Baby sitting

earth mother

I would really like to know if anyone has any opinions on the suitability or otherwise of a 12 year old boy 'baby' sitting a five year old girl. Getting her ready for bed, etc. He is physcially very mature for his age, and she adores him: they are first cousins.

samhail

legally i dont think your allowed. you need to have someone responsible.

babysitters should be deal with something out of the ordinary.

earth mother

Actually, there doesn't seem to be any legal impediment to any age being left in charge.
My problem is with the suitability of a young boy being left in charge of a small girl.
Not that the boy has done anything to deserve my mistrust, or anything. I suppose my attitude is that you don't ever put kids in positions of vulnerability, if you can possibly avoid it

Nevyn

I woudn't do it.

smelltheglove

No children under the age of 14 should be left alone.

LolaDub

I'm not sure a 12 year old should be left alone himself nevermind in charge of a 5 year old.

I thought there was a legal age requirement on people left in charge of children?

littlebitdull

I would have to say that there are very few hard and fast rules here. Back in the day ...when I was 12 and in first year in secondary I used to babysit my cousins, there were five of them to mind ranging down from 9 to an infant. And that was in the days when few people even had a house phone - let alone mobiles.

So I judge this on the individual situation. Like are you going to be gone for long, or even more to the point are you going to be far away? If you are going to be very near, and could be home in minutes, then its much less of a problem than if say your going to be two hours getting back.

I have two older kids, one of whom - my boy - would have been well capable at 12 of minding a cousin of 5 - the other - a girl - would not have been confident/responsible enought till this past year or so - at aged 15.

I think in this case saying your concerns are about the suitability of a boy minding a girl - is very very wrong. If you are saying that you feel this way simply because the older child in question is a boy. Then shame on you.

Are we now to assume that once your a male you must never care for a female. As your post seems to imply.

Shame on you.

LolaDub

littlebitdull wrote: »

Are we now to assume that once your a male you must never care for a female. As your post seems to imply.

Shame on you.

Bit harsh in my opinion. The op has come looking for advice not to be shouted for shame at. Sadly in this day and age children are targets for different things we'd prefer not to think about. Taking measures to prevent this and protect your children is responsible imo. I doubt the op was mentioning a boy as a direct attack on his sex but more as a point to give the situation as much info as possible as she already included he is mature and the little girl adores him

Redpunto

No no no no no

Hes just too young.

RAFC

Personally I wouldn't think it fair on the 12yr old to give him the responsibility of minding a 5 yr old. If anything should go wrong he would be too young to be expected to know what to do.

Quackles

Gender wise, I wouldn't have a problem - I've left my fellow with my brothers countless times, and if this one is a girl, I will too. However, my brothers are in their 20s. I would never leave a 12 year old alone, let alone minding other children. He's just too young. I'm thinking 16 would be my limit, and even then, it depends on the person..

kizzyr

Gender shouldn't be an issue. However I think 12 is too young, not necessarily because they (on an individual basis) aren't mature enough to be able to put someone to bed but in the event of something going wrong:
e.g. the 5 year old swallows something and starts to choke, a fire breaks out etc etc then the 12 year old, as a child, couldn't possibly be expected to deal with the situation. I think it would be dreadfully unfair to both the 12 year old and 5 year old to be left.
I was 12 when I took my first babysitting job and looking back I think it was insane that the parents asked me to. I wouldn't ever get someone who was 12 to mind any child I was responsible for.

silja

The male/ female thing wouldn't be an issue for me, we have had my husband's 16 and 18 year old nephews watching our boy/ girl twins. But like for most other posters, the age would. I'd be ok with a 12 year old watching a 5 year old briefly, say while I go to the shops, or getting her ready for bed while I make dinner, but I wouldn't want any 12 year old babysitting alone, no matter how mature or what the law says.

noby

LolaDub wrote: »

I doubt the op was mentioning a boy as a direct attack on his sex

The third post leaves it open to this assumption, and LBD doesn't seem to be the only one that picked up on it.

earth mother

littlebitdull wrote: »

I think in this case saying your concerns are about the suitability of a boy minding a girl - is very very wrong. If you are saying that you feel this way simply because the older child in question is a boy. Then shame on you.
Are we now to assume that once your a male you must never care for a female. As your post seems to imply.
Shame on you.

You can be as judgemental as you like about my opinions as to suitability. Whilst I totally agree that 12 is too young to be looking after a child, the minding would be earlyish in the evening, for about 3 hours and does involve helping the child get ready for bed.
And my concern is avoiding any problems for either child. And if you think that it is an impossibility, then you are living in a world of denial.
Incidentally, neither child is mine. Altho I am a very close relative.
The mother of the boy is deeply appalled by the suggestion that her son could be put into a situation of ..........temptation............experimentation ........ what do you want to call it? The mother of the girl is devastated also that her concerns have been misconstrued.
Anyway. Thank you all for your imput, opinions and advice.

Rev Hellfire

earth mother wrote: »

You can be as judgemental as you like about my opinions as to suitability. Whilst I totally agree that 12 is too young to be looking after a child, the minding would be earlyish in the evening, for about 3 hours and does involve helping the child get ready for bed.
And my concern is avoiding any problems for either child. And if you think that it is an impossibility, then you are living in a world of denial.
Incidentally, neither child is mine. Altho I am a very close relative.
The mother of the boy is deeply appalled by the suggestion that her son could be put into a situation of ..........temptation............experimentation ........ what do you want to call it? The mother of the girl is devastated also that her concerns have been misconstrued.
Anyway. Thank you all for your imput, opinions and advice.

I totally agree with you, which is why I would never have a female babysit for my son, some women can't be trusted...

Ultimately I think most people consider the age of the prospective child-minder to be too young.
The secondary issue of trust is a valid one though, but clouded by the issue of gender. Any stranger is a prospective danger to your child and as such you should vet any potential child-minder carefully.

smelltheglove

From looking through guidelines in relation to other matters previously I know there is no set age but the recommendation has been mentioned at 14 for a chiod to be left alone. Back in the day I remember minding my brother while my mam went to town shopping, just me and my sister, she would have been 11, me 9, I changed his nappies. Imagine that happening now???? Social services would be at the door.

Things are different now, there is a lot more risk, a lot more danger due to increased population there is increased crime so situations like that just arent accepted anymore.

I have a brother who is 11, I would happily go have a lie down with him looking after my 2yrold. He is brilliant with kids but I would never dare leave him alone in the house with her. He would not realise to check the gas knobs in the kitchen if she had gotten in there alone, she has turned them on before. He would not think of checking the lamp where she has been known to take the bulb out of. She has often banged her nouth and cut her lip and with the amount of blood from a cut lip he would be devastated and completely unable to deal with that.

As for preparing for bed, I don't think my brother would be bothered at all, well able to put jammies on the little one but I just could never expect him to get her ready for bed. In all honesty and not trying to be harsh I really think you would be risking it have a 12yr old mind a baby alone, boy or girl, their mentality just isnt developed enough.