wimmin troubles

LegacyUser

Hi,

I could use some advice here. I did a one year college course last year, where I met a girl who I got on OK with, and gradually got to know. Shortly after we finished lectures for the summer, she asked me out on a date (via e-mail, I guess she was shy). The trouble is, she had a boyfriend of six years at the time. She was living with him, having moved over from a foreign country. Things weren't going well between the two of them, since they weren't used to living together. I ended up turning her down for the date, mostly because of the boyfriend.

A few months later a few of us from college met up for drinks and I ended up kissing her on the way home. A month after that, she broke up with her boyfriend (she had come home from those drinks pretty late, quite drunk, and apparently he didn't talk to her for a month as a result). They've been broken up for about a week now, and she wanted to start going out with me pretty much immediately.

Two things are bothering me here. One, it seems like it's way too soon, given the length of her previous relationship. Two, it's pretty clear to me that she feels way, way more strongly about me than I do about her. She's a nice girl and she's insanely smart (something I value quite a lot im my wimmins), but I just don't get that feeling of "I *need* to be with her" that I've got with other girls.

Would I be mad to give this a shot now? Should I wait a while and then try?

LegacyUser

Headache city. She's rebounding from a very longtime relationship. You're not that sure if you into her. She'll probably expect you to fix everything that gone wrong up to now. I'd dodge last quick sharp.

MagicMarker

I also value intelligence in a woman, but not as much as moral values. If she was willing to cheat on her boyfriend of 6 years so easily then she would do the same to you in a heartbeat.

So yes, you'd be crazy to do anything with her, especially seeing as she seems to care more for you than you her, and regardless of whether it's now or in 6 months time.

von Neumann

she sounds like trouble,

You should file her under f for f**k and forget.

or else steer clear. just my 2c

PurpleBerry

You never know. I know one key phrase is "6 year relationship" but it sounds like she phoned out of that relationship a while ago.

6 years and they'd just moved in? Sounds like a schoolhouse thing.

Wibbs

I agree with Neesa, after 6 years I would reckon she had left that relationship way before you popped on the scene. A lot of people(particularly some women) can't be on their own, they need the company and social justification of a partner, so they'll wait until a new person pops into view and then leave the old.

She's also not from Ireland so the lack of family and friends that are likely to be mostly his will isolate her. That fear of isolation may even have kept her relationship going for longer than it would have otherwise. It also means chances are she feels quite vulnerable now hence her passion and pushiness for replacement.

I'd also say that as her last relationship was going on for 6 years, she's not likely to be rebounding as such. The honeymoon part of that was well over. Her emotional attachment will be based more on the time together and shared memories than romance.

I would still be very wary. This goes double as you're not that pushed on her. In fact it really boils down to that. You're not that pushed so why bother?