May be a recycled question but.......

Handsome Bob

Hey all. I have a few questions that have been bothering me for quite a few years; how have you dealt with personal tragedy? Has it rattled your faith? If your faith remained strong, what was it that prevented you from losing faith?

I'm not asking these questions in a cynical sense, I just want to hear a range of opinions.:)

PDN

When I became a Christian I had already been through a lot of crap (death of mother while I was a toddler, sexual abuse, alcoholism, homelessness) and I certainly didn't expect my faith to give me a free pass from anything else bad happening to me.

When worse stuff did happen to me (the death of a daughter) then I found my faith strengthened me and enabled me to cope with the tragedy much better.

I think it depends what kind of faith you are talking about. Many nominal 'Christians' have inherited a kind of cultural identification with Christianity from their parents but have never really made a decision to be a follower of Christ. I don't see how that kind of 'faith' will help one in times of trouble any more than it will help you to be Irish or to have red hair.

However, those who have made a conscious decision to be a disciple of Christ, and who have studied the Bible and gained a biblical worldview, usually find that their faith strengthens them when crap happens.

Handsome Bob

PDN wrote: »

When I became a Christian I had already been through a lot of crap (death of mother while I was a toddler, sexual abuse, alcoholism, homelessness) and I certainly didn't expect my faith to give me a free pass from anything else bad happening to me.

When worse stuff did happen to me (the death of a daughter) then I found my faith strengthened me and enabled me to cope with the tragedy much better.

I think it depends what kind of faith you are talking about. Many nominal 'Christians' have inherited a kind of cultural identification with Christianity from their parents but have never really made a decision to be a follower of Christ. I don't see how that kind of 'faith' will help one in times of trouble any more than it will help you to be Irish or to have red hair.

However, those who have made a conscious decision to be a disciple of Christ, and who have studied the Bible and gained a biblical worldview, usually find that their faith strengthens them when crap happens.

You've been through a lot PDN, I admire your resolve and faith.

I was a Catholic but as you said that was mainly due to my cultural identification with it. I didn't enjoy going to Mass every Sunday (but maybe that was down to me being a kid and the lack of charisma from the priests:pac:).

However, when I was younger I loved the New Testament; the messages that Jesus had, of compassion or love or of not judging people, really struck a chord with me. Unfortunately when tragedy struck in my life those story's no longer comforted me.

PDN

While it is nice to see Jesus held up as a good example, or His stories as morally inspiring, that will not stand us in much stead in times of trouble. I believe the kind of faith that carries you through tragedy is the kind where you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Handsome Bob

PDN wrote: »

While it is nice to see Jesus held up as a good example, or His stories as morally inspiring, that will not stand us in much stead in times of trouble. I believe the kind of faith that carries you through tragedy is the kind where you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

After all the things that happened to you though, it must have been tough not to question your personal relationship with Jesus Christ no? For instance you lost your mother, it was a cruel thing to happen at such a young age.

midlandsmissus

Hi LZby5

Just going from what you said before: you lost your godmother who had a young daughter. and she was the second child of her parents that died?

Is it because she left a young daughter behind that this is really bothering you? Or is it the first person close to you that has died? Death is always very hard and I feel for you.
I would be v.grateful if you told me a bit more thanks.

I read this near death experience story the other day which might be of interest to you. The woman in question tried to commit suicide because she had had a hard life, and in fact had lost her mother at a very young age. She woke up in this dark space where people around her looked confused. She thought of Jesus and then he appeared to her. He said 'Don't you know this is the worst thing you could have done? Nobody can skip the suffering. We all must go through it. If you quit now you will have to start again' So she went back.

It was all about that as spirits we have to go through different stages of learning. We have to go through suffering to get to the next level.

If you look round, do you know anybody with a perfect family?Everybody has had some kind of suffering in some way. I think we all have to go through it to learn. I myself, actually lost my father at a young age. My boyfriend's father just died of cancer aswell. It's a strange world alright.

Now these are only my views, and please don't take any offence, as I know death is a very sensitive issue to discuss. But it does get easier over time aswell.

Handsome Bob

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Hi LZby5

Just going from what you said before: you lost your godmother who had a young daughter. and she was the second child of her parents that died?

Is it because she left a young daughter behind that this is really bothering you? Or is it the first person close to you that has died? Death is always very hard and I feel for you.
I would be v.grateful if you told me a bit more thanks.

I read this near death experience story the other day which might be of interest to you. The woman in question tried to commit suicide because she had had a hard life, and in fact had lost her mother at a very young age. She woke up in this dark space where people around her looked confused. She thought of Jesus and then he appeared to her. He said 'Don't you know this is the worst thing you could have done? Nobody can skip the suffering. We all must go through it. If you quit now you will have to start again' So she went back.

It was all about that as spirits we have to go through different stages of learning. We have to go through suffering to get to the next level.

If you look round, do you know anybody with a perfect family?Everybody has had some kind of suffering in some way. I think we all have to go through it to learn. I myself, actually lost my father at a young age. My boyfriend's father just died of cancer aswell. It's a strange world alright.

Now these are only my views, and please don't take any offence, as I know death is a very sensitive issue to discuss. But it does get easier over time aswell.

It's more than just about her death-it was the manner in which she died that disturbs me. My godmother died of cancer. Initially it went into remission in 2001 (which was lucky as she was misdiagnosed at first) and every year following that she had regular check-ups. In 2004 she began to feel pains in her legs and spine, countless visits to her doctor insued and she was reassured that the cancer hadn't returned. Months went by and eventually a second opinion revealed that the cancer had returned; and by then it was too late.

My godmother not only died a horrible death, but she went the mistortune of not one misdiagnosis but two. I accept death happens; but it bothers me with the way it frequently manifests itself. We go through grief, taht's fine, but the pain and suffering experienced by the likes of my godmother and her family is utterly pointless; I don't see how I, or anyone else, is meant to strengthened by it.

midlandsmissus

LZ5by5 wrote: »

It's more than just about her death-it was the manner in which she died that disturbs me. My godmother died of cancer. Initially it went into remission in 2001 (which was lucky as she was misdiagnosed at first) and every year following that she had regular check-ups. In 2004 she began to feel pains in her legs and spine, countless visits to her doctor insued and she was reassured that the cancer hadn't returned. Months went by and eventually a second opinion revealed that the cancer had returned; and by then it was too late.

My godmother not only died a horrible death, but she went the mistortune of not one misdiagnosis but two. I accept death happens; but it bothers me with the way it frequently manifests itself. We go through grief, taht's fine, but the pain and suffering experienced by the likes of my godmother and her family is utterly pointless; I don't see how I, or anyone else, is meant to strengthened by it.

One last thing, this was indeed an awful thing to happen to your godmother, but I dont think it was pointless. Suffering has a point: to make sure things dont happen again. These misdiagnoses made the headlines and shamed the health service into action. Imagine that hundreds of women in the future could be saved from the same thing happening to them, because of the publicitiy surrounding these cases. Now WHY it was your godmother who had to go through it in the first place I dont know, but her death will have brought alot of good to other people lives in the future.

BrianCalgary

A couple of years ago my duaghter got kicked in the stomach playing soccer and spent a month in hospital with plnety of tubes in her. On admittance there was a chance she would have needed surgery that had a 15% mortality rate. We turned to God and He took care of us and our daughter. There was certainly strength from Him at that time. We learned that our daughter doesn't belong to us but to God and if deceided to take her home we were actually OK with it. Maybe not like it but OK with it.

Fifteen months later my son went for open heart surgery and spent 4 days in ICU. The strength that came from God and thepeace that we had for the 4 hours he was in surgery was unbelievable. We knew that Christ was with us as we sat in ICU and saw our son looking so darn bad.

I found that through these times my faith was definitely strengthened.

JimiTime

My brother in law died when I was 11. He was knocked off his pushbike by a van. He and my sister had married 11 months earlier, and their son was just 2 weeks old. That was possibly the most awful memory I have, getting woken up in the early hours by the most awful screams downstairs as the folks just heard the news. I'm fillin up just thinking about it:( My dad died from a brain haemorrage when I was 16. On both of these horrible occasions, I never questioned my faith at all. In fact without it, I don't know how I would have got through. I did question my faith later on, but not prompted by events like these. My faith was like the cure for the pain in many ways. That knowledge that its not the end. Death happens. Just because I'm a Christian I'm not immune. Heck, better Christians than me have suffered fate's I pray I'll never see. Stephen being stoned to death etc. Even Christ himself suffered one of the most horrid deaths. The key thing is that thanks to Christ, death is not final. Christ in conquering death, gave us a hope. My dad and my bro are merely sleeping, and though I'd love them to wake up now, I'm comforted by the knowledge of the ressurection.

Have to say, I'm also uncomfortable by the common phrases used in christianity like 'gods taken them home' etc. Just makes little sense to me, and would provide no comfort to me personally. I'd also take little comfort in the assurances of religious leaders giving out cliché after cliché at funerals. I've been to the funerals of lovely people, and also of the most horrid of people (don't ask). Its the same cr@p for them all. Their words mean absolutely nothing to me personally. I think PDN hit the nail on the head, its about your personal relationship with God, thats what gets you through.

Dades

Some of you guys have had stuff to deal with I can only imagine (so far). Respect for holding it together.

This thread reminds of this Jesus tale I always remember from my younger years:

A man had a dream one night. In his dream, he was walking along the beach with the Lord. As they walked, scenes from the man's life flashed across the sky. When he looked down, he saw two sets of footprints etched in the sand; one set belonged to him, the other to the Lord. As they continued to walk, he noticed that, at the saddest and most trying times of his life, there was only one set of footprints in the sand. He asked the Lord, "When I needed you the most, why did you leave me?" "My son, my precious child" replied the Lord, "I would never leave you. During those times of trial and suffering, when you saw one set of footprints...That was when I carried you."

Even reading that now, I get the shivers. The power inherant in that story is palpable. If I wasn't such a dyed-in-the-wool heathen - this would have me signed up straightaway!

Sorry for the interlude.

Handsome Bob

Dades wrote: »

Some of you guys have had stuff to deal with I can only imagine (so far). Respect for holding it together.

This thread reminds of this Jesus tale I always remember from my younger years:



Even reading that now, I get the shivers. The power inherant in that story is palpable. If I wasn't such a dyed-in-the-wool heathen - this would have me signed up straightaway!

Sorry for the interlude.

Yep, my Mum has that tale framed in more than one part of the house.

Thanks for the sharing lads, I can only envy the strength that you all had, especially Jimi and Brian, that kept you going through her own personal tragedies.

kelly1

Dades wrote: »

Even reading that now, I get the shivers. The power inherant in that story is palpable. If I wasn't such a dyed-in-the-wool heathen - this would have me signed up straightaway!

Sorry for the interlude.

Welcome input Dades. There's hope for you yet!