Confused and doubtful

galaxyminstrels

Ok thing is, was seeing a guy for about 4 months. We weren't strictly going out as didn't see each other enough due to circumstances beyond our control. We stopped seeing each other due to this but i gave him an ultimatum to either go out with me as i thought it would make it easier to see each other or else we finish. We finished. Stayed friends etc then about two months ago met up and ended up kissing each other. Both realised we have strong feelings for each other and said we'd give the going out a go. I need to move out from home for many reasons and i know it would make it easier to see each other. We have said we will start going out when i move out of home.
Thing is I'm having doubts about his feelings for me. Don't know if im being silly here or not. He has never said he really likes me or stuff like that first, its always me and then he says me too or whatever. Never says you look pretty tonight. Again always me doing initiating. Also we were discussing christmas and i said i have a good idea for a present for you and he said don't bother i'm not getting you anything. I have mentioned this since and he still says i'm not getting anything. It's not the fact that i'm not getting a present that bothers me as i can go out and buy myself anything a want but his attitude. Pretty cold and harsh. He also never texts out of the blue surprise messages, again always me who initiates 99% of the contact.
My question is, do i wait for us to go out and see if things get better? Do i talk to him and if so how? Or do i just tell him i need more from a relationship and get out now?
I know from this he sounds like a nasty person, but he really isn't. Is so honest and i think that's one of the reasons i really like him, he says it as it is. So any help would be really appreciated.

outspann

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news: but if he isn't hammering down your door in these first few months with the bountiful energy of young love, then it's unlikely he ever will.

I know that sounds harsh, but it doesn't take you moving out of home for him to be able to text you. Not very auspicious.

galaxyminstrels

OP here. Was going to move out of home if i was never considering being with him. I don't get on with my mother and that is the reason more than our relationship.
But thanks for your help, i have being having my doubts and think i'm losing the energy waiting for the day when he says something sweet and nice to me.

Kirnsy

galaxyminstrels wrote: »

He has never said he really likes me or stuff like that first, its always me and then he says me too or whatever. Never says you look pretty tonight. Again always me doing initiating. Also we were discussing christmas and i said i have a good idea for a present for you and he said don't bother i'm not getting you anything. I have mentioned this since and he still says i'm not getting anything. Pretty cold and harsh. He also never texts out of the blue surprise messages, again always me who initiates 99% of the contact.

you want more and you deserve better....

id say drop him..

star-pants

If he's just saying things as it is - then he's pretty much saying this isn't serious (IMO) because in the early stages of a relationship it's usually a lot less cold than he appears to be. Him saying 'don't bother cuz I'm not getting you one' is a pretty harsh thing to say - but maybe he's putting it out there that he doesn't see this as serious. You appear to have more invested in this than he does. You want more, and he doesn't seem to. You could talk to him and explain that you quite like him and that you want to know where you stand with him and choose from there, or just walk away. I'd ask first to be sure, but he does sound somewhat distant.

Armadillo Sho

Hiya OP,

Really.. and this is not trying to be mean in any way or harsh, but this guy does not seem to care about you as much as you seem to care about him.
You guys parted for a reason before and getting back is not going to solve anything or make that reason go away... I just think you guys kissed that night because it felt right that moment, it does not mean that you guys should try again.

I mean, if you are seeing someone and you like them, they should like you back as much, that is what the whole deal is, and whats the point of this relationship if he does not make you feel good or loving to you.

You left once.. and i am sure you had a good reason, you should leave again and that should be it.

Again sorry if this came out harsh or anything...
xxxL

Bottle_of_Smoke

Nah he's not interested. I don't really understand why he's seeing you at all considering the christmas present remark.

He might like the idea of having a backup or something. I really don't get the moving out of home thing.

galaxyminstrels

Thats what i thought people would say. Thanks for the help. Text him today and asked him a time that suited for me to ring him later and he said i don't know. I will talk to him as soon as possible and say i deserve better and if he doesn't start pullling up his socks i'm gone.
Moving out of home is due to the fact i do not get on with my mother at all. She belittles me, calls me a slut when she found out i was sleeping with him btw im 21. She does everything to make me feel like crap. Also controls and needs to know where i am at all times. The moving out thing would make it easier for me to see him and make my whole life a lot easier too. There's that explained.
Thanks for the help. Think it's the awakening i need coz im not putting the energy into it when he wont.