Friend likes Girl, Girl likes me, I like Girl - Girl is very hot!!!

LegacyUser

So heres my problem :

Theres this girl absolute stunner shes has been asked to do photoshoots with magazines such as ZOO, FHM etc. unbelievable body and everything and completely sound. Well anyway my mate is really, really into her but heres the thing I found out that she is well into me. Now normally I would just leave it as at the end of the day it is my friend after all but the thing is from what I heard the guy doesn't really stand a chance hes really quiet, passive and a nice guy whereas I would be a lot more confident, talkative and I suppose I have the 'bad boy' type image (GOD THAT SOUNDS GAY) that she really goes for. So we've been flirting loads and I am considering making a move I mean this girl is the type of girl you would fantasize about and I really don't think I should pass this opportunity when all it would be for my friend is a fleeting dream. I suppose the main problem is he talks to her loads and she is always ringing him and he thinks shes into him as well but she told me last night she isn't into him at all sexually and only sees him as a good friend.

Honestly I'm not a bad person we were talking last night and she started rubbing my leg and I knew where things were going to head so I made my excuses and left even though it killed me but on the way home I started thinking should I pass this opportunity I mean would I honestly be a bad person to hook up with her when my friend has no chance?

peekyboo

Aargh I would hate to be in your position...and I'm a girl!!!

TBH it sounds like lust more than genuine liking on your part. Ok so the girl is amazing but if she's off doing shoots then let's face it, it'll not be long before she's living in the UK full-time and will no longer be around. On the other hand, your good friend is your friend for a reason and he may never forgive you if you get off with this girl and will it be worth it losing him?

It'll be hard (ha ha) but you may just have to let this one go. Friends are more important than boys or girls that pass through our lives!

Reganio 2

I was in the same situation as your friend and it hurt when my mate went for the girl. Now he is still my best but it did really hurt, and if I am honest I don't know the best way to cause less pain to your mate if you wanna go for it.... I reckon say that you really like her and that if he really hates you won't make a move. If my mate had of said that I would have went fair enough.... I would have been hurt for a while but not as bad as it was in the end.

Handsome Bob

It's a tough situation. I wouldn't suggest talking to your mate about it because he is bound to take it the wrong way. I mean what would you say? "Alright mate, that girl you're into isn't interested and she actually wants me". No, I wouldn't go there at all.

If you think it's more than lust between yourself and this girl maybe you should sit her down and talk to her about it. Tell her you want to be with her, but you won't do anything until she sits your friend down and tells him that she only see's him as a good friend and nothing more.

Your mate is bound to show some resentment but alas that is unavoidable, what ever you decide to do that will happen.

sorrywhat

hmmmm its a toughie alright.

Personally if it was me (i am a girl) I would go there. What if your friend takes it really bad. Is she worth messing up your friendship? cos lets face it right, if he says yeah its ok and if he gets pissed off and ye sort it out there will always be that resentment there.

personally i dont think ye're friendship would be the same if you went out with that girl. hot or not .

Wagon

I remember i used to be mad about this bird (who was also a really good mate of mine too), absolutely nuts. Then she went out with my mate for a few years. Yeah there was jealousy on my part but I got over it and now we're still best mates. Never see her anymore though. Ah well.

What I'm saying is there's certain lines you shouldn't cross, such as not going out with a mate's ex or housepet (cats are heartless). But there's nothing really wrong here. You like her and she likes you and there seems to be genuine attraction. If he liked her enough he should man up and chat to her about it properly rather than being a little boy and looking through the window. He'll be pissed off for a while, but he'll get over it. Good mates look out for the lads and don't stop their friends from being happy. Make sure she's made it clear to him that she's not interested in that way then away you go.

biko

She should let him down gently (tell him about the friend thing) and not string him along/mess with his head.

If you are serious about this girl, go for it. It will get messy and if you think she is worth losing a friend over then fire away.
Best of luck

Jew Gold

Wow, bit of a sticky situtation alright.
I find it just a little funny that she's not in the same situation as you, you know? If she regards him as a good friend then she would not want to hurt him either! So maybe you might think what her intentions are with you? If she has no problem hurting a friend, then you aught to think about it just a little longer coz it could mean your friend getting doubly hurt!
But I do agree that you should let him know you're into her before you do make a move.

LegacyUser

Strongly agree with Jew gold here! If she is making moves on you without thinking about hurting this guy who she regards as a "good friend" then have serious doubts! She 's likely to be just wanting get her bit of you before ditching you and leaving you and you mate broken hearted at some stage!

ziedth

Ok i'm going ta make a couple of assumptions here:

1. Your not a 15 year old girl in saved by the Bell
2. Your Friend Doesn't Love this girl
3. You and this girl like each other

If the answer too all three above is yes then make a move on her, Even if she does know that your friend likes her because she is so deadly she is prob used to not being interested in some guys so why should she take a special interest in your mate to know him back gently.

NOW, even if she is self involved I would still imagine she would be one hell of a notch on your bed post.

Your friend will get over it, If I liked this deadly model bird and my mate pulled her sure i'd be sickened but I wouldn't end thr friendship.

Thats my two cent anyway.

Jew Gold

Ah now hang on sec, he did say his friend really really likes her, so one aught to assume that the OP means that his friend's interest in the girl is at east as strong as his own!

And Screech got hurt in S.B.T.B!

MagicMarker

If you really liked her i'd say go for it, but you don't, you just want your hole, is it worth hurting a friend over? No, it's not.

WindSock

Yeah but it's getting your hole from a model, that's different. I'd say go for it. You are both into her for most likely the same reason. Do you think your mate would cockblock you if he were in your position?

ergonomics

TBH I think you're more interested in this girl for her looks than for her personality. In other words, you just want to make a move so you can say you banged the hot chick who got offers to model for Zoo/FHM. On the other hand you said your friend is 'really into her'.

Ask yourself this, how much do you value your friendship? Enough to sacrifice it for a couple of shags with the hot girl? Or enough to realise that your friend likes her a lot more and that you respect that so will back off?

_blank_

Go for it dude.

This hot girl fancies you, and you are asking on an internet forum if you should do anything about it?

Your friend will get over it.

If you don't, you will spend the rest of your life thinking "Damn, that hot girl wanted me and I did nothing".

barryfitz

One of you should nail this girl before she gets away/famous (it doesnt matter which of you it is she is fair game by the sounds of it). and the one that doesnt get her should high five the one who does. Thats true friendship.

My two cents. :pac:

Trinity

What would your friend do if the tables were turned do you think?

She wont be the first girl with a hot body and she wont be the last so if thats the only reason you wanna get it on dont bother. She could be crap in bed anyway.

If your friend is quiet reserved and a nice guy its possible he doesnt have much confidence and it would be a bit of a knock to know this girl didnt like him but chose you which could hurt his self esteem further. And it wont be jealousy either btw.

So if hes a good friend do the right thing and keep it that way. Girls come and go pardon the pun and if youre as confident as you say you shoudlnt be short of offers in the future.

Karen_*

Unless you're mad about the girl and would like a relationship then leave it be. Not worth upsetting a friend because you want a notch on your bedpost. For love maybe but not for a conquest.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Divide how much you like this girl by how much you care about your friendship with the guy and multiply by a hundred.

He has no "right" to be annoyed but due to human nature he will be annoyed.

If you shag her or start a relationship with her, he's not going to want to be your friend. If you want to remain friends with him, don't do that.

If you'd rather get it on with her then do it, just don't expect things to be ok with the guy in the next 10 years.

I don't think there's any middle ground here so it's all up to you**











**But bear in mind you will resent him loads if you don't get to hit this and she goes off with a third party.

Baird

For crying out loud this is simple, make a move.
If you dont someone else will so why not?
Your friend is too shy and unless she throws herself at him nothing will probably happen there so why on earth not?

St Bill

Well OP, which is more important to you? Your friendship with your mate or ego (and maybe more) massage? When you've figured that out, then you'll know what to do.

ziedth

If this girl was his Friends "EX" i'd say one thing even if his mate shagged her wanted more but she didn't I'd tell the OP to go for it but be careful and weigh up the possibility of hurting his mate.

IMO guys generally don't care about a friend getting with someone they like. If they do they could do with a serious reality check, Only if he is Mad in love with this girl OP don't go for her.

Bottle_of_Smoke

ziedth wrote: »

IMO guys generally don't care about a friend getting with someone they like. If they do they could do with a serious reality check, Only if he is Mad in love with this girl OP don't go for her.

I can state categorically that opinion is wrong. Many may hide it, but they care.

Húrin

Jew Gold wrote: »

Wow, bit of a sticky situtation alright.
I find it just a little funny that she's not in the same situation as you, you know? If she regards him as a good friend then she would not want to hurt him either! So maybe you might think what her intentions are with you? If she has no problem hurting a friend, then you aught to think about it just a little longer coz it could mean your friend getting doubly hurt!
But I do agree that you should let him know you're into her before you do make a move.

Bah, girls throw around the word "friend" quite frivolously when it comes to boys.

Des wrote: »

If you don't, you will spend the rest of your life thinking "Damn, that hot girl wanted me and I did nothing".

That's totally ridiculous! At worst he would regret it until he finds another girl who likes him.

davyjose

Your friend has no claim on this girl, and anything he says is just cock-blocking. You aren't 15 year old girls, therefore he has no right to get bitchy about it TBH.

Enjoy dude, enjoy

davyjose

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

If you shag her or start a relationship with her, he's not going to want to be your friend. If you want to remain friends with him, don't do that.
.

So he should avoid doing things that other people have a problem with in spite of his own feelings?
If his friend wants to end a friendship over something petty, then the OP has no control over that.
I've had it happen me, and I've done it myself, and we've moved on. Real friendships don't end over crushes. And that's all your friend has - a lousy crush.

LegacyUser

OP here ended up hooking up with her last night told my mate in the club i was going for it and he got all pissed off drank himself into oblivion and then started a fight which I had to break up. We ended up bringing him back to her appartment because he was in such a state and then eventually when he fell asleep we went at it like rabbits! i suppose the waiting and all the sexual tension had been killing us but it was amazing we really clicked well in the bedroom, I talked to my mate again this morning and told him what had happened last night when he fell asleep and that I really liked her as well and think theres something between us he ended up flipping out and we went our seperate ways just heard a couple of minutes ago that he sent the girl a big long text saying how she is a slut for doing that to him and that i will hurt her etc. kind of pissed off about that. anyways meeting up with her again tonight and will probably ask her out. Thanks for all the responses

Bottle_of_Smoke

davyjose wrote: »

So he should avoid doing things that other people have a problem with in spite of his own feelings?
If his friend wants to end a friendship over something petty, then the OP has no control over that.
I've had it happen me, and I've done it myself, and we've moved on. Real friendships don't end over crushes. And that's all your friend has - a lousy crush.

What he should or shouldn't do doesn't come into it. I'm just telling him what's going to happen.

St Bill

OP, I don't understand why you're pissed off. You got what you wanted, your mates antics/feelings shouldn't even be on your radar

LegacyUser

Your mate sounds like a dog in a manger, and his low self esteem is not your problem.

Your nobodies crutch, and he is the one who will decide now if your frindship is worth a damn with his behaviour.

Girls go for the guys they like not the moanier and more immature of the two, life lesson learned for him.

dblennon

your mate needs tro get out of walter mitty land, guys like that are such 'birds' (getting emotional about a random girl is never acceptable)

our rules are;

1. if mate kissed her and is interested but thats all she wants (always confirm by asking HER, then she is back in the game)
2. slept with and is off limits without permission FROM HIM.
3. just really interested but not made a move yet, get in there ASAP before he ruins it for everyone else.

jim o doom

Well the worst that could happen here is your mate ends up ticked off at you, despite never having a chance. (if he wanted you to do nothing, even though he had no chance, he would just be being the proverbial "dog in a manger"). On the other hand, the best thing that could happen is a meaningful relationship with a hot girl. Or just casual sex. Either way I don't see any particularily compelling reason not to go for it.. hell most blokes have had girls they fancied fall in to mates hands - that's just how life is! you learn to live with it and mooooooove on (in other words go for it)

DenMan

Unregistered wrote: »

She 's likely to be just wanting get her bit of you before ditching you and leaving you and you mate broken hearted at some stage!

Why in god's name would she want to do something like that? Has fame and having a cold heart gone to her head that quickly?, and that much?

If you like her OP, then say it to her. Also you should tell your mate, he's been make a fool of. She's stringing him along, he thinks he is on to a winner, while his best mate is the one she wants. Your call man.

Now you got to live with it mate. Just in case FHM/ZOO take rougly 3000-5000 applications for girls from Ireland every year. They may take 50 of them and bring them over for a fashion shoot (weekend). It doesn't mean anything, live it up in a hotel for two nights. Then they may narrow it down to 10 for another shoot. Of that 10, maybe 2 or 3 will be selected for a full shoot during the year. I hope she is one of them mate.

I think you've f*cked up here I have to say. I think you could have done this in a much better way, instead of telling your good mate that you were gonna nail the girl he is mad about just before you did!. He sounds really hurt, I hope she's worth it.

marti101

I think his mate lives in cuckoo land he knew the girl didnt want him he cant be that stupid.But he has put her on a pedestal but now shes slept with the op shes a slut.Shes single the ops single[i hope] she never had any intentuon of going with his friend.All fair in love and war.This might be the wake up call his friend needs after all its not as if she gave her undying love to him and then slept with his best mate.Neither of them are in the wrong so i cant see what the problem is.

Wagon

Your mate fancied her, he could have got off his hole and done something about it, he had plenty of time. I was in his position before and the same result happened to me and it was nobody's fault but mine. Not the lady in question's fault that she didn't like him that way either. This type of carry on is for 15 year olds. Men don't let women come between them and their mates.

Karen_*

Sounds like you've lost a mate. I hope it all works out for you with the girl:)

Curlypinkie

The OP should have talked to his mate beforehand. Drink and emotions are NEVER a good mix and there seemed to be a bit of emotions from OPs friend towards this girl all right.

I don't want to go as far as saying that this girl is slutty, I would say that she was a bit dim. If OP plans to ask this girl out and if she thinks she will be asked out, well then she's very likely to bump into that friend sooner or later.
She KNEW the friend was interested, still she didn't have the guts to tell him she wasn't.
The way both OP and the girl showed his friend they were into each other is digusting and I hope it comes back and smacks them in the face at some point.

Until the OP wrote the update I was all like:
"Yeah, go for it man, let your friend know you're into her and hopefully she will also let him know"
But now it's just another really nice guy that has been kicked to the curb by a cocky ejiit.

OP, you're not a friend but the proverbial ***hole and you need to seriously appologize to your friend for this. Booze is not an excuse... sorry. I'm not sure I would be able to forgive you that soon if I was your friend.
If you were honest and upfront about it a bit eralier than minutes from scoring, yeah. Sober talk? Even more so. This situation. Bad. Real bad.
Sorry for the rant but even tho I'm a girl I go by the motto:
"Bros before hoes"

LegacyUser

Curlypinkie wrote: »

The OP should have talked to his mate beforehand. Drink and emotions are NEVER a good mix and there seemed to be a bit of emotions from OPs friend towards this girl all right.

I don't want to go as far as saying that this girl is slutty, I would say that she was a bit dim. If OP plans to ask this girl out and if she thinks she will be asked out, well then she's very likely to bump into that friend sooner or later.
She KNEW the friend was interested, still she didn't have the guts to tell him she wasn't.
The way both OP and the girl showed his friend they were into each other is digusting and I hope it comes back and smacks them in the face at some point.

Until the OP wrote the update I was all like:
"Yeah, go for it man, let your friend know you're into her and hopefully she will also let him know"
But now it's just another really nice guy that has been kicked to the curb by a cocky ejiit.

OP, you're not a friend but the proverbial ***hole and you need to seriously appologize to your friend for this. Booze is not an excuse... sorry. I'm not sure I would be able to forgive you that soon if I was your friend.
If you were honest and upfront about it a bit eralier than minutes from scoring, yeah. Sober talk? Even more so. This situation. Bad. Real bad.
Sorry for the rant but even tho I'm a girl I go by the motto:
"Bros before hoes"

I didn't score her minutes after telling him in the club I didn't actually score her till we had gotten back to her appartment and he was asleep. I had explained to him she saw him as a friend and that I really liked her and she likes me in the nicest possible way. He proceeded to ruin everyones night by getting absolutely bolloxed and starting trouble still I stayed with him the whole night even getting involved in what could of been a very nasty inciddent (started a fight with a huge guy) so I dont think you could say I am not a friend

His reaction today was even worse though she forwarded the txt he sent her and it was some really nasty ****

LegacyUser

DenMan wrote: »

Why in god's name would she want to do something like that? Has fame and having a cold heart gone to her head that quickly?, and that much?

If you like her OP, then say it to her. Also you should tell your mate, he's been make a fool of. She's stringing him along, he thinks he is on to a winner, while his best mate is the one she wants. Your call man.

Now you got to live with it mate. Just in case FHM/ZOO take rougly 3000-5000 applications for girls from Ireland every year. They may take 50 of them and bring them over for a fashion shoot (weekend). It doesn't mean anything, live it up in a hotel for two nights. Then they may narrow it down to 10 for another shoot. Of that 10, maybe 2 or 3 will be selected for a full shoot during the year. I hope she is one of them mate.

I don't know if she had been stringing him along I mean she really liked him genuinely as a friend and loved to hang out with him just not in the way that he wanted.

And not too sure on the details but she was offered a good bit of money for some shoots so I assume it was a proper one trust me she would fit in no problem with FHM/ZOO girls

LegacyUser

There is a very simple answer to this mate.

Do it.


Think of it like this. You're 80 years old sitting by the fire thinking back on those of life's memories that leaves a wide smile on the face. This girl will be in there if she is that amazing. You're friend will get over it in time, and if anything he needs to learn a lesson, not to be pining over a girl that clearly doesn't go for his type. You would be doing him a favour. Nothing worse than falling for a girl who you have zero chance with. It sucks, but if you don't get in there with this girl, another bloke will. Girls like that don't stay free long.

Just do it. You're frail 80 year old self in the future would dearly thank you for it.

Do it.

SimpleAnswer

SimpleAnswer wrote: »

There is a very simple answer to this mate.

Do it.

you're a bit late. He's already "done it"

tommyboy2222

OP, you did the right thing.

Your friend sounds like he needs to grow up.

Sometimes girls he likes aint gonna like him. Its a fact of life.

What are you supposed to do ? Wait till he doesn't fancy a girl before you make a move on her.

Things may or may not work out with this girl but you have to give it a go.

Also it sounds like there may be more than your mate in to her.

Could I get a pic please ?

Handsome Bob

Unregistered wrote: »

OP here ended up hooking up with her last night told my mate in the club i was going for it and he got all pissed off drank himself into oblivion and then started a fight which I had to break up. We ended up bringing him back to her appartment because he was in such a state and then eventually when he fell asleep we went at it like rabbits! i suppose the waiting and all the sexual tension had been killing us but it was amazing we really clicked well in the bedroom, I talked to my mate again this morning and told him what had happened last night when he fell asleep and that I really liked her as well and think theres something between us he ended up flipping out and we went our seperate ways just heard a couple of minutes ago that he sent the girl a big long text saying how she is a slut for doing that to him and that i will hurt her etc. kind of pissed off about that. anyways meeting up with her again tonight and will probably ask her out. Thanks for all the responses

Damn. Well when he calms down he's going to be feeling like a right embarrassment. Be the bigger man OP when he comes to apologize and accept it, don't hold it against him.

davyjose

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

What he should or shouldn't do doesn't come into it. I'm just telling him what's going to happen.

And you were right. But the simple fact is it's not the OP's fault his friend called the girl SLUT, started a FIGHT, got mindlessly DRUNK now is it?

It's tough enough being responsible for one's own actions, never mind other people.

OP, you did nothing wrong. Your friend was infatuated with this girl. Yeah, what happened was tough. But it's your life, and yours to live, and if you stop and think and worry too much, you'll miss out. Glad you didn't this time.