likes you, then it shouldn't really matter to her much as long as she knows you're a good man. Just don't tell her everything on the first date!

And OP I also do agree that you should first look at sorting yourself out before looking to find a girlfriend.

Húrin

Unregistered wrote: »

i am in my late 30's and have never had a girlfriend. I have had problems which i am just starting to sort out now. (I have social phobia/anxiety and had no one to confide in). If i got a girlfriend now wouldnt she think this was weird?

Think of it this way: I suppose you would not commit the folly of starting to talk about your ex-gfs in such a scenario, which is always a good mood-killer.

Marksie

Unregistered wrote: »

i am in my late 30's and have never had a girlfriend. I have had problems which i am just starting to sort out now. (I have social phobia/anxiety and had no one to confide in). If i got a girlfriend now wouldnt she think this was weird?

Dont put the cart before the horse. You have just started examining yourself and issues. Don't put pressure on yourself by thinking what may be until the situation arises
Concentrate on the now and what you have to do rather than what may be.

LegacyUser

im allmost 30 and never had a gf before:(

LegacyUser

as a girl, if i liked a guy enough to go out with him then the fact he didnt have a gf before wouldnt bother me. There's been tons of posts on here about people who have never had a gf/bf so you're not alone in that regard.
And i never really ask a guy about their past gfs anyway, so with me it wouldnt even come up unless he brought it up first.

LegacyUser

If u met the right person then no she wouldnt think it was weird, and anyone that thinks it is oviously isnt right for you. I wouldnt worry about it too much as there is much worse things than being abit inexperienced with girlfriends. I used to have a online friend who a year ago had never had a girlfriend, in fact he had never even kissed a girl and he was in his twenties, and now hes engaged! Whilst it might not appeal to every woman im sure alot would find it attractive and sweet and you do have good reasons for your situation. Internet datings a good way to meet new people and increase your confidence just put a nice pic up and be careful of who ur chatting to, good luck!

LegacyUser

Like the thread starter, I too am in my late thirties and have never had a girlfriend. I am kind of ashamed about it, I would never admit it to another living soul. The conditions haven't been right for me to have one and I'm not sure if they ever will be.
Also, like the thread starter, I have some "head issues" (anxiety, depression, crippling lack of confidence, social phobia). I have had possibilities to have a g'friend and I would like to have one if I could get myself sorted out but the above issues have prevented it.
So you are not alone, I know what it's like.