Young Male but Problems with Sex!!

LegacyUser

Hi, dont know what to do to be honest...I'm 22 years old have just started a great but pretty tough job that I like, after finishing college. Not to be too cheesy but a girl who I've been friends with, got on extremely well with her, all through college broke up with her boyf of over 4 years before the Summer started. We went our seperate ways for a few months but got together recently...I was over the moon!! But now when we "try" to have sex I cant keep an erection. Its crushing me, she has been very good about it but Im running out of excuses..there is only so many times I can be too hungover/drunk/tired not to "seal the deal".

During college I went to see a doctor about a bad set of exams I did. I wasn't eating or sleeping well and was in a pretty bad place due to problems at home with my family. I stopped going...thought I was fine...but had to go back after a month or two in a worse state than before with exams on the way. Since then I've been taking medication for anxiety and supposed to go back to him in a month to get off them.

I'm at a loss now though, things had REALLY turned around since then!! But now Im right back...I dont have a problem "getting it up"....its just when we are just about to have sex its like I go numb...

Its not a health/diet thing, I play alot of sport and go to the gym n that...I just seem to fall apart when the time comes. Its happened once or twice with other girls in the past...but not much...and I wouldnt be very "experienced"...any ideas!!?? Please help??? I cant see whats wrong!!

Pherekydes

From http://www.helpguide.org/mental/anxiety_medication_drugs_treatment.htm

Common side effects are:

* Nausea
* Nervousness
* Headaches
* Sleepiness



* Sexual dysfunction
* Dizziness
* Stomach upset
* Weight gain

Captain Ginger

I was going to go unreg for replying to this topic but I guess I'll bite the bullet.

First off, if you are using excuses like drink then I guess you have been drinking? This almost always screws me over if I drink too much so try to limit yourself sometimes.

If this isn't the case (like what sometimes does happen to me) I find a bit of foreplay before the sex itself usually gets me going and in the end she enjoys it more as well.

Good luck with it, I know it's a bitch.

homerun_homer

A lot of guys have this problem at some stage, I have and my friends have. For me it was simply a matter of nerves. I wouldn't have been one to have slept around much myself so when it came to someone who meant something to me then I felt so much pressure that when the time came (like you - no problem getting it up) I felt the race against time to put on a condom and then frustration.
This was just a mind thing for me and once I got less nervous and more comfortable with this partner I had no problem at all. The problem lies with overthinking it. She likes you and cares for you and isn't going to run a mile because this happens. I'm sure she is understanding if you talk openly about it.

shellyboo

Nervous22 wrote: »

During college I went to see a doctor about a bad set of exams I did. I wasn't eating or sleeping well and was in a pretty bad place due to problems at home with my family. I stopped going...thought I was fine...but had to go back after a month or two in a worse state than before with exams on the way. Since then I've been taking medication for anxiety and supposed to go back to him in a month to get off them.

Talk to your doctor! An awful lot of mood-affecting depression/anxiety meds can harm libido. I'd say you need to rule out that these meds are what's causing your problem before reading any further into it!

LegacyUser

Nervous22 wrote: »

Hi, dont know what to do to be honest...I'm 22 years old have just started a great but pretty tough job that I like, after finishing college. Not to be too cheesy but a girl who I've been friends with, got on extremely well with her, all through college broke up with her boyf of over 4 years before the Summer started. We went our seperate ways for a few months but got together recently...I was over the moon!! But now when we "try" to have sex I cant keep an erection. Its crushing me, she has been very good about it but Im running out of excuses..there is only so many times I can be too hungover/drunk/tired not to "seal the deal".

During college I went to see a doctor about a bad set of exams I did. I wasn't eating or sleeping well and was in a pretty bad place due to problems at home with my family. I stopped going...thought I was fine...but had to go back after a month or two in a worse state than before with exams on the way. Since then I've been taking medication for anxiety and supposed to go back to him in a month to get off them.

I'm at a loss now though, things had REALLY turned around since then!! But now Im right back...I dont have a problem "getting it up"....its just when we are just about to have sex its like I go numb...

Its not a health/diet thing, I play alot of sport and go to the gym n that...I just seem to fall apart when the time comes. Its happened once or twice with other girls in the past...but not much...and I wouldnt be very "experienced"...any ideas!!?? Please help??? I cant see whats wrong!!

To be honest I have the exact same problem, I would love to know some solutions, because I have tried to just not think about it as much ect. but didn't really work

AnonoBoy

It happens. If you really like the girl and have known her for a long time then nerves that you didn't think were there can come to the fore. You need to relax with her - go to bed and not have it be about sex, well not penetration anyway.

Slowly but surely you'll get over it. Just make sure you explain to her that it's not that you don't find her attractive in the least (some girls can get paranoid that it's them that's causing it).

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies...Yea I have talked to her about it...Didn't have much choice she wanted to know "What was going on!!"..and yea I had to make it clear to her that it was nothing to do with attraction at all and nothing from her side!! Have researched the meds I'm on a bit and while like some people have mentioned anti-anxiety treatments in general can harm libido this particular one doesn't mention it. Thinking about it I guess it is a nerves that I'll have to get over