Bridesmaid Dilemna

curlybob

My sister is getting married in 16 months time and has a bit of a problem regarding choosing her bridesmaid. any advice or opinions would be great.

So the situation is, she is going to be bridesmaid for one of her friends this October. She was asked to do this more than a year ago and she happily accepted but told her friend at the time she wouldnt be able to return the favour by asking her. My sister has now gone and asked her best friend to be bridesmaid along with me, as she really wants her beside her on the day, they have been great friends for years, through thick and thin and tell each other everything no matter how embarrasing their problems.

The problem is the girl who my sister is going to be bridesmaid for, her other friend, will most likely be upset by this , hurt and offended but my if my sister asks her, she will also have to ask another girl which will lead to 4 bridesmaids in total. She dosent particularly want this as its a small church, plus the groom dosent have as many people he could ask. Not to mention the added cost.

So what does she do, bite the bullet and ask all four, roping in outsiders for the grooms men position to keep everyone happy?

Or tell the other friend before her wedding, upsetting her and leaving the friendship tainted.- now the other thing is, the fact that this girl is getting married a few moths before my sister the likley hood is that she will be pregnant at the time anyway and probably wont want to walk down the aisle with a bump, but she wont be thinking about that now.

or dont tell her friend till after her wedding and still taint the relationship.

Any advce or previous experience or further solutions would be great,

Thanks,

taztastic

I really think that the world and its mother can give your sister advice but she won't be happy with the decision unless she makes it herself. With that caveat I will now make a hypocrite of myself and say what about finding something else for her to do? Not sure about religious ceremony format but is there a reading or something like that?

bensoneb

Finding her something else to do is a really good idea! I had one of my friends do a reading called 'Friendship' which was really nice. She wasn't a bridesmaid but in reading this poem, it showed that she was a very important part of my life.

Having said that, It's your sister's wedding and everyone is going to have to respect the fact that all decisions are hers and she will have to do what makes her happy.

iguana

bensoneb wrote: »

Finding her something else to do is a really good idea! I had one of my friends do a reading called 'Friendship' which was really nice. She wasn't a bridesmaid but in reading this poem, it showed that she was a very important part of my life.

I'd second that. Advise your sister to have a chat with her, and explain about how she really just wants two bridesmaids but she'd love her to have a different role in the wedding. Either a reading, or if she is a talented singer she could sing something as part of the ceremony.

I've also been at where after the speeches, the bride and groom give a token gift to any special friends who while not in the wedding party, made the day special for them. It could just be a little bouquet of flowers or something along those lines.

curlybob

Thanks for all the replys. That friendship poem sounds like a great idea, and I'm sure with some gentle explaining she will be able to over come it. but as you said taztastic my sister will have to make the decision herself!

good advice from all of you thanks again..